Being in a country not being able to speak the language

[gustavofring]

So I've gotten with my girlfriend from France for holidays and spent some weeks with her and her family there. Trouble for me is that I don't speak the language quite yet, and they speak really fast.

It quite heightens the social anxiety x 100. The family is very nice, and some speak English, but sometimes when they all are having a conversation at the dinner table I'm having very difficult times. Where do you look at if you can't follow a conversation? Do you look at the people when they're talking, while you're not being able to understand a thing? Is it getting annoying for them that I don't speak the language and that I can only communicate in English?
Anyway, that made for quite a lot of awkward moments (mindmade mostly).

Has anyone else ever had to cope with this sort of thing? I'd like to hear your experiences.

 

[this_portrait]

My roommate during my first year of college was Indian, and while she spoke perfect English around me and most of her friends, on some occasions her family would come to the dorm and they would all be speaking in Hindi-Urdu (pretty sure that's what it's called). It felt rather awkward on my end because I had no idea what they were saying (obviously), and I remember thinking to myself, 'What if they're saying something about me in their language?'

I doubt they're annoyed with you because you can't speak their language well. Learning a language takes time for most people, and I'm sure they can understand that.

 

[coyote]

i feel the same way whenever i visit any relatives in arkansas, oklahoma, or texas

i have no idea what anyone is saying

i tried to order something at a Mcdonald's in Tulsa, and the girl just stared at me

 

[Hellhound]

My mate is American and I speak Spanish. I fear my retarded accent will make communication difficult.

 

[A86]

I think you need to remind yourself its pretty reasonable people feel more comfortable speaking in their native tongue as it is usually easier to articulate their thoughts and ideas.
its highly unlikely they do it to talk about you without including you in the conversation.

 

[Invisibleman]

Yeah my sister's boyfriend's family are all french,french canadian obviously. Anyway they can all speak perfect english but for some reason when they are all together as a family they all start speaking french and its really akward because I just have to sit there. Also it makes me suspicious of what they are saying, because as I said they all speak english aswell as any native born speaker. Hmmmmmmmmm *shifty eyes* hehe.

 

[1BlackSheep]

My mate is American and I speak Spanish. I fear my retarded accent will make communication difficult.

Trust me, as an American, your Spanish accent is quite beautiful!

 

[Hellhound]

Trust me, as an American, your Spanish accent is quite beautiful!

Thank you, man

 

[1BlackSheep]

Thank you, man

Um, for like the zillionth time, I'm FEMALE!!!! ::

 

[dragonoth]

During the holidays I come and stay with my boyfriend's family, who are all Dutch and speak their language at the dinner table. If something is funny then my bf translates it for me but usually I just take my time eating my food so I don't have to sit there and twiddle my thumbs lol. I have managed to pick up a few Dutch words from my European languages knowledge so sometimes I can guess what the convo is about, which isn't too bad. Usually I just stare into nothing though lol.

I'd say that the best thing you can do is practise your French with your gf, if you want to join in with her family and culture. I'm planning to learn a few languages myself in order to at least understand what is being said.

Also I wouldn't worry about if they find it annoying or not. It should be enough if you can follow their conversation and join in whenever you feel like it, be it in English or French. I'm sure they won't mind.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Ahh... my sister went to French immersion (which is a type of schooling where from grades 6-8 you are only allowed to communicate in French) and I was still very young, so she would come home and speak French with our dad and I had no idea what they were saying.
Don't remember how it made me feel-- left out, I suppose.
By the time I was in grade 6, we didn't have the money to put me into French immersion, so I was stuck with the terrible repeated 'beginners French for people who don't care enough to speak it' classes in public school. haha

In college, I had friends who spoke an array of languages- most of which, I didn't understand.
It made me paranoid that they were saying bad things about me to my face because I would never know.

Once, I went to the mall with a friend and these French girls were calling my friend a 'fat pig' because she's larger, I guess... but we could both understand what they were saying and told them in French; "It's really rude to talk about people like that."
They just laughed at first but quickly got embarrassed and ran away when we corrected their grammar and told them to stay in school.

 

[Section_31]

The thought of this scares the bejesus out of me. I think thats part of what keeps me from ever leaving here and travelling the world.

I only speak a few languages, english, some mild french, profanity, sailor, klingon, and binary.

 

[Hoppy]

Since I live in a country with eleven official languages, there is a lot I don't speak, but we all manage somehow.

It is bad enough having to write english so that you lot can understand me.

 

[jonas89]

I dont know if this is related, but like at work, many of the employees are from poland and you're sometimes just alone with them, and of course the cant speak in english with ya, so I just stand there and scratch my head not knowing what is going on hehe,, it's kinda annoying when you cant participate in the discussion.