Bitter about being unattractive

[BlueDays]

While I'm not disputing this, men can be just as judgmental of people. I think the door swings both ways.

^Exactly.


A male will base his opinion on his experiences as a male.
A female will base her opinion on her experiences as a female.

Neither can say their heavily biased opinion is the correct one.

Both will probably always "assume" that the opposite sex has it "easier" and the grass is greener on the other side.
Neither can convince the other their opinion is true because both sexes have had different experiences. So their opinion will always be different, because they are coming from different sides of the equation!

No man knows what it is like to experience things mentioned in this thread, as a woman.
No woman knows what is like to experience things mentioned in this thread, as a man.

It is sad to read both genders state something about the other sex (in relation to this thread) as a fact.
It's like a person born into poverty (and only lived as a poor person) stating a belief they have about the life of a rich person, as a fact.

 

[MikeyC]

Both will probably always "assume" that the opposite sex has it "easier" and the grass is greener on the other side.

I have always stated that women have it a lot harder than men do.

 

[Kiwong]

There are a lot of women with curves, in real life or on tv/in the media. Curves is having a defintive waist compared to hip, etc. Fat is another story.

I disagree, the way women are portrayed in the media is more often than not inaccurate. The one shape seems to be young, air-brushed and wafer thin. "Fat" is the biggest misrepresentation of all, often fueling the diet industry. Larger women does not equal fat, but larger women are rarely featured in advertising.

 

[Waybuloo]

Not surprising at all.
There was a time in highschool where groups of boys would openly stand in the hallway and rate girl's bodies and faces quite loudly, as we passed.
I would frequently get a 2 or 3 out of 10 - super fun. -__-

Not only was it in the halls at school; but there were 'lists' of 'bang'able girls on myspace; so I heard from other girls. (back in the days before facebook/youtube/texting, ah yes.)

Same shenanigans happened in college but I found that there were both girls and guys who would speak out about things before things got bad- and would put a stop to it.

Anyway... people are equally terrible in my opinion. haha
I expect things like these to happen whether I see it happening or not.

Those boys just seem to me to be badly brought up with no respect for women. They also have terrible manners saying it outloud like that. I'm pretty sure that decreased the chance of them sleeping with the girls.

 

[Waybuloo]

I disagree, the way women are portrayed in the media is more often than not inaccurate. The one shape seems to be young, air-brushed and wafer thin. "Fat" is the biggest misrepresentation of all, often fueling the diet industry. Larger women does not equal fat, but larger women are rarely featured in advertising.

Here in the UK ads feature people of all shapes and sizes, most of them actually average looking. There are celebrities who stay thin then there are those who are more rounded and those inbetween. Even then there is pressure to stay thin. I don't get it. I'm slim but I wouldn't want to go thin. I don't mind going up to a size 12 if I still have an hourglass shape. What I think looks the best is a good shape irrespective of size. But regardless I have no trouble with my weight. I don't understand how other women can. I have pretty low self esteem and all that, but I still can't bow to the media pressure to be thin. I think surely most women should be able to know what they want.

We've got a musician called Adele and she just won loads of awards in a ceremony in the US (I forgot the name). She's about a size 14, but beautiful and confident.

 

[OceanMist]

^Exactly.


A male will base his opinion on his experiences as a male.
A female will base her opinion on her experiences as a female.

Neither can say their heavily biased opinion is the correct one.

Both will probably always "assume" that the opposite sex has it "easier" and the grass is greener on the other side.
Neither can convince the other their opinion is true because both sexes have had different experiences. So their opinion will always be different, because they are coming from different sides of the equation!

No man knows what it is like to experience things mentioned in this thread, as a woman.
No woman knows what is like to experience things mentioned in this thread, as a man.

It is sad to read both genders state something about the other sex (in relation to this thread) as a fact.
It's like a person born into poverty (and only lived as a poor person) stating a belief they have about the life of a rich person, as a fact.

A person doesn't have to be a certain gender to be able to understand what another gender is going through. We have life experiences and we have a pretty good idea of what we'd have if we were a different gender.

