Bitter about being unattractive

[Joh]

a good news for you, if you stand besides me,people will obviously like you ! you can't not even imagine my friend how worst feels when people make fun of my ugliness ! i dont go out of home, i dont get hired for any job, i have education,skills,positive attitude etc, but it really hurts dude ! you are quite good and normal ! you should be thankful to god for what you have got !

 

[OceanMist]

I have to strongly disagree with this being a men thing. Women are highly sexualised in the West in particular. The only difference between men and women regarding sex is that men are wired to respond to visual cues; women on the other hand are not. Women will respond more to a sensual narrative. Both are being massively exploited today and the majority of men and women are highly sexual.

The difference between men and women is the statistical fact that men think about sex way more than women. It's been proven in studies.

That fact alone explains why men are more sex-crazed than women. Yes, women do want sex, but it's not nearly on the same level as men.

Yeah, society is more sexualized in the Western world. But men thinking about sex more still applies. Porn is a good example. Most men need to constantly satisfy themselves whereas women don't need to do so nearly as often.

 

[Iluv]

We take looks far too seriously than what we should today. I'm that sort of person who won't believe anybody if they say I'm pretty because I compare myself to models and famous celebrities. And that's the problem. We are just wasting time focusing on something we are all going to lose at 80 when we start to get wrinkles and sag. Sad but true.

 

[OceanMist]

Most guys are horn dogs at the end of the day. Unless the woman is totally hideous she is unlikely to go through life without a few sexual advances from men.

Yep, that's what I was trying to say. It's the sexual biology thing that makes the dating world a sausage fest.

 

[OceanMist]

When i was in college a group of girls were discussing ther boyfriends penis size. Sad but true!

Yep, women will gossip. That's a given.

If you think that's bad, there was a time when my ex g/f was talking to a group of 5 of my friends and told all of them that my manhood is small. That hurt a lot, but I'm over it now, haha. Gotta be secure with what we got, right.

 

[recluse]

Thoughts create emotion.
Don't think, no emotion.

Sould is soul? The soul is influenced by and from its host's emotions, so to speak. What you feel you will feel.

Try a bit of meditation. Self control and self awareness you may learn. Try 5min a day, eyes closed, pay attention to your breathing only. Shove away or let any thoughts that come up go away. Don't hide them but pay no attention to them. Concentrate on your breathing. Its hard, you will lose your concentration but keep dragging your attention back to your breathing. Increase time as you wish.

Don't feel you have nothing think about it. What is good about you? Don't give in, you know what you got. What is it you like to do?

Yeah sorry my finger slipped when typing!

I've tried meditation in the past, it does help a bit but it's only a temporary solution. I quickly revert to my neagtive thinking patterns.

What i like to do? I like painting pictures, exercising, reading sometimes..I have a lot of hobbies but vey little motivation at the moment.

 

[recluse]

I recently came across some photos on FB from a 'lads holiday'... paper pinned to the wall with a list of girls they'd slept with and 'scores out of 10' for various factors 'in the sack' 'breasts' etc. They weren't particularly complimentary. I think both examples are just people being shallow.

That's sick to do things like that. I find that kind of holiday to be shallow.

 

[recluse]

a good news for you, if you stand besides me,people will obviously like you ! you can't not even imagine my friend how worst feels when people make fun of my ugliness ! i dont go out of home, i dont get hired for any job, i have education,skills,positive attitude etc, but it really hurts dude ! you are quite good and normal ! you should be thankful to god for what you have got !

from your avatar you don't look ugly.

 

[MikeyC]

I recently came across some photos on FB from a 'lads holiday'... paper pinned to the wall with a list of girls they'd slept with and 'scores out of 10' for various factors 'in the sack' 'breasts' etc. They weren't particularly complimentary. I think both examples are just people being shallow.

On Facebook, even. Idiots.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

On Facebook, even. Idiots.

Not surprising at all.
There was a time in highschool where groups of boys would openly stand in the hallway and rate girl's bodies and faces quite loudly, as we passed.
I would frequently get a 2 or 3 out of 10 - super fun. -__-

Not only was it in the halls at school; but there were 'lists' of 'bang'able girls on myspace; so I heard from other girls. (back in the days before facebook/youtube/texting, ah yes.)

Same shenanigans happened in college but I found that there were both girls and guys who would speak out about things before things got bad- and would put a stop to it.

Anyway... people are equally terrible in my opinion. haha
I expect things like these to happen whether I see it happening or not.

 

[MikeyC]

I expect things like these to happen whether I see it happening or not.

Oh, of course.

Sorry you had to go through all of that. I wonder why the blokes were doing that. It's really awful and I hope karma bites them on the bum.

 

[OceanMist]

Not surprising at all.
There was a time in highschool where groups of boys would openly stand in the hallway and rate girl's bodies and faces quite loudly, as we passed.
I would frequently get a 2 or 3 out of 10 - super fun. -__-

Not only was it in the halls at school; but there were 'lists' of 'bang'able girls on myspace; so I heard from other girls. (back in the days before facebook/youtube/texting, ah yes.)

