Awkward Around Awkward People?

[Silatuyok]

Since I am socially awkward, I feel like I should have a better understanding of how to act around other socially awkward people; but the opposite seems to be true. I feel really, really awkward around other awkward people. It's like not knowing how to act, times ten. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Unspoken]

I feel more secure around other awkward people, but it definitely doesn't help when it comes to conversation and trying to keep it going. That's what makes me feel awkward, really, that and trying to decide if they're just feeling awkward or upset about something.

 

[jaim38]

I actually feel more awkward around socially adept people. They're so good at communicating that they can throw me off. On the other hand, I feel more comfortable around socially awkward people. I am more assertive and confident around them.

 

[paperie]

I'm most comfortable with people who are also moderately awkward but if they are shyer than me I can feel reaaaally awkward. I used to work with a girl who rarely ever spoke and whenever I tried to strike up a convo with her she'd blush and not really say much. I have a hard time reading quiet people so I was always paranoid that she didn't like me or that I was boring/bothering her.

 

[BlueDays]

When I come across a fellow awkward person my sympathy neurons? lol :idontknow: start firing and my desire to help them to feel "less awkward" in the conversation kicks in.
Some confidence comes out of nowhere because of the strong instinct to help the awkard person.:idontknow:

 

[BlueWeepingRose]

Yeah to be honest whenever I'm around shy people as well I never know what to say. Although I do try to break the ice eventually cause I feel weird if either one of us says anything. I've been in the situation before, so trust me you're not alone.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Sometimes the awkwardness of others brings out even more of my own awkwardness. I do notice my anxiety increase, though to help the situation I will try to become the more "social" one and keep the conversation going, make the other person at ease.

 

[Richey]

Nah i'm fine around other mild mannered people and awkward people, you can sort of laugh and think "i know how they feel" if they do something. People who are confident and bossy i tend to feel uncomfort with. But you just have to find ways to cope i guess.

 

[Saga]

Ohhhh no. I can't stand being around people who don't talk! I think I'm the world's biggest hypocrite for saying that, but let's just move on from that.

People who are chatty and smile heaps help me to open up. With quiet people, I find my anxious thoughts are multiplied, as I always feel as if they are judging me and their silence is due to the fact they think I'm totally strange. .-.

 

[BamanPiderman]

I feel about the same amount of awkward around people I don't know well no matter their communication skills, but I have friends of friends I can talk to normally if said friend is around, but if we were on our own together, the conversation dries up and gets really awkward, whereas, otherwise, I'd be happy for the friend of the friend to be really conversational as long as they don't say things like, "Why don't you talk?" and are happy just to have me listen and not contribute too much.

 

[mikebird]

Absolutely right

It seems to be the forever inner loop. I was looking forward to bumping into akin people but it doesn't help. Good to know. I've had good, long-term experiences with the right people who get me going and help me to meet more

I think of the engineering positive feedback problem. When you have a large PA system and put the mic right next to big speakers, you get the ultimate 'weeee ooooooohhhh!!!!' whine heading for an electrical explosion. Therefore we have negative control systems to reduce this effect and keep it safe. eg. anti-lock braking in cars. Ummmm.. I think of a metaphor of the condom in overpopulation

In a room of self-aware of the awkward probably have enough sense to not let it go self-inhibiting, getting more introverted. We just wouldn't going around at a wedding party to find all the shy people to get together.

I'd expect a 'let's not bother' attitude.

 

[Falkor]

THIS....

I feel overly awkward, I act weird, I create silences, I am shy, I am not able to use my voice the way I want it to sound, i can't find the right words, my mind gets blanc, and my body languages shows a big tension, and the way i act is just like the most weird behaviour ever, that I want to run away from social situations a lot, because it's killing me.

it's like dancing naked in front of a group, i don't know what's going on with me.

 

[gazelle]

Depends on the awkward person. I used to feel sympathetic around awkward poeple before ,give them attention, try to make them feel normal and comfortable and pretend that their weird reactions were normal to me, but after two cases in real life of weird guys turning into stalkers and having gotten the wrong signals thinking I had interest in them, I usually avoid talking to awkward guys. If it's a female I have no problem though , I usually feel more confident. That being said I do tend to get awkward in some situations myself, specially when I'm around poeple who think they're superior.

 

[awkwardamanda]

Oh, I totally understand. I can think of a couple of times I was in that situation and I had no idea how to handle it.

When I was in university, there was a guy in a couple of my classes who might have had a crush on me. We had a class together once and we talked a couple of times. He seemed a little awkward then. Two years later we had another class together. We sat by each other and talked a little. But then sometimes, when class was over, he'd pack up his stuff and then stand there waiting for me and walk out with me. It's different if we were in the middle of a conversation, but sometimes we weren't. He'd just stand there silent and I'm thinking, okay you can leave. There was one time we were talking while walking down the hall after class and then he just kinda stopped and we stood there and finished our conversation and then he turned back. It was like he meant to turn off somewhere else but kept walking with me. I didn't mind talking to him, but I wasn't attracted to him at all, and being horribly awkward myself, I had no clue how to deal with the situation.mg:

Then there's this girl at the lake where my family has our trailer. I think she has mild autism or Asperger's or something. When I first met her, something just seemed off. I think she's 31 and she lives with her dad. She doesn't talk like an adult though. She tries to make conversation, but it's always very simplistic. She just kind of asks random questions. And then she'll just sit and stare for a moment. It's totally awkward for me because I just don't know what to say next. I can't keep a conversation going as it is. I want to be friendly to her, but it's not easy for me.

 

[Silatuyok]

Ohhhh no. I can't stand being around people who don't talk! I think I'm the world's biggest hypocrite for saying that, but let's just move on from that.

Exactly! I think another part of it is that all I want is to hide my awkwardness if at all possible, and to be around another awkward person I think, Oh no, they're onto me! They're gonna know I'm awkward too! I'm making them feel awkward and that makes me feel awkward!

 

[this_portrait]

Eh... No, I think I'm more comfortable around other awkward people. At least then I can be my abnormal, awkward self without being judged for it.

 

[BleedTheFreak]

I actually find myself acting very different around quiet/shy/awkward people, like I become confident and more chatty all of a sudden. When dealing with someone who's talkative I usually just let them go on because I don't have the mind to keep up with them, I think long and slowly and I speak pretty slowly too. But with quiet people I feel like I have a chance to keep my thoughts in order and really try to have a conversation. Also quiet/shy people are far less intimidating and that definitely adds to my comfort level.

 

[BlackPuma]

Yes, I totally feel more awkward around awkward people. Especially when the other person is insecure or anxious. Having to cope with my own anxieties and theirs is often a negatively intense experience that I edge on not being able to cope with.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

A lot of times, awkwardness is caused by a preoccupation of yourself, which causes you to feel uncomfortable and unconnected to the conversation.

To me, it makes sense to be more uncomfortable around someone else who is also uncomfortable. Unless you know that they have SA and it's not you. But, most of us with SA, assume it's because of us.

 

[Richey]

I actually find myself acting very different around quiet/shy/awkward people, like I become confident and more chatty all of a sudden. When dealing with someone who's talkative I usually just let them go on because I don't have the mind to keep up with them, I think long and slowly and I speak pretty slowly too. But with quiet people I feel like I have a chance to keep my thoughts in order and really try to have a conversation. Also quiet/shy people are far less intimidating and that definitely adds to my comfort level.

This is exactly how i feel as well.