do you have a 'life'?
- Thread starter bsammy
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fitftw
Well-known member
I am a recluse, a hermit, and my girlfriend is close to leaving me because I never take her anywhere. I am content in my room on the internet, playing videogames, watching TV, etc but she has a problem with it and gets upset and angry with me because she's bored. I don't like to go places anymore.
The only time I go out is for work... otherwise I'm pretty much a recluse. I work around 60 hours a week between 2 jobs and don't have time for much else, even if I knew how to be "social." It completely sucks.
im quickly becoming a total hermit guys.these days i dont even see the point in talking to my neighbors unless its something important.i dont even know how you maintained a relationship with a woman fiftw with this disorder.i rarely want to do anything but surf the net, run, and play videogames.you guys content with this sort of life?im not really but seem unable to change.
Invisibleman
Well-known member
My life is so mundane and monotonous that everything starts to blur together,I literally never even know what day of the week it is or what month.
CJW
Member
Dead
I do not have a life in the slightest. I'm really tired of doing nothing all day...
I do not have a life in the slightest. I'm really tired of doing nothing all day...
maybmental2
Active member
Wow you have a girlfriend? I don't mean to skoff sorry. In answer to "Do you have a life" Not really I pretend I do but I just go through the motions. I also lie! To myself a lot but I am bound and determand to have a life before I die!
maybmental2
Active member
I actually hear a lot of this kind of thing but I don't think it's only SA sufferers that have this type of problem, I think a lot of people have this same kind of life and trick themselves into believing it's what life is suposed to be and we see people going about their lives busy busy busy and think hey I want that. For me it's just being able to carry on a conversation without the uncomfortable silences.
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
hmmm...
I have no job, no hopes or dreams, I may leave the house once a week to see a doctor or a therapist... I eat most days... maybe shower once every three if I feel the need.
I sleep alot or lay in bed staring at the ceiling, or listening to the drug dealer neighbor through the paper thin walls.
I don't know anyone in town - closest person I know is 2 hours away.
My only friend is my mom and she's not around most of the time.
Am I happy?
No.
But I also don't care that I don't have a life, because I'm depressed.
It's hard to truly care about anything.
I know I should care, but I only care that I don't care because I think it would be more normal to care.
If I could think of a goal, maybe I could work towards something... but for now, I'll be agoraphobic and alone.
So, no life.
No big deal.
I have no job, no hopes or dreams, I may leave the house once a week to see a doctor or a therapist... I eat most days... maybe shower once every three if I feel the need.
I sleep alot or lay in bed staring at the ceiling, or listening to the drug dealer neighbor through the paper thin walls.
I don't know anyone in town - closest person I know is 2 hours away.
My only friend is my mom and she's not around most of the time.
Am I happy?
No.
But I also don't care that I don't have a life, because I'm depressed.
It's hard to truly care about anything.
I know I should care, but I only care that I don't care because I think it would be more normal to care.
If I could think of a goal, maybe I could work towards something... but for now, I'll be agoraphobic and alone.
So, no life.
No big deal.
eatamoose372
Active member
Nope, only time I'm not home is when I'm at work and that's for only 10 hrs a week...
I absolutely hate my current lifestyle! I always tell myself I'm going to do something about it and change it for the better by getting out more, making new friends, etc.. buttttt yeah, that never happens
I absolutely hate my current lifestyle! I always tell myself I'm going to do something about it and change it for the better by getting out more, making new friends, etc.. buttttt yeah, that never happens
MrJones
Well-known member
I do the same things everyday. For years I haven't done anything out of my stupid routine, with no social life at all, as I have no friends. I am not happy. When I go out it's only because I must and I come back home as soon as I can. I don't like to go outside. I don't like to see happy people, as mean as it may sound, because it makes me even more depressed.
MercySparx
Well-known member
Over the years I've learned how to maintain a decent social life. I try to see my friends every weekend, it usually is only about 2-3 times a month. Luckily my family is really tight and I spend most of my socializing time with them. With finding a group, its really about trial and error. I have been friends with the WORST people, my taste in friends is almost as bad as my taste in men. You need to put the time in to develope solid relationships, and that means stepping out of your comfort zone once in a while. Although, Alchohol can really help with that. I like to drink.
MercySparx
Well-known member
Hermitism is addictive and ultimately damaging. Its good to have a responsibility that gets you out of the house everyday, like a job or school. Correspondence was the WORST thing for me, I excelled scholastically(I hope thats a word) but it hurt me emotionally.
BlueDays
1
I am being forced to do some volunteer work next year, because I have not been able to find work yet. I am dreading it as I almost have panic attacks when I have to start something new and meet new people. I am at my most healthiest when I can stay in my house.
MercySparx
Well-known member
Maybe in the short term, but how are you supposed to get better if you don't try? Social Phobia and Anxiety isn't a life sentence.
^^how much 'better' can we get though?i have found that even after learning social skills and forcing myself out into social situations, the best i can do for the most part is simply tolerate social events better.i still dont enjoy social gatherings much at all.i can 'blend in' better at social events, pretend im normal.the problem is though, this takes alot of energy and effort and leaves me exhausted for awhile afterwards..also, these social gatherings also give me a nasty reality check in that i realize how different i am from most people when it comes to socializing, their busy lives etc etc..i have not much of a life so i have to embellish things and it gets old.so, in a way forcing myself out socially helps in a way and backfires in other ways.
bluedays-yes im the same way.when i try to do other things, its because i was invited by someone else.left to my own devices, you give me a weekend to kill with doing whatever it is i want, and i will not know what to do!its like in many cases i dont know how to live a normal life.
theres no doubt evn extroverts get stuck in boring lives but at least in their case they have alot of wiggle room..in an avoidants case, we live almost in a prison cell of our own mind..we are handicapped in ways normnal people cannot imagine.
bluedays-yes im the same way.when i try to do other things, its because i was invited by someone else.left to my own devices, you give me a weekend to kill with doing whatever it is i want, and i will not know what to do!its like in many cases i dont know how to live a normal life.
theres no doubt evn extroverts get stuck in boring lives but at least in their case they have alot of wiggle room..in an avoidants case, we live almost in a prison cell of our own mind..we are handicapped in ways normnal people cannot imagine.