I've heard women tell me that it must be easy being a guy when it comes to hygiene and they are right, it's easier with hygiene being a guy. These women didn't have to be a guy to know that, they just know from life experience of having to do more with hygiene and knowing facts about what a guy has to do for hygiene.

 

[recluse]

Here in the UK ads feature people of all shapes and sizes, most of them actually average looking. There are celebrities who stay thin then there are those who are more rounded and those inbetween. Even then there is pressure to stay thin. I don't get it. I'm slim but I wouldn't want to go thin. I don't mind going up to a size 12 if I still have an hourglass shape. What I think looks the best is a good shape irrespective of size. But regardless I have no trouble with my weight. I don't understand how other women can. I have pretty low self esteem and all that, but I still can't bow to the media pressure to be thin. I think surely most women should be able to know what they want.

We've got a musician called Adele and she just won loads of awards in a ceremony in the US (I forgot the name). She's about a size 14, but beautiful and confident.[/QUOTE

Adele is beautiful. I don't know why there's an obsession that thin=attractive.

 

[recluse]

A person doesn't have to be a certain gender to be able to understand what another gender is going through. We have life experiences and we have a pretty good idea of what we'd have if we were a different gender.

I've heard women tell me that it must be easy being a guy when it comes to hygiene and they are right, it's easier with hygiene being a guy. These women didn't have to be a guy to know that, they just know from life experience of having to do more with hygiene and knowing facts about what a guy has to do for hygiene.

How is it easier for a guy in regards to hygiene? We have to keep ourselves clean all the same. The only difference is that we don't have to put makeup on and do our nails etc.

 

[BlueDays]

A person doesn't have to be a certain gender to be able to understand what another gender is going through. We have life experiences and we have a pretty good idea of what we'd have if we were a different gender.

I've heard women tell me that it must be easy being a guy when it comes to hygiene and they are right, it's easier with hygiene being a guy. These women didn't have to be a guy to know that, they just know from life experience of having to do more with hygiene and knowing facts about what a guy has to do for hygiene.

My post had nothing to do with something as simple as a persons "hygiene". I was referring to the previous statements/judgements posted on the previous pages of this thread. Things that are not learnt just by observation etc.

 

[OceanMist]

How is it easier for a guy in regards to hygiene? We have to keep ourselves clean all the same. The only difference is that we don't have to put makeup on and do our nails etc.

We don't have to shave our legs for one. That alone makes our hygiene a lot easier. That would be annoying to have to shave my legs.

Also, women often have to wear make-up. They have to do their hair too. They have more hair to manage on their head in most cases. That stuff must be tedious and takes more time to get ready. There is more pressure on them to look pretty and clean.

Then there is more pressure on a woman to smell nice. A lot of society operates on the stereotype that women should always smell nice at all times. A guy can get away with not smelling as nice.

To quote my ex-g/f, "You are a guy, you aren't supposed to smell nice." Although she's kind of wrong about that, it does give you an idea of difference between genders and smells. A lot of people think men are supposed to smell like nothing and women are supposed to smell good.

 

[OceanMist]

My post had nothing to do with something as simple as a persons "hygiene". I was referring to the previous statements/judgements posted on the previous pages of this thread. Things that are not learnt just by observation etc.

I know your post didn't have to do with hygiene. I was using hygiene as an example of how women don't need to be a man to know that we have it easier in a department (hygiene in that case).

Dating (the department I was talking about and is basically what this thread is about with the attractiveness thing) is the same thing. A man doesn't need to be a woman to know that women have an easier time in the dating world. Your post claimed that the sentence I just wrote is incorrect, so I was disagreeing with you by using an example such as hygiene.

 

[lurknomore]

I know your post didn't have to do with hygiene. I was using hygiene as an example of how women don't need to be a man to know that we have it easier in a department (hygiene in that case).

Dating (the department I was talking about and is basically what this thread is about with the attractiveness thing) is the same thing. A man doesn't need to be a woman to know that women have an easier time in the dating world. Your post claimed that the sentence I just wrote is incorrect, so I was disagreeing with you by using an example such as hygiene.

