Do you think monogamy is natural?

Dead_on_Arrival

Well-known member
I know this is going to wind up some people. But no, I do not think monogamy is natural. It is sustainable to some, but not most.

OK...I'm ready.....

I have to agree. We as humans are the only mamal who are monogomous. This is due to human evolution causing our minds to work out laws to be set out by our religeons and our dependance on rules.
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I have no idea -- it's become obvious to me that I'm a freak of nature, so everyone else on the planet is welcome to think and do whatever they please but I will only ever be monogamous.
That is just the way my 'heart' works.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
We as humans are the only mamal who are monogomous.
No. It's rare, but there are other mammal examples. In fact, we are, as a species, substantially less monogamous than most of those examples.

This is due to human evolution causing our minds to work out laws to be set out by our religeons and our dependance on rules.
Not really. It's about biology, and rules have little to do with it in the end. People conveniently forget what their religion teaches about being faithful all the time if they see an attractive opportunity.

Humans are what you might call in the middle ground as goes our instinctive inclination towards monogamy. Keep in mind that our closest genetic relatives--the chimps, are total whores. There's a direct correlation between testicle size and whorishness. Chimps have huge balls; we have medium sized balls.

Did you know we produce 3 kinds of sperm? The sort that does the job, the sort that seeks out the sperm of the last guy and kills it, and the sperm that acts as a blocker for the guy after you. Our ancestors must have been total sluts!

For us, basically, absolute monogamy with no cheating whatsoever is rare in a relationship that lasts for a lifetime--and very few relationships will last that long. That doesn't mean it's impossible though. Free will and all that.

:)
 
eh swans and penguins and eh armadillos ok now im just makin stuff up someone help me out here. lots of creatures (yes I know you said mammals) mate for life
 
I don't know, but I think that monogamy and mating for life are two separate concepts- I think most humans are monogamous in the sense that they usually only have one partner at any given time (yes, many cheat, but it's not usually an accepted behavior)- but it's rare to see anyone stick with the same partner for their whole life- and a rough road for those who did manage to do it.
 
I've thought about this a lot. The evidence points to the answer being yes.

A) When a male and a female human mate or even just get close to each other a hormone is released called "oxytocin". Its main job is to assist in muscle contractions but it also creates a strong emotional bond between the two. The same hormone is released to form a bond between a mother and her child.

B) Although the hormone does eventually wear off and you can find yourself in a loveless marriage, you have to remember that technology has helped humans live waaay longer than they used to. People used to die around age 40 which means they would only be attached to their significant other for about 20-30 years.

C) If you look at humans all over the world, pretty much every single culture that has ever developed - even ones completely isolated from the rest - have some sort of ritual resembling marriage.

D)This leads me to believe that natural selection has favoured humans being monogamous for whatever reason - perhaps because, traditionally, male primates are big and strong and thus able to ward of potential dangers from its child while females are generally better at nursing the baby. Either one alone would have trouble taking care of a baby but together they make a formidable team.

So I think monogamy is natural for humans. But that doesn't mean you have to be monogamous because you're a human. It was just once a favourable trait for our survival.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
I've thought about this a lot. The evidence points to the answer being yes.

A) When a male and a female human mate or even just get close to each other a hormone is released called "oxytocin". Its main job is to assist in muscle contractions but it also creates a strong emotional bond between the two. The same hormone is released to form a bond between a mother and her child.

B) Although the hormone does eventually wear off and you can find yourself in a loveless marriage, you have to remember that technology has helped humans live waaay longer than they used to. People used to die around age 40 which means they would only be attached to their significant other for about 20-30 years.

C) If you look at humans all over the world, pretty much every single culture that has ever developed - even ones completely isolated from the rest - have some sort of ritual resembling marriage.

D)This leads me to believe that natural selection has favoured humans being monogamous for whatever reason - perhaps because, traditionally, male primates are big and strong and thus able to ward of potential dangers from its child while females are generally better at nursing the baby. Either one alone would have trouble taking care of a baby but together they make a formidable team.

So I think monogamy is natural for humans. But that doesn't mean you have to be monogamous because you're a human. It was just once a favourable trait for our survival.

The trend in our evolution is towards monogamy, but to make a long story short: we're not there yet. If monogamy were truly 'natural' for us, in the sense that it is for certain other species, it would take no effort at all. There would be no temptation to cheat.
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
The trend in our evolution is towards monogamy, but to make a long story short: we're not there yet. If monogamy were truly 'natural' for us, in the sense that it is for certain other species, it would take no effort at all. There would be no temptation to cheat.

Ohhh~ this was how it was for me the one time I was attracted to someone.
Never any temptation-- I still don't understand what that word even means when it comes to relationships.
I get it when I'm on a diet and I'm 'tempted' to eat a big greasy hamburger; but temptation isn't there when I love someone.

So am I a freak of nature or possibly just more evolved than most people?
I guess there's a good and a bad way to spin it.
Freak of nature sounds more fun, though!

And about the balls and that other thing... good for humans! At least we've got that going for us? Right?
bahaha! XD
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Ohhh~ this was how it was for me the one time I was attracted to someone.
Never any temptation-- I still don't understand what that word even means when it comes to relationships.
I get it when I'm on a diet and I'm 'tempted' to eat a big greasy hamburger; but temptation isn't there when I love someone.

So am I a freak of nature or possibly just more evolved than most people?
I guess there's a good and a bad way to spin it.
Freak of nature sounds more fun, though!
I can only speak about our species as a whole, of course.

that other thing... good for humans! At least we've got that going for us? Right?
bahaha! XD
Arguably more importantly, we seem to be the only species where the female can have an orgasm! :D
 

Nl54

Well-known member
I do not think monogamy is natural. Even if your married, you look at an attractive man or woman and think "Boy, they are good looking. Wouldn't mind tapping that." But many married or long term people won't do it, for fear of messing up the relationship that they have. I have noticed that most women seem to be more content when it comes to monogamy than males. I mean hell, just read the Bible or Koran. Men having multiple wives and concubines is commonplace in those books.
 

IGotSeoul

Well-known member
Do you think monogamy is natural? And do you think its sustainable?

Monogamy is a purpose serving social creation, it's not natural. It's sustainable through our ability to adapt and conform as a means of reaching something socially desirable.
 

AGR

Well-known member
I've thought about this a lot. The evidence points to the answer being yes.

A) When a male and a female human mate or even just get close to each other a hormone is released called "oxytocin". Its main job is to assist in muscle contractions but it also creates a strong emotional bond between the two. The same hormone is released to form a bond between a mother and her child. .
But can this hormone only be released with just one sexual partner?
I dont know,but I would guess not,because there IS cheating and people who like and have sex with two persons at the same time(not at the same time,but you know what I meant:D).

B) Although the hormone does eventually wear off and you can find yourself in a loveless marriage, you have to remember that technology has helped humans live waaay longer than they used to. People used to die around age 40 which means they would only be attached to their significant other for about 20-30 years.

C) If you look at humans all over the world, pretty much every single culture that has ever developed - even ones completely isolated from the rest - have some sort of ritual resembling marriage.
c)marriage doesnt mean someone is monogamous,there are also marriage with multiple persons in other cultures.

D)This leads me to believe that natural selection has favoured humans being monogamous for whatever reason - perhaps because, traditionally, male primates are big and strong and thus able to ward of potential dangers from its child while females are generally better at nursing the baby. Either one alone would have trouble taking care of a baby but together they make a formidable team.
Again this doesnt mean someone is monogamous,I remember reading something that 30% or 40% percent of children tested were not born to the "husband",also today there are methods that you can avoid having children so you can cheat without having children.
 
Top