Avpd people long for the closeness of someone.
Avpd people need to mentally know that the'll be liked before any contact.
You'll have to make him/her feel good about themselves, so you'll have to make the first move.
This could work for you build up the friendship and go from there.
While your making the first move think about how you're making yourself stronger than the disorder.
We have two thought processes- ours and the disorder- but we choose the listen accordindly to the disorder.
This excitment is making you think of him/her- your not being controlled by the disorder this time, but the attraction of the opposite sex.
So many things resinate with me from your reply bcuz i see this everyday!!!!!!
He tries, he hides, he gets close to me (as close as he can be) then keeps a safe distance again, then he comes back around again and does something to make me feel he's trying to push through...then he's terrified bcuz he literally puts himself wherever i am and looks like he's ''ready'' to do something..but then
can not make a solid move out of fear and then he retreats until the next day..then comes back around, etc.
I even let him know how i felt for him by giving him cards (where i let him know) baked cookies, etc. it gets difficult though bcuz he could never respod appropriately and tell me how he feels instead he'd flip out and then come back around and really TRY to show me he feels something!!!!!!!!
Grrrrrrr its sooooooo frustrating and very sad
for me bcuz i see his anxiety and his overwhelming fear but yet i see he wants something from me...and i hear the **sigh** literally when he walks by me with his head down. Eye cintact is better..he can look at me now for a longer period of time..he use to look down at the ground or fidget and look up, down, etc.
Its very difficult especially bcuz he doesn't ever go away..he still hangs in there and tries and tries and tries..wether its to say hello or good morning everyday (he initiates this) shows up or ''plants himself''
where ever i am in the building (places he doesn't need to be) or just plain STARES
from afar and can do this for 10 to 15 minutes at a time!!!!!!
He will also jump at the chance to do things fo rme if i need help. If i ask for something he goes beyond the call of duty (he's in maenyenance) he isn't like that with others in the building..sometime she's a real smart azzzz..but NEVER WITH ME! He's extremely self conscious around me, i hate it!!!!!!!
By the way i am the ONLY person he does these things with. He is totatlly fine with everyone else in our building; women, men, children--i work in daycare. And he is actually very funny, silly and talkative with the rest of the world..lol..around me he has tunnel vision! I really feel for him its a raw situiation somedays for both of us.
