Do girls with SA not like guys with SA?

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Zooman

Well-known member
Just wondering cuz i know that girls usually like dominant males and are pickier while guys for the most part don't care if a female is shy or not (it can actually be a turn on) and are for the most part not too picky. Don't deny this is the majority because it definitely is. Anyways, i just wonder if the majority of SA girls even like guys with SA or if the guys still don't have a chance? Would most girls with SA rather be lonely than be with a guy with SA? I know as a guy i'd rather have a girl than be lonely any day, in fact i'd rather be with a girl who also has SA. Anyways idk if that is a mutual feeling from the opposite sex though, so thought i'd ask.
 
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Sacrament

Well-known member
Depends on a lot of things, such as the level of SA, the point to which the guy's SA makes him bitter and very negative, how strong he is in the face of SA (if he challenges himself, is brave, does his best to strive), etc. SA is not something that excludes a person or group from dating.
 

SCP-087-1

Well-known member
I'm not a chick so I can't give you their point of view but the only time I've been successful with women is when I hid this part of me, faked confidence, and pretended to be a well adjusted human being. Then I slowly let them in on it.

I've found most women don't like you if they think there is something wrong with you. Don't blame them. It's probably a subconscious thing

But one thing I noticed. Fake confidence slowly translates to real confidence. I just need to keep faking and stop becoming complacent.
 
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nicole1

Well-known member
I don't really. Some people like opposites to who they are. I see guys with SA more as friends and people who understand. Guys with out it will challenge me and be adventurous. However, preferences aren't always set in stone for me. It's just about meeting the right person and at different times I want to try different things.
 

AtTheGates

Banned
I wouldnt bet on it.



but i pretty much NEVER tell anyone that i have problems with anxiety....a guy having those kind of problems is often seen as weakness....hell, i'd much rather people just think im a stand-offish **** than a guy with SA.


and if other GUYS suspect that you have anxiety issues, dont expect them to go easy on you..they WONT...especially when it comes to getting girls.


thats why you have to hide it.
 
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AGR

Well-known member
People are like wolves waiting for a sign of weakness so they can attack you and climb the social ladder so they can have more girls and more resources,so yeah I wouldnt expect an unconfident male to have much sucess,unless he was really atractive,had wealth or good social skills,which most of us arent/havent got that.
 
People with SA are still people. So there is potential for two people with SA to enjoy each other company. It all depends on whether or not personalities click. So yes, don't see why a girl with SA wouldn't like a guy with SA.
 

AtTheGates

Banned
People are like wolves waiting for a sign of weakness so they can attack you and climb the social ladder so they can have more girls and more resources,so yeah I wouldnt expect an unconfident male to have much sucess,unless he was really atractive,had wealth or good social skills,which most of us arent/havent got that.

^pretty much. Thats why im trying to figure out ways to make more money ....because im pretty much screwed in other aspects of attraction.
 
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nodejesque

Well-known member
I am a woman, pretty shy and introverted.

Personally, I'd want someone whom was also introverted.. And wouldn't have a problem with staying home alot of the time.


Being quiet, shy, or having SA is not a determining factor for me. Saying that most women like a certain type of male is a stereotype.
 

Zooman

Well-known member
To respond to the people asking me how i know this or that i'm sterotyping...I was expecting the backlash tbh, but that still doesn't make me wrong. I've lived on this planet long enough and i'm not a moron. I feel like anyone who disagrees with this has to be completely delusional. Normal women are easily more picky than men and without a doubt don't like shy guys 99.99% of the time. I just wanted to see if SA girls might be an exception.
 
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TheNomad

Well-known member
Women are naturally more picky than men, but many manage choosing wrong people, weirdly (I am judging by the results).

From my experience, women do tend to pick what they perceive as dominant man, or at least confident men, fortunately for men that can be faked with success. What comes also weird to me is they look for confidence but not so much if he has something to be confident about. Maybe they see something I do not, but I doubt in some cases. In some ways, it is like men getting blinded by physical beauty.

As always there will be exceptions.
 

Xervello

Well-known member
I'm a guy, and I don't claim to speak for women, but I think most people are attracted to others who are confident in their own skin. When someone is comfortable in their own skin and allow themselves to be themselves around others, that can be just as much a turn on as machismo and overconfidence. Not everyone is going to like the person you are, but I think both boys and girls respond well to someone comfortable being themself. It draws them in.

If I were you, I'd focus on working how better to be yourself when chatting, speaking, being around others, rather than trying to figure out what everyone else wants and having to adapt to that. If you try pretending to be something else, you'll never attract the kind of people who would like you for you.
 
