Arohanui - Ake Ake KiaKaha's Journal

Beleza said: ↑

Kia, I really believe you are going to find someone to love you.
You are the champion my friend, keep on fighting till the end.

Love? I will settle for being given a chance.
But thank you Beleza 😀 - NZ women are a bit....odd. Well... the men are too. I am not all that into my fellow countrymen to be honest.

I swear I should have been born in a different country.

I like that song black sheep...

KiaKaha said: ↑

NZ women are a bit....odd. Well... the men are too.

You ain't seen nothin' like us wacky Californians! 😮

1BlackSheep said: ↑

You ain't seen nothin' like us wacky Californians! 😮

I have met Californian women. In fact I have been to California - and the most interesting, considerate and passionate woman I ever went out with was from Oakland.

You guys are WAY better in my opinion.

KiaKaha said: ↑

I have met Californian women. In fact I have been to California - and the most interesting, considerate and passionate woman I ever went out with was from Oakland.

You guys are WAY better in my opinion.

I must be the anomoly then! :😛:

She sounds favorable so far Kia and I think you have the right idea. All the best!

1BlackSheep said: ↑

I must be the anomoly then! :😛:

No, but you do go beyond what Kia said your funny too
and probably more.😉

I don't know why but I like reading about this stuff but I hate girly movies. I like the real deal I guess. 😀

Beleza said: ↑

You both tickle me to death. 😀

I think you are our only fan! :😛:

Kat said: ↑

No, but you do go beyond what Kia said your funny too
and probably more.

Awwwwwwww!!! 🙂 Now if only I had one of those hot Aussie accents! 😉

That sounds very good and positive, Kia. I really hope things continue to go well for you! 🙂

OK so girl I thought was kinda seeing only wants to be friends. Gee couldn't see that one coming.... good thing I didnt get my hopes up right? Small pang of emotional pain - could have been a lot worse.

Anyway.

5 reasons why I think we should question everything always

1. Nobody has any idea of what it is like to experience life outside of themselves. My reality is my own - everything that I experience is personal. Making any judgements or forming an opinion about something or someone is merely guesswork. It is impossible to know how someone is feeling exactly. We can empathize only if we suffer and have shared experiences with our person of focus. Our experience is largely based on our culture - and within that prejudice exists - our gender, race, appearance age, social standing, occupation and religious beliefs all contribute to shape who we are as a person - and only WE can own that. A best guess is about as good as it gets.

2. Confirmatory Bias
A tendency to take notice of things we already agree with - based on our own feelings toward reality. How can someone possibly fathom your own point of view and believe anything you have to say when everything about them says otherwise? Not only will they not notice - but if you point it out to them they will disagree completely because they dont know any better.

3. Errors in ones attribution - I noticed this the other day as I was walking out a bookstore. I noticed a customer was being sort changed (or so he thought) and was arguing with the cashier. After he was proved wrong - I though (very briefly) that he was an idiot.
Then I realized - if *I* was him - I would rationalize it by situation. I would probably tell myself that I was in a hurry, the cashier didnt know what she was doing, the price was too much, a computer error etc etc - but if someone else does it then one questions their inherent characteristics. Which is completely unfair.

4. Observational association
Seeing two things occur by chance does not necessarily mean they are related. They might be - but it doesnt mean to say that they are.

5. Personal point of view - learning something that makes sense of the world, or works for us personally - means that it *must* work for everyone else. This cant be true.
and is actually one of my biggest pet peeves. Especially if our experience is very persuasive and notice that it often does work for others. Just because it works for you or most - does not mean it works for everyone.

Or at least - that is what I think.

KiaKaha said: ↑

OK so girl I thought was kinda seeing only wants to be friends. Gee couldn't see that one coming.... good thing I didnt get my hopes up right? Small pang of emotional pain - could have been a lot worse.

Well, crapola! So sorry! :🙁: You are taking it very well though, so you get Brownie points for that. 🙂

1BlackSheep said: ↑

Well, crapola! So sorry! :🙁: You are taking it very well though, so you get Brownie points for that. 🙂

Hey friend zone is where I am at baby. It's my signature move.

I just love have fleeting moments of enjoyment, fulfillment and intimacy then having it taken away from me the moment I get my expectations up.

I live for that feeling - makes me feel complete. It doesnt make me feel hollow, not good enough, unhappy and empty at all...

Its how I rolllll bayyyybeee.... its where I am at

Knew it would happen - so no big disaster.

KiaKaha said: ↑

OK so girl I thought was kinda seeing only wants to be friends. Gee couldn't see that one coming.... good thing I didnt get my hopes up right? Small pang of emotional pain - could have been a lot worse.

Anyway.

5 reasons why I think we should question everything always

1. Nobody has any idea of what it is like to experience life outside of themselves. My reality is my own - everything that I experience is personal. Making any judgements or forming an opinion about something or someone is merely guesswork. It is impossible to know how someone is feeling exactly. We can empathize only if we suffer and have shared experiences with our person of focus. Our experience is largely based on our culture - and within that prejudice exists - our gender, race, appearance age, social standing, occupation and religious beliefs all contribute to shape who we are as a person - and only WE can own that. A best guess is about as good as it gets.