I think that in the "dating" world, the genders have different troubles, but overall the same difficulty. I'm a woman, but just sitting back and waiting for someone to ask me for a date doesn't work- no one asks, so there must be something that I'm supposed to be doing. Some guys might find it better and easier that they are the ones to traditionally do the asking- sure, you set yourself up for possible rejection, but it might also give you more "control" as far as your options on who you end up dating.

 

[OvidiuDanut]

I trully think that looks are overrated. Alot of ugly guys with gorgeous girls on the street convinced me of that.

 

[TheWickedOne]

The funniest smartest guy I ever met looked like Beeker from the Muppets. If he hadn't been married, I'd have been after him like a shot.

 

[recluse]

We don't have to shave our legs for one. That alone makes our hygiene a lot easier. That would be annoying to have to shave my legs.

Also, women often have to wear make-up. They have to do their hair too. They have more hair to manage on their head in most cases. That stuff must be tedious and takes more time to get ready. There is more pressure on them to look pretty and clean.

Then there is more pressure on a woman to smell nice. A lot of society operates on the stereotype that women should always smell nice at all times. A guy can get away with not smelling as nice.

To quote my ex-g/f, "You are a guy, you aren't supposed to smell nice." Although she's kind of wrong about that, it does give you an idea of difference between genders and smells. A lot of people think men are supposed to smell like nothing and women are supposed to smell good.

Unless you are a cyclist o'r a crossdresser lol! I used to be a keen cyclist and i would shave my legs.

 

[recluse]

I trully think that looks are overrated. Alot of ugly guys with gorgeous girls on the street convinced me of that.

I have come to the conclusion that it's more important to be a good person. I still feel insecure when i see good looking guys though.

 

[recluse]

The funniest smartest guy I ever met looked like Beeker from the Muppets. If he hadn't been married, I'd have been after him like a shot.

That's nice, atleast not every person is shallow then.

 

[OceanMist]

I trully think that looks are overrated. Alot of ugly guys with gorgeous girls on the street convinced me of that.

This is true. Money, social confidence and/or fame can get a guy a woman. I mean looks can matter, it just depends on what the woman is looking for. Being good looking is definitely not a free ticket, though. If a guy has enough money and popularity, he can get any woman he wants, which is a free ticket.

It reminds me of this very unattractive overweight guy who sat behind me at a baseball game. His wife was average looking which I thought was weird. Then I realized I was sitting in the high priced seats so I realized he had money, hence, he's able to get a woman that would normally be out of his league if he wasn't rich. He was also loud and obnoxious, too, which always helps, because even though he's a jerk, he's got social confidence.

I'd say a guy if I had to list the top 3 things women tend to look for in a guy it'd be
1. Social confidence
2. Money/ambition (if he's younger, going to college for example)
3. Social status

The thing with looks is they may get a guy short term dates, but the minute she finds out if he's low social status, low social confidence, she'll drop him like a bad habit. It's happened to me 3 times already. 0 for 3. If a guy wants long term relationships he's got to establish that he makes paper and has social confidence/status.

See, looks are overrated because they are only short term if a guy doesn't have at least one of the 3 things I mentioned. I guess a guy could use his looks to get into a lot of short term relationships, but that'd be annoying to constantly get rejected because of social and money thing.

 

[coyote]

The thing with looks is they may get a guy short term dates, but the minute she finds out if he's low social status, low social confidence, she'll drop him like a bad habit. It's happened to me 3 times already. 0 for 3. If a guy wants long term relationships he's got to establish that he makes paper and has social confidence/status.

See, looks are overrated because they are only short term if a guy doesn't have at least one of the 3 things I mentioned. I guess a guy could use his looks to get into a lot of short term relationships, but that'd be annoying to constantly get rejected because of social and money thing.

after two marriages, i'm not presently interested in a committed relationship

i'd rather just have fun

perhaps being good-looking and poor will work in my favor

 

[OceanMist]

after two marriages, i'm not presently interested in a committed relationship

i'd rather just have fun

perhaps being good-looking and poor will work in my favor

It probably could because you've already had your fair share of long-term relationships.

I haven't had that luxury. The longest relationship I've been in was a month and half.