honestly , i do want to die . im a truly just tired of living , in fact im pretty sick of it .
i want to die because what i want in life i cant have , the kind of world i want to live in will never exist . if im honest , i know if we had a gun in our house i would have been gone about a year ago , i have pretty much begged god to take my life but alas to no avail . i wake up almost everyday and wonder why am i still living . now dont get it twisted , i am depressed , im paranoid and i suffer from anxiety too . i can never be complete but i can hide it in public so if you saw me you would probably think i was perfectly normal , even deeply confident sometimes but im not .