Breakup pain, which is worse?

[DevC]

Which is harder, being dumped because they had less feelings for you,

or having to break up because you didn't have the same feelings for them and having to see them really upset.

I just had to do the later, it was hard, but couldn't keep up to the demands of a relationship at this time and felt it would be worse to drag it on if I didn't feel the same way.

Stories please, I might still be in shock.

 

[kristina303]

Definitely being dumped because they had less feelings for you. I'm still getting over a guy I never even met. Just knew him online. First time I ever fell in love with someone over the Internet. And now he doesn't even want to be my friend. I feel bad for dumping someone, but falling in love with someone that doesn't love you back hurts more than anything.

 

[dottie]

#1 will hurt harder and longer. for option #2, although it might be inconvenient and uncomfortable to break up, your feelings are less intense so it's easier and quicker to recover.

 

[DevC]

I was strong when we went through the break-up discussion and I know logicly it was the right thing to do for both of us in the long run, but the guilt/remorse/sadness is still clouding over. Last thing I ever wanted to do was break her heart, but I couldnt continue the way I felt.

 

[InvisaLady]

Definitely being dumped because they had less feelings for you. I'm still getting over a guy I never even met. Just knew him online. First time I ever fell in love with someone over the Internet. And now he doesn't even want to be my friend. I feel bad for dumping someone, but falling in love with someone that doesn't love you back hurts more than anything.

I agree 100% with this.

 

[Hellhound]

Being dumped would hurt more for me.

 

[Emerald_]

That's basically just asking if you find it harder to be rejected or do the rejecting. Whilst it is difficult to break up with someone you no longer care for in that way, you still have some control over the situation and are not being rejected, both of which make it a little more bearable.

 

[jaim38]

Being dumped would be worse for me. On the other hand, if I initiated the breakup, I would have very good reason(s) for doing so and won't feel as hurt.

 

[truffleshuffle]

I agree being the dumped is way harder than being the dumper.

 

[Facethefear]

I was always the dumpee (because it was safer) by making myself unattractive. I never wanted to put myself in a position for revenge from a male.

 

[kilojoule]

#1 will hurt harder and longer. for option #2, although it might be inconvenient and uncomfortable to break up, your feelings are less intense so it's easier and quicker to recover.

Seriously I think I have a bit of a girl crush on Dottie, she just says everything I want to say but better-er.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been on the other side of scenario this month ending a 3 yr thing and well, not fun. I know he feels sh.it rejecting me but it's way sh.itter for me being rejected.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

being dumped because you can't control it

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Both are different kinds of pain, unless you don't care about the feelings of others..., and in that case I hope you're the one dumped! (not you personally, just in general)

I agree with this, but given the choice I would much prefer to be the one being broken up with, rather than the breaker up-er. Like you say, unless you're able to close your mind off to the feelings of the other person then it can be an extremely traumatic experience. ::