Do compliments/appraisal make you shy?

[lifeasitcouldbe]

I feel very uncomfortable when people compliment me. I'd much prefer they would criticize me, really. I guess when somebody has a good opinion of me it makes me fear that I will disappoint them and very nervous, so I usually do end up disappointing them because I'm paralyzed with fear that I will.

 

[lifeasitcouldbe]

Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, and sorry I'm posting too many threads even though I've just registered. It's just I haven't really talked to people honestly, even online, in a long, long time.

 

[carecrab]

i have the same thing, with me it's because i'm not used to getting attention and when i do it feels weird/uncomfortable.

I know what you mean though if someone thinks low of you, you can prove yourself but the other way around it doesn't work that well, it's easier to disappoint.

However you need to stop focusing on others, and look at yourself.
Who are you going to disappoint? It's your life isn't it? Wouldn't you rather be happy with for example your choice of study then the study your parents want you to do?
Maybe you will disappoint them but it's better then to be someone you're not.


well that's my opinion anyway

And the threadthing doesn't matter really

 

[Falkor]

I turn red and I feel uncomfortable, but I am grateful just because I hear someone found a positive aspect about me, that makes me happy, because it's hard to see it myself. But, I get very uncomfortable, too.
because I respond like, ''Really, i thought it was awful'' or something like that. I'm so neggative about myself, but I know it is easier to be positive about other's, because you see them every day or in another way, i have it too

 

[ilovenoodles]

Yes it does, i'm not used to get compliments. Maybe that's why..

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I feel weird about responding to the compliments because I never know what to say, but the compliments themselves don't normally make me anymore nervous than I already am, usually. Unless it's like a rude "compliment" (like being told I have a "nice a$$"). That does make me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

 

[Phoenixx]

Some compliments do make me feel kinda awkward, but I'd rather have those than to be criticized. I never did take criticism well, even if I don't show it.

 

[Mickery]

Not awkward, but I have trouble accepting it and can get pretty tetchy. Like I don't deserve it or it's highlighting something I would prefer left alone. Obnoxious behaviour to say the least.

 

[FalseAlarm]

Yeah definitely, I always blush.

 

[EnigmatiConduit]

It depends what kind of compliment it is... or what you consider a compliment. The douchey guy comments just annoy me, but genuine comments i'm not sure how to take really.

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, I can flip out a bit too... Especially if I don't know how to take it... Or if I feel it might come with too much expectations...

People can have a very good opinion of me and I know my flaws fully... So it depends if they praise me on something I think is 'realistic' and 'true' or something that might be unrealistic or not true to my perception... I am not perfect (though I can usually laugh about it later or at least grin/roll eyes/commiserate...)

Criticism is much harder, yeah... depends how it's done too... Diplomatically and with understanding or not...

There is an art to giving compliments and praise - to make it descriptive and not 'absolute'... Books are written about this so it's not surprising many people don't know how to do it well...

'Thank you' is best response really... (for both) Sometimes it's easier than other times...

 

[Noop]

if someone compliments me, i don't believe it to be honest and just shrug it off soon as. i'm used to you're rubbish and thick and people are better then you at what you do.

 

[Mickery]

I used to do that, until someone pointed out how arrogant it is to tell people what they should think. If someone believes that you're good at something, or attractive, or whatever else, then it's no business of yours to tell them otherwise.

This helped me to accept compliments with a little better grace. I still don't absorb them, but that's a challenge for another day.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

ahh--- I usually have that 'deer in the headlights' expression and then I just awkwardly say; "Thanks."
I used to try and argue it but I decided it's rude to not just accept a compliment-- whether you believe it's true or not.

I don't feel any better about myself no matter how many compliments I receive or who I receive them from. My ex always hated that about me- it annoyed him alot. Didn't like that I could not see my own value.

I think that complimenting someone can be a very good thing. Especially if someone is having a bad day- hearing something nice for a change can really perk them up. Everyone sees themselves differently than a pair of outside eyes does.

 

[Richey]

i never get compliments so i don't know how to answer that personally speaking. i mostly get criticised about things. people seem to emphasise the negatives more then positives.

 

[upndwn]

Getting compliments is definitely something I have had to get used to. I used to hate it as it made me feel like the center of attention, and with SA that's the last thing you want. Eventually, as my SA has gotten better I've become much more adjusted to receiving compliments. Nowadays I'm humble but respectfully thankful.