Compulsive self-talk

[gustavofring]

Do other people here experience this?

I feel like I am almost always talking to myself when I'm alone. Thinking out loud about things I'm doing, cursing when things go wrong, describing my mood to myself ("oh man I'm so tired" etc.). Even hypothetically having conversations with people in the past or future. Sometimes I do it out loud, sometimes it's just internally. It's usually negative but sometimes I also think of something funny and play it out in my mind, without there actually being a reason for it.

I'm not sure if everyone has this, or wether it's just enlarged by my mental state and loneliness. I feel like it consumes a lot of energy.

I do try to experiment a bit with mindfulness and meditation techniques to snap out of the thoughts and become "clear" but usually the mind becomes bored, it becomes a forced exercise and the compulsive thinking sets in again. It's like a train that comes and doesn't stop. A jitterbrain. It's like I can't just simply be where I am and with my mind at rest with what I am doing. Instead I have to narrate everything in my mind and think of all sorts of situations and things.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

The whole planet does this! Sounds perfectly normal......I do tend to daydream waay too often and at times I feel I'm substituting that for real contact but we all "talk" to ourselves.

 

[jaim38]

One of the "skills" that I'm best at is self-talk! I do this almost everyday. When I lived in the apartments with my brother, I feel so "imprisoned" because my brother refused to talk to me usually and when I do talk out loud, the neighbors think I'm talking to myself and think I'm weird. But now that I'm back at my parents' house, I feel more "free" because I can finally talk out loud w/o people judging me. Talking to myself makes me feel less alone.

This may sound weird, but sometimes, I imagine there are spirits around me who try to wreck havoc, so I feel the need to ask them to stop and explain to them my reasons. I blame them for some bad things that happen in my house. I really don't like doing this, but I need to stop thinking about those spirits first.

Meditation can sometimes help but at other times, my breathing feels so constricted that I just can't meditate.

 

[crazycatlady27]

yeah i do this i walk around my house talking to myself, i do it in the garden i say what i have to do and what i need to do next lol i am lucky though i have animals so people think i am talking to them, although talking to the turkey might be a little men in white coats time !!!!!

 

[recluse]

god yeah i do it. I find when i am anxious especially i do it a lot. Do you remember past conversations, like re live them?

 

[mikebird]

I describe this as thinking

 

[Hoppy]

The very first time I used tranquilisers for my anger was on a Saturday, and that day I didn't talk to myself. I remember it as the most relaxing day for many years.

 

[evz]

i talk to myself constantly, and it's the only time I can form articulate, coherent sentences and not stutter.

 

[this_portrait]

Oh, man, I do this ALL THE TIME. Hell, I've been doing it since I was very small. Sometimes I pace, though I don't do that anywhere near as much as I used to.

 

[dottie]

oh good, after reading this thread i feel 8% less crazy

 

[coyote]

Do other people here experience this?

I feel like I am almost always talking to myself when I'm alone. Thinking out loud about things I'm doing, cursing when things go wrong, describing my mood to myself ("oh man I'm so tired" etc.). Even hypothetically having conversations with people in the past or future. Sometimes I do it out loud, sometimes it's just internally. It's usually negative but sometimes I also think of something funny and play it out in my mind, without there actually being a reason for it.

I'm not sure if everyone has this, or wether it's just enlarged by my mental state and loneliness. I feel like it consumes a lot of energy.

I do try to experiment a bit with mindfulness and meditation techniques to snap out of the thoughts and become "clear" but usually the mind becomes bored, it becomes a forced exercise and the compulsive thinking sets in again. It's like a train that comes and doesn't stop. A jitterbrain. It's like I can't just simply be where I am and with my mind at rest with what I am doing. Instead I have to narrate everything in my mind and think of all sorts of situations and things.

yes, i am very much the same way

however... i have found that the less i do this, the happier, freer, less anxious and depressed i am.

i really believe this phenomenon is at the heart of many of my own difficulties

i also realize that freeing oneself from this prison is not so simple - particularly for a "thinking" person.

it helps me to focus on what i'm doing outside my head, out there in the world, in the present - doing something active is the best: exercise, work, play, art, sex, talking to other people

the more i do that, the more peace i find - even a little each day

 

[awkwardamanda]

My mind just wanders. I think such random things sometimes. I have all sorts of conversations in my mind. Sometimes I mumble a bit while I'm thinking and I'm paranoid that I'm gonna start thinking out loud sometime and say something really weird and embarrassing in front of someone.

 

[mikebird]

I do as well, actually.

When alone, or in the street I talk out loud to go through my thoughts as practice. I hope it doesn't mean schizophrenia.

I get confident getting sentences together, just as I do here, now, but however much I have this ready in my head at home, being around strangers and interviews knock me and I still lack confidence - either too passive or too assertive in my frustration. My home prep makes me look in the mirror a lot, talking, checking appearance - hand gestures do happen in interview. I'll never know exactly how my face looks to others. I consider eye gestures - eyebrows, eyelids open/shut - blinking and broad smiles, which I do for a cat or dog. Maybe I appear quiet / sleepy on the outside, despite my inner motivation and determination - the strangers I'm with control my mood and how I come across. People give up on me and walk away too much. I want to be energetic, but maybe I don't have the personality of an actor they're looking for

 

[imlosingtouch]

I talk to myself all the time, or to my dogs.

 

[aNOTfox]

If I didn't I'd go insane. My cat just sits and stares at me like "wtf?"

 

[laure15]

^same here. The silence can be deafening and I will feel like i'm about to explode if I don't let out my thoughts, at times.

 

[Bert_Stair]

yep. i'm my only friend.