Does Anyone have Problems Making Friends?

PrincessKitty

PrincessKitty

Well-known member
Well I do.
I always did. :kickingmyself:
I try to make to make arrangements to meet up, and text even skype once in a while. But no know one really wants to talk to me (well that's what I'm feeling)
I live in a rural area which makes it even harder to make friends.
I don't like facebook #rant

But I just wondered if anyone else has the same problem as me?
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
I live in a huge city where you'd think it would be easy to meet people and make friends, but I haven't made a single one in the 5+ years I've lived here off and on. I started to in college, but I couldn't quite maintain them.

So yes, I know exactly how you feel.
 
Odo

Odo

Banned
Well, it's a site for people with social phobia, so I'm going to have to say that there's a good chance the majority is with you on this one. :p

Anyways, yes, I do... most people my age are either happily or unhappily married and a lot of them have children, so not having even a girlfriend means that I have almost no common ground with most people my age. On the other hand, I'm not actually meeting people so I can't say for sure whether this is the norm or not.

I can say for sure that I'm the only one in my entire extended family who isn't married or involved in any kind of relationship and hasn't been in one for the past 15+ years... so after a while that sort of becomes such a significant point of shame that it makes you want to want to avoid everyone else.

Maybe other people in this situation would be taking steps to get over this, but I have no idea where to begin or how to feel even slightly confident about myself, which in turn becomes an enormous turn off... people my age aren't supposed to be fumbling through basic everyday actions and to be perfectly honest I completely understand why people avoid me-- I would want to avoid me as well.
 
PrincessKitty

PrincessKitty

Well-known member
Odo said:
Well, it's a site for people with social phobia, so I'm going to have to say that there's a good chance the majority is with you on this one. :p

Anyways, yes, I do... most people my age are either happily or unhappily married and a lot of them have children, so not having even a girlfriend means that I have almost no common ground with most people my age. On the other hand, I'm not actually meeting people so I can't say for sure whether this is the norm or not.

I can say for sure that I'm the only one in my entire extended family who isn't married or involved in any kind of relationship and hasn't been in one for the past 15+ years... so after a while that sort of becomes such a significant point of shame that it makes you want to want to avoid everyone else.

.
Click to expand...

Me too! I mean all my family is married or has a family I'm 21 and most of my friends has either got a family. So I know what your going through it sucks. What I mean to say is that half my friends have got pregnant a bit to young. So I have no interests with them.
And this is a place where everyone knows everyone. :thumbdown:
 
neardeath

neardeath

Well-known member
Even with the SA, I force myself to meet people. The problem is, then they almost all do something that drives me crazy. People get needy, they are users, they don't know what respect is or how to even have a relationship. They don't respect my boundaries even when I am clear with them. Etc. Man, am I negative?

One friend finishes at least half her sentences with the words "and that." What? How do you tell someone? She is a loving, caring, soul who irritates me because of how she talks. I can't be around her very long. Thank God, she got a kayak, too, so now we go out on the water and I just paddle outside of hearing range. :bigsmile:

I guess I'm too judgmental. If you do meet someone you want to hang out with, set some relationship rules and tell each other what needs to be said instead of leaving it all to chance. It pays to be honest. Follow your gut. If you are uncomfortable move on. Good luck!

P.S. Don't be too discouraged. Maybe it's taking a while for you so you can end up meeting the right people. :)
 
Last edited:
Steelsoul

Steelsoul

Well-known member
I think we here all have that problem, so i don't think we can give you much advice. All i can say is if you find the right person to be your friend, the friendship will built up itself.
 
Capsaicin

Capsaicin

Well-known member
I don't live in a rural area, but I'm pretty slow around people.

I'm taking a summer class in psychology, and after class one of my classmates mentioned something about the recent loss of a child in passing. I just kind of brushed her off with a bit of sympathy because I'm awkward and I've been zoned out and emotionally closed off lately. It was only a few days later that I realized she probably wanted someone to talk to, and that the topic of the day (grieving, parent and child separation in particular) had pretty much been rubbing it in her face. I should have invited her for a coffee and an ear or something...

I could have not been an awful person and potentially made a new friend. :kickingmyself:
 
SilentBird

SilentBird

Well-known member
I don't think I've ever initiated a friendship. The most I have offered is a "hello, nice to meet you." Fortunately people have befriended me instead and I have reciprocated. I find it difficult to maintain friendships but I'm learning I need to keep in touch. Otherwise I'm going to end up alone and miserable.
 
L

laure15

Well-known member
I have trouble making new friends too. I could barely hang on to the ones I have. It's easier to make friends with people who have similar interests, values, and characteristics with you because you can talk about those things and do things you both enjoy. But I am open to friendships with other types of people too.
 
Alienated

Alienated

Well-known member
Shoot I can't even get anyone to have a cup of coffee with me !! But if I stand back and watch them for awhile, and see how they treat themselves and others....

IT"S A BLESSING !!
 
sahxox

sahxox

Well-known member
Yeah I have trouble with confidence... I need to know that they absolutely won't reject me, or I won't start anything. Problem is I tend to ****yse their responses too much - they could be having a bad day - and take it personally, discouraging me from doing the same in future. It's a horribly difficult and slow process to break but I'm trying to retrain myself to be able to at least befriend those rare people I see as worthwhile.
 
Bo592

Bo592

Well-known member
I only know what other have told me friends are made though trust. I guess my trouble is I never been good at breaking a connection with others I always been way off to understanding them and where they are coming from.
 
N

NamiraWilhelm

Well-known member
Hell yes, I'm trying my damnedest improve my social circle this year, and I've made one friend only by being forward at work. But like my other very few friends she's married, and very much has her own life. What I'd really like are people still in the same place as me...

I don't feel up to joining clubs etc by myself so not sure what else to do. Are there sites to help people meet friends only or are they all mixed up with dating sites? I've always been able to get a date, yet no one wants to be friends with me :/
 
Steiner

Steiner

Well-known member
I do.

One because I suck at socializing.

Two because I don't particularly enjoy the company of friends.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
You've got to initiate . Most friendships arise from one person doing a lot of the initiating. the calling, the showing interest. It probably won't come to you unless you are always around a lot of people, like doing a course, playing a sport, at concerts, wherever. Either someone else meets you, likes you, and initiates a friendship or you have to be the one who drives a friendship from the start.

Something to remember.

Lots of people are waiting for others to just start something off.

It doesn't matter if you are awkward, or not smooth. It's the showing interest that will work.
 
AMessInATL

AMessInATL

New member
I do.... I just don't know how to talk to people that I don't know. The odd thing is I have to do it all day long when working. All I do is talk to people I don't know. Even if in a situation I enjoy and am knowledgeable about, I cannot bring myself to start a conversation. I feel the isolation closing in on me. It's making me nuts!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top