Do you smile at people often?

[davemason2k]

I'm reading this self help book and the author says it's very important to smile at people, because it allows others to relax around you. I think this is part of my problem. My natural face expression is pretty much a frown and I bet that's why people rarely approach me. My sister has the same problem. She's said a few times that people would ask her "if she was ok?" or something because she was looking grumpy. In fact, she was happy as could be. So, today when I went to the store, I practiced smiling at people. Not a big grin, but a little lip smile just to try it out. I don't know if it will do anything major, but it's better than looking serious and mean like I imagine I do. Anyways, has anyone tried this before? Do you think there is truth to what the author of this book said? I'm really trying to break out of my bubble and try to open up to people. Before I started therapy and meds, I would just walk around avoiding eye contact with a serious look on my face. Now that I'm on medication and less stressed out and suffer no more panic attacks, I really want to take chances and allow people to warm up to me.

 

[decadeOfSA]

almost never

 

[Kamen]

Not often, but enough.

 

[krs1snow]

davemason2k, that's a great idea! There's absolutely something to it too! How can anyone expect people to be nice to them if they aren't nice to people?

Yes, Smile!

 

[Richey]

Hmm to be honest i dont think it makes a difference to what comes out of your mouth though and smiling at someone who is a stranger seems odd to me, especially if you've never spoken to them before, it depends on the situation ..

but that's just me, ive also believed that smiling can help and sometimes a smile may make you more approachable, ive had people say "why are you smiling for"? so it depends when you do it but to be honest i dont think it means alot, its far more important to react to how you feel, for instance if you are sincerely feeling down at a particular moment then smiling doesnt reprasent that feeling, so you're only really smiling to please others rather then feeling the moment ...

so my advice is to feel the moment, smile when its relevant to your feelings ...

you don't have to walk into a shop and smile to the person behind the cash register especially if you dont know them ...

for instance ive been to a few places near my area and smiled and acted cheery yet the person behind the counter didn't even make eye contact because they were stressed out and just handed me the change, but their reaction to me was honest, they weren't feeling happy so hence "no smile" ..

so i suppose i'm saying a forced smile is being fake ...but thats just me ..

my uncle and auntie are both polyana, always cheery and its great because they have an energy but its just to fake to me and it gets annoying after a while ...they started telling me how they could never comprehend depression, which is a bullshit thing to say as everybody lives through happiness and sadness, some people just want to look cool and are too afraid to admit these things because they view depression as weakness, to me they are the ones with the problems not me

 

[duma]

I have the same problem, I guess when I am anxious and outside I am so focused on what I am doing, planning to do or coping in the situation, that i forget to smile or have a very serious or even angry look on my face.
In my experience, I have also tried out this strategy when going to the shops, catching a bus or dealing with a store persone/shop keeper and I have had very positive results. Where its been positive for me is in situations where I will see these people again, ie the same shop keeper next time I'm at the shops or the bus driver who drives the same route, if I have smiled when thanking them or in general just dealing with them they seem to be responsive and more positive towards me the next time or at the least not negative or judgemental like I fear. I guess its what you were saying about making others feel comfortable around you and if I am frowning or non-descript/distant it seems those people may develop a negative opinion of me or dread serving me etc. Which is a fear I have.

But more importantly, smiling for me makes me actually feel good/better than if I had a non-descript face on, it makes a connection with someone or lets me know that they wont judge me or formulate a negative opinion of me after I leave. It also helps in my dealing with these people next time because I believe that it is less likely thay have a negative opinion of me because I smiled at them the last time I dealt with them so i am more confident or at the least not anxious or dreading interacting with them.

I dont believe in a one size fits all strategy for everyone in defeating SP, interacting with people etc but I would reccommend you try it, not to be fake but really just give a slight smile like I do and you may probably knowtice that you begin to feel happier or less anxious(if you experience that). Sometimes its really hard for me to be happy or smile with people if I am not because I am so anxious or depressed and I believe you should not cover up your feelings but sometimes you have to challenge how you think which could be contributing to how you feel - if that makes sense ? :? I usually think about a funny thing to get me to really smile/laugh; like for me its anything from the show "The Office" or a funny situation from school, work etc.

This is just what works for me tho but I do reccommend smiling, hope what I said kindof makes sense

 

[sleepysparrow]

I always smile at people, always!

 

[OmicronAlfa]

I often smile, sometimes unwittingly. It`s because I`m coward. :roll:

 

[blinx]

i smile all the time to try and look interested and friendly when people talk to me
But normally i'm to anxious to reply, i just chuckle and smile

 

[typewriterx]

I don't normally just randomly smile at people. I feel uncomfortable&vulnerable (nooo idea why) doing that.
But in conversation, I make sure I make eye contact, ask questions, stay interested&smile. It doesn't seem to work all of the time though.

BUT, just 10 minutes ago, I smiled at some random lady downtown. It's a first step?

 

[recluse]

Yes i always smile at people.

 

[Psychedelicious]

I will only smile at people if they smile at me first.

 

[Argamemnon]

I try to smile, but since it is obvious that it's forced and fake, people don't really acknowledge my smile.

 

[Emma]

Nooo, I usually look angry, scared or pull a lemon sucking face

 

[playthepsychedelic]

I'm reading this self help book and the author says it's very important to smile at people, because it allows others to relax around you. I think this is part of my problem. My natural face expression is pretty much a frown and I bet that's why people rarely approach me. My sister has the same problem. She's said a few times that people would ask her "if she was ok?" or something because she was looking grumpy. In fact, she was happy as could be. So, today when I went to the store, I practiced smiling at people. Not a big grin, but a little lip smile just to try it out. I don't know if it will do anything major, but it's better than looking serious and mean like I imagine I do. Anyways, has anyone tried this before? Do you think there is truth to what the author of this book said? I'm really trying to break out of my bubble and try to open up to people. Before I started therapy and meds, I would just walk around avoiding eye contact with a serious look on my face. Now that I'm on medication and less stressed out and suffer no more panic attacks, I really want to take chances and allow people to warm up to me.

me and my brother have exactly the same thing. our natural face expression is a frown and people constantly ask if we ar mad or something...I can't help it. I try to smile alot to people,but sometimes It's very unnatural and embarrasing smiling at inappropiate moments...

 

[Jellybeans]

all the time. only if they're talking to me though. the only time i really have anxiety is if i feel like i'm being watched - what makes it worse is when there's no dialogue! to strangers, i only speak when spoken to... and it takes people off guard to find i can be really talkative, they just have to start the convo... cause there's no way in hell i'm gonna be the one

 

[strawberrybrunette]

About six months ago, after recieving too many derrogatory comments about constantly looking miserable, i resolved to smile and laugh around people more. At first it felt very forced, but now it's totally natural. Apparently i used to look very unapproachable, but now that i make a concious effort to "soften my face" ie. use lighter coloured make-up, smile more, don't glare at people, i've found that people seem friendlier to me.

 

[littl3misstrange]

I pretty much never smile at people or even to myself in public. There just doesn't seem to be all that much to smile about, & I've never been good at faking my emotions.

In fact, more than one of my teachers has come up to me & asked me if i was "alright." I wasn't feeling particularly down at the time, so I guess my usual expression just gives people the impression that I'm really unhappy.
...which I am.

 

[chris87]

If someone smiles at me, I might smile back.

 

[Ventrilo]

i forgot how to smile so even if someone could i'd figure it's cause they secretly hate me