Can you work? How Bad Is Your Social Anxiety

[akala]

No, I'm going to try to somehow beat the SA when it comes to work.
My plan is to start from inside my comfort zone and work my way out... I think I'll begin working with children first, see how that goes, then I'll just work in a place that's a mix of both so I think it might go like this
1. daycare
2. library
3. book keeping
idk I hope this works

 

[susieq]

i have worked for 10 yrs in a job that involves a lot of customer interaction. since i was very young people have been telling me that if i get on with life and keep facing the fears i have my anxiety will improve. in all these years i have to say it hasnt gotten any better. yes i can work, but every day is a battle against the anxiety. it is a constant struggle that is relentless and very draining. i dont have friends because after each day at work, i cannot face any more people. some days i arrive home from work and cry for an hour before i can do anything, its like all the emotional stress i am under trying to hide my anxiety all day just comes out at once when i am safe at home. i now suspect i have depression too as a result of spending so much of my time doing the thing i fear and hate most (interacting with strangers/customers who have expectations of me) I spend my nights worrying about the next day and my days counting the minutes until it is over. what kind of life is this? so is it really a bad thing to stay home and spend time alone? is it so bad that people think you are weird? the alternative is to torment yourself trying to be "normal"

 

[lalahdaisys]

Times running out for me...

Soon i have to decide what university i will go to...
But i dunno if i can take it...
I always been a loner & different from the rest of the "standard"...
I was born & raised in the uk till age 12 then we moved to my moms country. From there i was bullied & homeschooled & just locked up my entire existance homebound...
Being a only child who was mushed up by her grandparents is hard...
I feel that if i had never grown up with my grandparents i wouldnt be as weak as i am socially.
They had always been "Over protective" & one thing i hate that they did was make life sound so easy...
They would also warn me not to mix with people or select the ones i should mix with.
During the homebound years i thought of suicide a few attempts too...
I often wonder what my existance is on this cruel planet...
I always dream of me with a Job & a family of my own but the shadow is there blocking me from reaching it...
Also i know my parents love me but i feel ashamed im there daughter.
All i have done is give them a pain in life...

I'm glad i found this website & know im not alone.
Bless you all.

 

[Xervello]

I could work if I forced myself to. But not having any schooling, job experience or family/friends who have a job, gives me few options. Plus I'm too much of a coward to try.

It's funny. I think humans are the only species (that I can think of) where Darwinism doesn't always apply. The survival of the fittest, I mean. With most animals, if the weak are unable to take care of themselves, they die. But humans, with our familial compassion and communal safety nets, the weak are allowed to live relatively long lives despite being unable to survive on their own. I'm one of those mooching off of others. Sometimes I wish I'd be allowed/or allowed myself to fail and go away. After years of living with the shame of one's impotence, one begins to long for an end to it.

 

[laure15]

My social anxiety is very bad. If I go through another jury duty, I will have a breakdown and be back to square one.

 

[awkwardamanda]

I can work but I'm having a hell of a time finding a job. I spent eight years working in retail. Most of the time I wasn't exactly anxious but I got really tired of dealing with the public everyday. It was exhausting. You put up with so much crap from people. I had to fake being friendly all the time. Now I'm trying to find something different but my options are seriously limited because I'm trying to avoid anything that involves too much contact with other people. The only experience I have really is retail. I worked a couple of months as a receptionist one summer but I don't want to do that again. I do not want a job that involves being on the phone all day‒especially if I have to make the calls. I can handle a few calls, but that's it. Doing reception, I mostly just answered the phone. Making calls makes me anxious. I feel like the only jobs I'd have shot at are customer service jobs and I don't want those at all. I just want a job where I can do most of my work alone. So there aren't many jobs worth applying for to begin with, but then I'm competing against people with experience so it's a lost cause.:sad:

 

[Falkor]

You're not the only one out there with Severe SA.

