Cured myself completely!

[Jared]

This concept of curing one's self completely I know is real and can be obtained. I just haven't been able to get there left to my own devices. The strange thing is that I really believe I will someday, or at least that I am smart enough to do it. But it seems like I can feel like that only when I'm alone and meditating or excersizing. I can never ever retain those pleasurable feelings of being one with everything because the instant smack of a social sitation creeps up on me and chokes my mind before I even have a chance, and the cycle we all know and hate continues. This is why I know my fears are not rational but simply reactions i've learned and been conditioned to exhibit.

Monkey dude who started this thread, if you would: State what was wrong with you in the first place all your "miserable 19 years" and what you believed that made you feel that way, and then what exactly you believe now that permits you to live so freely.

My problem seems to lie in being unable to understand and befriend myself without my hatred of being part of the human condition, and what did one other guy say - a replicating dna strand on a rock? - and confined to this prison of being unable to think with or comprehend the abstract of true reality. I hate myself, cause I hate others. Stuck in a bacterium who can't do anything that doesn't revolve around eating, sleeping, shitting, f**king.

I think the wolrd and Universe and the fact there is ANYTHING at all anywhere, when the thought of pure nothing is so much neater, is beautiful in and of itself. I jus hate my vantage point from which I experience it. What people do and how they live is trivial in the grand scheme of things, and maybe why I feel I am so trivial. And hence, my hell with anxiety.

What to do?

*** Hey I just did some thinking and it seems correct to state that all hatred is based on some sort of fear. So I guess maybe I'm just afraid of everything around me..........why cause I can't put a nice little label on the Universe that states the contents and that has directions for use, like on a bottle of meds? I always feel like I have no direction in life, i'm just HERE. I hate not being able to understand everything! Well, I'm AAFRAID because I can't, to say it proper. What does this even mean? I don't even understand..I want to know things it's impossible to comprehend..I'm like a control freak without arms or legs or even a voice to command with! Imagine that scene for a second, that person would be miserable. Wow...I think I figured some major shit out right now.
This makes sense. I've been completely removed from my family and in every way including communication because I would not conform to to their wacko christian cult lifestyles. I always, to this day, dream I'll find a way of proving to them how blind their faith is. So I embrace scienctific knowledge and awareness. Of ocurse, I know faith wihtout proof in benevolant space beings in the cosmos people always want to call God is often a symptom of a myriad problems, like stupidity, and can't be conquered with rational thought...so why have i clung to that hope? I always say I hate my family...so that means I'm AFRAQID of my family...which means I am probably afraid of them because I AM them, genetically and many mannerisms. So I am afraid that I am like them...blind and wasting life.

I think I figured out my problems. Sorry to treat this like a blog guys. I'mm off to meditate. WOW!

 

[Infected_Malignity]

ahh cant wait to feel like that...i really do think i can do it as of late i keep getting more positive!

you just brought up a really good point. i've been wanting to make an update to this thread for a couple of days now but hadn't had the time.

if you can't relax, that's ok! i finally realized what made my formula work aside from just relaxing. you gotta be able to laugh, at any given moment. somehow it takes the edge off to know you're not stuck feeling the way you're feeling. if you feel really self conscious sometimes you just need to laugh at yourself/something stupid just to change your attitude... even if it's only a slight change. small changes means we're getting somewhere, and that beats no changes! you're not meant to take your life as seriously as most people here do. that's anxiety trap #1 and if you can get rid of it, you're going to relax all on your own.

most of you will get out of this trap just fine. there's no such thing as social anxiety (aka fear of rejection) when you've got the ability to laugh at yourself, and more importantly laugh at yourself SOCIALLY!

 

[PunkRotten]

You may feel better but you are not cured. Social anxiety doesnt cure. There will be times you will get anxious and freeze up, this is natural. Anxiety/nervousness is natural feeling and is always with us. Social phobia on the other hand is when its out of hand and all the time. So you can never be fearless or never nervous again. Its just not possible. I think people think too high like they have to be fearless, this is not required. You wanna be cured? Stop staying home and dreaming about things, you cant think, you have to act. You arent gonna get friends or all the things you want sitting in a room wishing about them. Do any of you know what is social phobia? Do you know how the mind or body is affected? If you understand this you will be better off in getting relief from it.

It takes practice to be social. Even if you manage to be comfortable in some situations, it doesnt mean you will always be that way. Anxiety/nervousness/fear is part of life.

 

[mismeek]

Congrats!!!

 

[meatcake]

Yeah congrats, that is awesome! I'm gonna have to add these things to my list of things to try...

• i just get absorbed in relaxation. i used to feel so tense all the time until i actually set time aside specifically for relaxation.
• i also quit caffeine (for the time being) because i knew this was making me all shaken up on the inside.
• it probably took me a good 8 consecutive months of chipping away slowly and slowly at pushing myself into the real world.
• i also realized that assholes don't mean to be assholes and getting your feelings hurt in a social situation really doesn't end your life! it's half in the body (breathing, etc) and half in the mind, being able to clear the clouding and shrug shit off.
• i really just accepted being sensitive and always caring for people, even if they don't always feel compassion for me.
• you gotta be able to laugh, at any given moment. somehow it takes the edge off to know you're not stuck feeling the way you're feeling. if you feel really self conscious sometimes you just need to laugh at yourself/something stupid just to change your attitude... there's no such thing as social anxiety (aka fear of rejection) when you've got the ability to laugh at yourself, and more importantly laugh at yourself SOCIALLY!