Same shenanigans happened in college but I found that there were both girls and guys who would speak out about things before things got bad- and would put a stop to it.

Anyway... people are equally terrible in my opinion. haha
I expect things like these to happen whether I see it happening or not.

Somebody should put those guys in their place. That out-loud rating system is uncalled for.

 

[MrJones]

Somebody should put those guys in their place. That out-loud rating system is uncalled for.

There was actually something similar in our school, made by both boys and girls. I've been always ugly, so I suffered quite a bit because of it. I'm not mentally strong, so it hurt me.

Now people don't do such things anymore, saying out loud rankings and stuff, obviously, but people still talk about who'd be better in bed or whatever. I still get weird looks by girls and people laughing at me from time to time, but my self esteem is non existant already, so I don't care that much.

 

[twiggle]

Both genders are equally as guilty of being shallow (I have a group of girl friends that do the whole 'my boyfriend's penis size is...' debate and it makes me cringe).
In my experience boys have been more likely to say it to somebody's face though.... when I was younger I had to walk home past an all-boys school and I hated it, they'd always be laughing, once I even got told to 'shave my moustache'. Girls tend to just laugh and gossip about such things with one another rather than say it to the guys face. Just my experience though. Even though it's still mean, at least its less likely to hurt the guy if they can't hear it.
That photo I saw on FB was ridiculous though. I just wondered how they might feel if the girls they'd slept with had done the same thing and they'd saw a photo of it sometime. People are too quick to judge and ridicule other peoples' looks, it's pathetic.

 

[recluse]

God i hate people!

 

[MikeyC]

I've been always ugly

You so funny.

Both genders are equally as guilty of being shallow (I have a group of girl friends that do the whole 'my boyfriend's penis size is...' debate and it makes me cringe).

I agree that both genders are shallow, and everyone on this forum is shallow to some degree (we all have our standards even when we say we don't), but I still think it's more prevalent in men.

That photo I saw on FB was ridiculous though. I just wondered how they might feel if the girls they'd slept with had done the same thing and they'd saw a photo of it sometime.

Ah, yes. It wouldn't be so funny anymore, I reckon.

People are too quick to judge and ridicule other peoples' looks, it's pathetic.

It's a superficial world out there, and looks are the first port of call to knowing someone. You know what someone looks like before you know what they're actually like.

I've actually gained attraction to girls because of their personality and lost attraction in similar fashion to girls who are superficially "hot," as I'm sure all men (and women) have done.

 

[Iluv]

Not surprising at all.
There was a time in highschool where groups of boys would openly stand in the hallway and rate girl's bodies and faces quite loudly, as we passed.
I would frequently get a 2 or 3 out of 10 - super fun. -__-

Not only was it in the halls at school; but there were 'lists' of 'bang'able girls on myspace; so I heard from other girls. (back in the days before facebook/youtube/texting, ah yes.)

Same shenanigans happened in college but I found that there were both girls and guys who would speak out about things before things got bad- and would put a stop to it.

Anyway... people are equally terrible in my opinion. haha
I expect things like these to happen whether I see it happening or not.

Weirdy, you have such a nice personality and seem like a kind-hearted person. I don't need a picture to know you are definitely beyond a 10. Don't listen to those stupid guys.

 

[twiggle]

I agree that both genders are shallow, and everyone on this forum is shallow to some degree (we all have our standards even when we say we don't)

Definitely, though if you're talking about looks, I think 'taste' is probably a better word than standard, as there is not, and will never be, a universally-agreed scale over what is 'attractive'. I think 'standards' only relate to their personality e.g I want a partner who'll cook occasionally or something.

It's a superficial world out there, and looks are the first port of call to knowing someone. You know what someone looks like before you know what they're actually like.

Yeah, I think so too. People who feel inclined to be nasty have no other material to work with regarding strangers, so pick on their looks instead. I've even seen extremely attractive people being picked on, though not as often. Usually that's only through jealousy though.

I've actually gained attraction to girls because of their personality and lost attraction in similar fashion to girls who are superficially "hot," as I'm sure all men (and women) have done.

I definitely have. Some of my previous crushes, a couple in particular, when I first saw them... they were the very opposite of my taste and physically I was not attracted to them in the slightest. Then I got to know them and they turned into Gods in my mind.... [here's a grape for you all to go with this cheese].

Well, more fool people who rule potential partners out so fast on the basis that they're not 'attractive enough'. They might be letting something very special slip right by...

 

[MikeyC]

Definitely, though if you're talking about looks, I think 'taste' is probably a better word than standard, as there is not, and will never be, a universally-agreed scale over what is 'attractive'. I think 'standards' only relate to their personality e.g I want a partner who'll cook occasionally or something.

Yeah, taste is probably a better term to use. What I might find attractive another man might not.

I definitely have. Some of my previous crushes, a couple in particular, when I first saw them... they were the very opposite of my taste and physically I was not attracted to them in the slightest. Then I got to know them and they turned into Gods in my mind....

Yeah, the same has happened to me...well, not turning into Gods, but you know. :: My perception had changed.

 

[coyote]

Yeah, taste is probably a better term to use. What I might find attractive another man might not.

it's true - women all taste different