I also

-Freak out by a full bus
-I can't go to school, I dropped out again (!)
-I never had a job
-I wish I was more social but am always nervous around people
-Even when walking outside I think all people who cross by see my anxiety
-I can't sit in a waiting line without getting freaked of sitting in front of people
-I can't eat in the train, because all people would see my face eating
-I really hate my social anxiety, it tears my life apart

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

I think I could probably work in most jobs without my SA getting too much in the way, the issue is getting said job as I have 0 friends and networking is so important nowadays.

 

[awkwardamanda]

I think I could probably work in most jobs without my SA getting too much in the way, the issue is getting said job as I have 0 friends and networking is so important nowadays.

Oh, this networking crap is such a piss off!!! You have to have connections to get anywhere in this world. I can't just keep in touch with people in hopes that it will help me find a job. That seems so phoney. I can't even make friends. How the hell am I supposed to network? Most people I know are just acquaintances and I don't really care to get to know them any better.

 

[theoutsider]

I'm still functional at work. I have my good days and bad. I'm fortunate enough that I don't have to interact all that much with anyone on my job if I don't want to so on my bad days, I just keep that to a minimum. I may be viewed by some as anti sociable but it's the only way I can survive. I try to counteract this by making sure I'm nice and polite to everybody.

 

[Labyrinthine]

Oddly, I have no issues working. The jobs I have aren't exactly well paying ones, but they do require quite a bit of costumer interaction. Especially if I want tips. Cant comment on school, since classes for me don't start for four months. I can say i am nervous already.

Buses and trains are a completely different kettle of fish. If I'm alone, I avoid them at all cost. No exceptions.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Can u hold a job or attend school? Do u get nervous on buses and trains/

These are interesting questions.

If you had asked me these questions a couple weeks ago, I would have said my SA was so terrible I would not leave the house on my own, taking the bus just about gave me panic attacks, and working seemed like a pipe dream. Well, all that has changed now. Crazy! I know! I did not think it was possible. Of course, I am utterly exhausted, still trying to adjust to the changes, and sometimes still feel like I am going to get those panic attacks. I have been working for a couple weeks now and take the bus each time. Very early too (night owl here). I've also ventured out on my own and have met up with others. This is all very different from the way my life was. Of course, I still have a lot of anxiety and a lot of the time I wonder if I am going to crack...but I haven't. I just have to trust I will be okay as long as I continue to push forward; these things are hard to do but they have to be done.

(I should add I had a lot of help in all this! And that is the thing: we really can't do this alone. We need others for help and support. It is so important.)

My advice to you guys that feel like you can't work is to push yourself very hard and get out of your comfort zone. You must accept that it's going to be awkward at work and that it's ok because you are strong enough to show up and make your own money.

People like us should be satisfied with just having the courage to work a job and have our own place. I'm almost to where I want to be, living in my own apartment and having enough money to continue to live in that apartment.

Some people may be reading that and be like your dream is to scrape by and live in an apartment with low wage jobs? Well, yes, it is actually. I've been living at my parents' house for years and it's time for me to grow up.

One man's trash is another man's treasure.

Today was a hard day at work, so it helps to read this Because becoming an adult is what I want. I was wondering today what all this work was for.

 

[hap3nes]