 

[Nicholas]

if you feel really self conscious sometimes you just need to laugh at yourself/something stupid just to change your attitude... even if it's only a slight change. small changes means we're getting somewhere, and that beats no changes! you're not meant to take your life as seriously as most people here do. that's anxiety trap #1 and if you can get rid of it, you're going to relax all on your own.

Congratulations Infected. I wish one day I'll make it as well, and I want that day to be soon. I am focusing on getting well right now, and that thing you said struck me. I have thought about your post for more than half an hour, I think, and I realized that might be one of the most important things I have noticed so far. That might be the key, I don't know.

You say "Don't take your life too seriously, just laugh."
I took that to mean "Don't be afraid of making mistakes, don't take your mistakes too seriously. It's ok to make mistakes".
I then changed that to "Making mistakes doesn't make you a loser."

Which is true. Making mistakes doesn't make you a loser. Being intimidated by your own mistakes does. If you keep falling down but you get up again, you are not a loser, no matter how many times you fall. Losers are the ones who refuse to get up.

Of course as always I am good at giving advice, but bad at following it. But I am tired of being a loser, so I will try to keep this in mind and the next time I am afraid to make a mistake, or I make one, I'll try to think "It's no big deal! I will move on, because I am tired of choosing to be a loser".

 

[litewood1]

how did you do it?we'd all like to know.maybe you'll help someone.

 

[ChelleBelle89]

your story is a true inspiration to me. like you, I am a 19 y/o who is struggling with my career and social life. i feel sometimes that there is no hope for me because i have always been an introverted type of person, but i really really wanna change because i know that i can be so much of a better person. i just got married 2 years ago so my hubby and i don't have alot of money to spend on therapy sessions and stuff. i find myself tense alot as well because i can't 'focus' in social situations because I "feel" like someone's watching me.

Maybe practicing relaxation techniques will help me, but i'm not sure because i work in a highly-stressed area all day...what else do you recommend?

Thanxs in advance!

 

[ChelleBelle89]

there's no such thing as social anxiety (aka fear of rejection) when you've got the ability to laugh at yourself, and more importantly laugh at yourself SOCIALLY!

OMG, this happens to work for me!! I am so LAME when I think about it...lol::


Thanxs for your advice Infected_Malignity!!

 

[Argamemnon]

most of you will get out of this trap just fine. there's no such thing as social anxiety (aka fear of rejection) when you've got the ability to laugh at yourself, and more importantly laugh at yourself SOCIALLY!

I can't "laugh" at myself when I feel horribly anxious. I just want to die at those moments.

 

[Infected_Malignity]

OMG, this happens to work for me!! I am so LAME when I think about it...lol


Thanxs for your advice Infected_Malignity!!

Hahaha see what i mean? the most important part is to get as lame as you can. you might even experience a longlasting giggle fit over nothing. this also helps for depression which i think is totally connected with social anxiety... otherwise you'd just be giddy about the anxiety, never DOWN about it

as for the people who keep asking me 'how i did it' and we're on page 3 of me explaining how i did it makes little/no sense to me. watch a comedy video and see just what i mean!!

 

[trendline]

Thanks Infected_Malignity. I just started doing Dr Richard's course and it has a relaxation method. I was actually thinking about skipping that section because it sounded stupid and useless at the time. I am now going to seriously go over his relaxation tape because of you. thanks from the heart. Good luck with your new life.

 

[L Hilla]

Well I tried not to read how you got better duded, not because I'm jealous or anything, but I wanted to keep the mystery and find my own way to feel better about myself. Congrats to you though.

It's always nice to see that you can find your way out, even if things seem so bad. And I'm not gonna believe that I'll deal with this forever; i know it seems pretty real to some, but for me, I just can't believe it. I HAVE to find the confidence to be able to do whatever the heck I want, without anything holding me back. I don't care if I'm not the typical 'normal' person, and what the heck is normal anyway?!?! I hope that for those who seem like they'll never be free, and trapped brick wall and a hard place to just... try a little. I know it seems kinda clique, but plz do try... maybe one day, you'll find smething in yourself that u didn't know u had. Clique too but... that doesn't make it untrue.

 

[Redzer]

best of luck to ya mate, well done.

 

[KevinR]

Laughing at the worrying, the supposed bad symptoms and the supposed horrible impression you're making on other people...

IT IS a good way to see reality in better perspective. A few months back I had the same thing. I had a bad day at work, thinking that I'd made a fool in front of some people. And all of a sudden, it came to me that is was TOTALLY ridiculous. I started laughing and could project that humor on other memories I had on so called humiliating experiences. **** that. Enjoy it even. Since then I've made some big improvements.

Thanks for this positive post, Infected.