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SCP-087-1

Well-known member
Women are naturally more picky than men, but many manage choosing wrong people.

This is something I see a lot of on the internet. Guys saying that girls are choosing the wrong guys. But that's all a part of dating. You can't just look at someone and tell if they're the right person. You find someone you like, get to know them better, find out if they are the right person, then either move on or stick with it. You have to be very lucky to find the right person the first time around. Or someone who can put up with a lot of sh*t

And it's all relative. What you consider to be wrong is different to what others consider to be wrong.

My ex gfs were wrong for me but I didn't know until after dating them
 

TheNomad

Well-known member
This is something I see a lot of on the internet. Guys saying that girls are choosing the wrong guys. But that's all a part of dating. You can't just look at someone and tell if they're the right person. You find someone you like, get to know them better, find out if they are the right person, then either move on or stick with it. You have to be very lucky to find the right person the first time around. Or someone who can put up with a lot of sh*t

And it's all relative. What you consider to be wrong is different to what others consider to be wrong.

My ex gfs were wrong for me but I didn't know until after dating them

No, wrong here is not according to me. As I said I am judging by the results. It's not like they say otherwise. If I said it before, then you would be right.

Anyway, you are right about it being a process. But nevertheless, they ARE more picky than men, and the rates of ending bad is similar. Guys choose the wrong girls many times, girls write about guys choosing the wrong girls, that is also correct.
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
I am not a woman so I can't say from their point of view. I also have autism so this whole dating thing is still very new and I'm still learning. I've been in 4 relationships, I got into all of them when I shown confidence and humor. I eventually mess it up by showing them my depressed side and eventually they push me away. But I also believe I just haven't found the right person yet, because most of those girls liked going out, unlike me. Hell the last one even had a kid. I know there are girls who like introverts, it's just you need to find them.
 

Zooman

Well-known member
I'm a guy, and I don't claim to speak for women, but I think most people are attracted to others who are confident in their own skin. When someone is comfortable in their own skin and allow themselves to be themselves around others, that can be just as much a turn on as machismo and overconfidence. Not everyone is going to like the person you are, but I think both boys and girls respond well to someone comfortable being themself. It draws them in.

If I were you, I'd focus on working how better to be yourself when chatting, speaking, being around others, rather than trying to figure out what everyone else wants and having to adapt to that. If you try pretending to be something else, you'll never attract the kind of people who would like you for you.

You should have just said "I'm a guy and i don't claim to speak for women, but i'm going to speak for women anyways". In regards to your advice, stick to the topic. I don't want to be mean xervello, but i never asked for your damn advice.
 
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To respond to the people asking me how i know this or that i'm sterotyping...I was expecting the backlash tbh, but that still doesn't make me wrong. I've lived on this planet long enough and i'm not a moron. I feel like anyone who disagrees with this has to be completely delusional. Normal women are easily more picky than men and without a doubt don't like shy guys 99.99% of the time. I just wanted to see if SA girls might be an exception.

There will always be people who try to deny it, but this is the absolute truth. If you really believe the opposite, then as Zooman said, you're just delusional. That doesn't mean people won't lower their standards just so they won't have to try as hard or because they have such a negative self image. In that case, sure maybe a girl will go for you if you portray strong anxiety traits.

Saying that, I don't think SA is the thing that would be pushing them away, but rather the fact that you, as a guy, can't handle yourself and become something that would attract a girl.

I think the same things go for women though. As a person in general, being a walking sack of nerves is going to alienate people.
 

Zooman

Well-known member
There will always be people who try to deny it, but this is the absolute truth. If you really believe the opposite, then as Zooman said, you're just delusional. That doesn't mean people won't lower their standards just so they won't have to try as hard or because they have such a negative self image. In that case, sure maybe a girl will go for you if you portray strong anxiety traits.

Saying that, I don't think SA is the thing that would be pushing them away, but rather the fact that you, as a guy, can't handle yourself and become something that would attract a girl.

I think the same things go for women though. As a person in general, being a walking sack of nerves is going to alienate people.

I.e. SA guys and girls should stop being so damn picky and just get with each other already. We are the only ones who understand what it is like, and plus i think the anxiety wuld be less when you know the other person has the same troubles. Personally i find shy girls attractive too, so it wouldn't bother me at all. P.S. I culd be wrong, but i don't think normal girls really put that much thought into why they don't like someone. In their head it is most likely "i just don't".
 
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