My SA is extreme as well, I feel like you, when you say your SA is much worse than everyone elses. I feel that way too. It seems that people just don’t get me. Or that people say they have SA yet have friends and can hold a job. I haven’t worked in seven years and that is not because I don’t want to! Some days my day is spent pacing around with nothing to do and wishing I had something to do or a job to go to, but I will say those days appear less and less. I have my own woodshop now in my garage where I can make things and then my sister (whom I live with and her husband and our mom) has offered to sell the things I make for me cause I am just too scared, anxious, nervous, I have had too many interactions go nowhere with nothing to say with awkward silences, or I just don’t get what the other person is saying. You can’t wish your way through work, “just grin and bear it” attitude, that won’t work but you know yourself and if you can’t really work well then that is where you are right now. I am fortunate enough to be on SSDI, but it ain’t much.
So I pretty much get nervous anywhere I am out in the public’s eye whether that be mowing my own lawn, going to the gym ( which I haven’t been to lately because it has gotten too nerve wracking and even after I thought I was improving) I can’t meet someone else’s gaze because frankly I just don’t know what to do how to respond so I get nervous then you add in my low self esteem and paranoid thinking and it just ain’t pretty. I’m on a cocktail of medications but sometimes that won’t even calm my shaking head and hands. So I pretty much think I can at least respect where you are coming from and might even understand a little, If you want to PM me feel free to. Remember you can’t just wish your anxiety away. I’ve tried. If it is severe enough as you say, I would seek professional help, it has helped me and gotten me out into the community a little. I find that if you can have a purpose in life whatever that might be an interest or hobby and then make that work for you. I am trying to do that with my woodworking, I just am not able to work with other people, but I really enjoy working with wood. I use to be a cabinetmaker for a year anyways…. And when things were better I went to school for woodworking, so I have a degree. Anyhow I am now just rambling on. Life will get better, just hang in there, that is what I am doing. From one SA person to another.


"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves."
~The Buddha

 

[MBinMN]

3 years ago I thought I found the perfect scenario...I work full time from home. Great right? It's a catch 22. I am in my house sometimes several days on end not even leaving to go to grocery store. It has caused me to be used to my safe zone=home.

Prior to this several office jobs throughout the years. I'm very affected by office gossip, meetings with people of authority would cause me to panic, often calling in sick because I just couldn't face the uncomfortable feeling everyday.i feel judged everywhere. Even in my car driving I feel judged by other drivers...I know it's irrational but ??? I also found that I was a target for office bullying..anyone else?

 

[drakir]

i force myself to og to School but.... i frequently have anxiety attacks and panic attacks, and usally leave early or dont show up at all. im also very sensetiv to stress and have hard time focusing, so naturally i dont do very well at School.
really bad self image... hate looking at Pictures of myself, and looking myself in the Mirror. just looking at my shadow can make me lose my self-confidence (not that i really have any self confidence to begin With)

by the way, i even have a little anxiety on the internett, regretting everything i Write. i dont really like social media, and usually avoid it as if it was the pleague. (i use it now so i can get better at socializing)

 

[Tamara89]

I work in hospitality :-S dont ask! I use to work 5 days but now only 2 because of my SA, and I had to leave my college and change to online learning instead cause of panic attacks. I'm also the same as person above ^ on my good days I think I'm reasonably attractive (without being up myself but from what people tell me) but can't stand photos being taken of me and I panic if anyone tries to. I don't like social media at all, deleted my Facebook a long time ago as I would regret everything I say as well no matter how little it is and it would just mess with my head. SA affects EVERY aspect of ones life even your health

 

[Amitush123]

Used to, but now I'm focusing on my studies.
Tried to work at a job I felt I was tricked into..kept saying to myself that it's not fair that I need to burden myself with society's duties while I cannot be accepted as a part of the society..so I left

 

[Lacombe]

I am currently working and I'm pretty lucky. It is very easy to hide in my place of work. However, I do have to use the phone a lot and this can cause me problems. Since my depression came back I've been on auto pilot and keep waiting on being found out. So far so good though.

 

[Zod]

I can, but I work at night, away from most of the pressures and stresses of the day. The sleep rythm is not ideal though, and it causes a lot of fatigue on my days off. It also can get a bit lonely.

There is face to face customer service involved, but I mostly manage. I was unemployed for quite a long time, so I'm just glad to have a job, and am surprised I managed to ride it out for so long. Some nights are pretty bad, but a positive attitude is key I find.

 

[honestjeenn]

I feel my social anxiety is much worse than everyone elses.

I feel my social anxiety is very extreme and I possibly have AVPd

I feel nervous and self conscious even while walking down the street. I cant even maintain a job or go to school because im too nervous and uncomfortable

Can u hold a job or attend school? Do u get nervous on buses and trains/

How bad is your social anxiety because im even nervous around freidns and family sometimes that i've known for years

Same here... Sigh, I want to go out and have a normal life... The last time I ride in a bus, I feel so sick.