Around other shy people

[xDreamseller]

Does anyone else become much more confident when they are around other shy people? I've always read that 2 shy people would make a terrible couple/friends as neither person would want to speak and it would be awkward etc.

I find that when I'm with someone who is more shy/socially awkward than I am, I suddenly become quite capable of holding a conversation etc. (I've always thought I've had an inferiority problem or something, so maybe that's why?)

 

[Hellhound]

Yes. I become what I rarely am.

 

[xDreamseller]

If only we could be like that all the time ;(

 

[laure15]

Yes, I don't feel as anxious around shy, quiet people because i'm not alone.

 

[Entangled]

I am exactly the same way I can talk nonstop with other shy people.
Then somebody with better social skills shows up and I am quiet again :/

 

[Bucketbot]

Extroverted people can be intimidating...

 

[OceanMist]

I've found that it varies with me the same as it does with outgoing people.

Some shy people I am comfortable around, other shy people I don't have anything to say with.

I will say that making conversation with someone who doesn't know how to have a conversation and never says much at all is not something I enjoy.

It's annoying when certain women will expect me to lead the entire conversation. Like the ones that have one word answers and expect me to come up with 90% of the conversation and all of these questions. I don't like that.

Most women I've met in person didn't have that problem. It seems to be more of an online thing.

 

[JonSP]

Yeah I become much more confident when talking to someone who's also shy. No idea why, might be to avoid the very awkward situation that is complete silence lol.

 

[miserablecow]

Sometimes I become like that. but then again I also find myself being the other person too.

 

[aNOTfox]

I think its because when a more socially skilled person turns up we feel pressured to go to their level of confidence, and when we find we carn't, we feel kind of defeated or "unworthy", for want of a better word, and so give up and stay quiet.

 

[Bgaz1292]

I feel this way too. Whenever I'm around someone just as shy and awkward as I am, I really open up for some reason and feel quite confident. I personally feel it's because being around someone shy I don't feel threatened and feel I can be my shy awkward self. I find when I'm around very social people I just freeze up and their extroversion terrifies me. Also, when I'm around someone just as awkward, I'm not afraid of embarrassing myself by saying something totally random and quirky because they're the same way whereas someone more extroverted might look at my like I have two heads.

 

[Froggy246]

Yes I think the problem seems to be the effect of worrying about what to say, or putting importance on my 'performance' rather than not having anything to say at all. It's interesting to reflect on the sorts of qualities in others that either raise the importance of my 'performance', or lower it. In the case of shy people, perhaps I know that we tend to be quite self occupied, so I know they won’t be judging me because they’ll be too busy judging themselves, hence I don’t care so much about how I perform, and can relax and just be myself. What a nice feeling!

 

[theoutsider]

Does anyone else become much more confident when they are around other shy people? I've always read that 2 shy people would make a terrible couple/friends as neither person would want to speak and it would be awkward etc.

I find that when I'm with someone who is more shy/socially awkward than I am, I suddenly become quite capable of holding a conversation etc. (I've always thought I've had an inferiority problem or something, so maybe that's why?)

I don't know about more confident but I do feel more comfortable. I always feel like another shy person will be more understanding and I am more understanding of them in return. It works out well. It should be noted that just because some people are shy doesn't mean they may not be jerks. I have run into a few shy people who actually turned out to be not nice at all once I got to know them.

 

[SilentBird]

I feel inadequate around confident people.

Conversely, some people can become awkward around quiet/shy people.

 

[The Lost]

Shy/awkward people send my nerves just as crazy. They exhibit behaviour and personality traits that I hate in myself. Observing their mannerisms is like the unbearable task of watching myself on camera.

 

[anomicdeer]

Yes.
If I ever come across one.

 

[BlueWeepingRose]

Yeah I find it's very easy for me to talk when I'm around another shy person. For some reason I break out of my shell more when I'm around other shy people. Maybe it's different for each person though.

 

[dangermouse]

Yes i found that to be true, when i around a quiet person I can talk as much as i like as we are similar.

 

[DanBabineau]

I haven't been left in one-on-one situations with very many of my fellow shy people in my life. I can recall one a few years ago when I was training someone new at work and it was very evident that they were shy. It was sort of painful to sit through because neither of us could muster up the effort needed to say anything. There was a lot of silence except for when I had to show him how to do the job.

 

[EternalIce]

I agree, it's the same for me but the problem of having to shut up as soon as someone with better social skill starts to dominate the conversation only happens when that person is male, if the person is female I can usually get some words in, I don't feel as defeated, or I guess as threatened. (I don't know why exactly, but it could be because girls have never bullied me or ever even made a hurtful comment without some kind of coersion by an alpha male) that's a patter that I have observed atleast.