Do people feel happy when you fail AGAIN?

[Klaus]

I was remembering when I first told my parents that I was going to quit University and my job, because I had mental problems, and they started to cry, my mum was somehow desperate!

But my sister's humor improved a lot that day, she started to behave like a "superior" kind of daughter. And when we fought months later, she told me that I was a sick person and I was ruined in my life, and that I had to go to a mental Institution.
That happened some years ago, and I told her: "I hate you and I willl never speak with you again". And I never spoke with her again until today.

But the thing is, she can't hidde the fact that she is happy with my misfortunes, when people ask something about my job or career, she just stops talking and starts to stare me, waiting for my answer. And if my answer proves what a loser I am, she just gives a grin for me.

That gives me strenght to keep fighting, but it's sick how low people can go to feel superior to someone. Even if it's your own blood!

Have you ever noticed this kind of pattern from people?

I know I talk to much about my personal problems, if you are tired of my threads just ignore this.

 

[Mickery]

It sounds like she has issues of her own.

 

[Kinetik]

No, but then I have a supportive family and there's a lot of respect back and forth between me and them.

Maybe you should think about the dynamics in your own family and see if you can mend some of the damage that's been done. I mean, you can play the no-speaking game with your sister if you want, but she'll still always be your sister. Life's too short. Build some of those bridges between you and your family again and you'll have much more support in your day to day life. That's a much better kind of strength to build upon (as opposed to one-upping each other).

 

[IGotSeoul]

It sounds like she has issues of her own.

this, and honestly, no. if I come across people like her, family or not, I generally disregard them completely due to their incompetence and inability to apprehend that there are quite a few people outside of their own social construct.

if they are going to behave like that, I wouldn't want them on my mind anyway, you know?

 

[Mickery]

this, and honestly, no. if I come across people like her, family or not, I generally disregard them completely due to their incompetence and inability to apprehend that there are quite a few people outside of their own social construct.

if they are going to behave like that, I wouldn't want them on my mind anyway, you know?

Isn't it a bit tricky to say that? I'm sure a great many people find those with SA to be rude, aloof, arrogant and any number of things. If one is to expect respect and understanding of one's own behavior, surely the same must be given in return.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

if they are going to behave like that, I wouldn't want them on my mind anyway, you know?

I agree. I have a brother who was just awful to me my entire life that I had to live with him. I gave him several second chances after that, on the odd chance he might show some regret or miraculously become a different person. He didn't. I haven't spoken to him in many years. I am much happier without him in my life and have never regretted kicking him out of it for an instant.

It gives them something to gossip about, a reason to gloat, and makes them feel more dominant over you. A lot of people that have tried to help me in the past with certain things only did so because it demonstrated their superiority over me and my dependence on them. So even then, while others thought they were great people, they were really just stroking their own egos. I don't think it's possible to have a very small core selection of good people our lives. It's why I stressed a few times with some people here not to give up on certain friendships. A goof friend is exceptionally rare.

I have also had people 'try to help' me, only to eventually realize that all they were really doing was exactly what you described--it's not a happy realization. It's definitely not helpful, either. Good friends are indeed to be cherished.

 

[IGotSeoul]

Isn't it a bit tricky to say that? I'm sure a great many people find those with SA to be rude, aloof, arrogant and any number of things. If one is to expect respect and understanding of one's own behavior, surely the same must be given in return.

yeah, it's tricky. my SA will go as far as coming across disconnected and unconcerned, but it has never led me to terrorize anybody for being different. I just strongly oppose those who acknowledge difference, fear it, and attack it. or those who're unable to process that there are people who operate differently.

 

[Nanita]

I noticed people usually get sad and dissapointed when I tell them how I´m having a hard time living. They don´t think it´s really possible to be so miserable and they start cheering up or giving advices.

 

[djkghigh]

i more notice ppl's egos when they think of themselves as more intelligent than I or anyone else in the room

i belief in themselves as being superior or invincible in some strange cases and that behavior is just sad

 

[Hellhound]

She doesn't sound like she's a very happy person, otherwise she would not enjoy your suffering. Sounds like she might be envious of you succeeding.

 

[Jimsie]

Yeah, Ive noticed this kind of thing from people many times before. As soon as you show any weakness its like some natural instinct to either consciously or unconsciously use it against you.

Although Ive found that many people behave in this way, I still can't understand why. That is the last thing I would do if someone told me about a problem they have.

Like when I was younger and told some people (adults) that was being bullied, they started disrespecting me a lot more like doing whatever they can to gang up on me or make me feel worse. Same in the ways that people will act negatively towards or talk negatively about someone who is unhappy. ("cheer up you miserable sod" etc.) Its the equivalent of kicking someone when their down but somehow it seems completely acceptable and normal to do so.

I suppose the answer is to only show weaknesses to people you can really trust to help you and maybe one day more can be done about the stigma around mental illness.