2. Confirmatory Bias
A tendency to take notice of things we already agree with - based on our own feelings toward reality. How can someone possibly fathom your own point of view and believe anything you have to say when everything about them says otherwise? Not only will they not notice - but if you point it out to them they will disagree completely because they dont know any better.

3. Errors in ones attribution - I noticed this the other day as I was walking out a bookstore. I noticed a customer was being sort changed (or so he thought) and was arguing with the cashier. After he was proved wrong - I though (very briefly) that he was an idiot.
Then I realized - if *I* was him - I would rationalize it by situation. I would probably tell myself that I was in a hurry, the cashier didnt know what she was doing, the price was too much, a computer error etc etc - but if someone else does it then one questions their inherent characteristics. Which is completely unfair.

4. Observational association
Seeing two things occur by chance does not necessarily mean they are related. They might be - but it doesnt mean to say that they are.

5. Personal point of view - learning something that makes sense of the world, or works for us personally - means that it *must* work for everyone else. This cant be true.
and is actually one of my biggest pet peeves. Especially if our experience is very persuasive and notice that it often does work for others. Just because it works for you or most - does not mean it works for everyone.

Or at least - that is what I think.

I agree with all of it Kia.
I'm sorry about the girl though.

I agree with all of your points on questioning everything, Kia, though I'd personally add one more... For when it comes to questioning things which are supposed to be "facts"... Just because something is a consensus it doesn't mean it's correct, look into the actual evidence and not what people say the evidence shows. (Sorry, it's just that things like that really bother me at times when people rant on about something as a fact, which may not be...)

Also, I'm sorry about the girl... On the plus side, you gain experience points... Now if only life is a game. ^_-

Starry said: ↑

I agree with all of your points on questioning everything, Kia, though I'd personally add one more... For when it comes to questioning things which are supposed to be "facts"... Just because something is a consensus it doesn't mean it's correct, look into the actual evidence and not what people say the evidence shows. (Sorry, it's just that things like that really bother me at times when people rant on about something as a fact, which may not be...)

Also, I'm sorry about the girl... On the plus side, you gain experience points... Now if only life is a game. ^_-

I think scientifically speaking theories such as evolution and gravity are still exactly that - theories. Even though they are backed up so much that we now take them as fact. So yes - I agree with you. It is hard though to stand up against the status quo - when everyone else is against you and you are alone.

It is always nice to have support - somehow.

I feel sorry for people who have none.

Girls suck - my little heart gets broken far to easily 🙁

KiaKaha said: ↑

I think scientifically speaking theories such as evolution and gravity are still exactly that - theories. Even though they are backed up so much that we now take them as fact. So yes - I agree with you. It is hard though to stand up against the status quo - when everyone else is against you and you are alone..

Indeed it is difficult... My husband and I have studied things such as evolution and looked at the Creationist arguments too... We actually end up not completely agreeing with anyone... There are problems with some aspects of evolutionary theory and many, many problems with the Creationist side... Debates on that subject are never good, I end up attacked by both sides, despite the fact I only want to know the truth... And all the imploring in the world of people on both sides to take nothing as it is stated but to look for themselves (I never think I'm right, I only want people to question for themselves) does absolutely nothing... They of course, make pretense to agree, but they instantly fail when they put forth their arguments. It's refreshing to see someone, such as your good self, stating what I state; "question everything"!

KiaKaha said: ↑

Girls suck.

No they don't! 😛 Just the ones you've been involved with do. ^_-

Question everything.
It is my mantra - I believe that being skeptical, yet open minded is the key to understanding the world - and it helps to eliminate ignorance, disempowerment and complacency - forever progressing the world forward.

Feeling uncomfortable, as counter intuitive as it may appear - I believe is important.

People always think they have it figured out - myself included sometimes. I guess it is just how people are wired. If we doubted everything completely - the world would be pretty scary...well...scarier..

No they don't! 😛 Just the ones you've been involved with do. ^_-

I dont really believe that seriously(thinking girls suck). I just feel like that there is something wrong with me - and it leaves an ache - I need to distract my self, I can feel myself slipping into despair.Oh well. Life goes on. There is nothing like having dopamine released into my brain and then having it abruptly cut off again.... Surely that cant be good... I mean from a physiological point of view....

meh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zr5mCBFejIE

Sometimes it dawns on me just how shocking things can be when you literally question everything... It is very scary... And then I find it depressing, the number of things I've looked into, thinking it was a fact, only to discover that it's not just makes me feel so disheartened...

Still, at least questioning everything pays off from time to time... For example, the vet recently thought my dog was dying from a liver problem, we (my husband and I) questioned it, did a lot of research (using test results from the vet also) and came to the conclusion that she only had a protein deficiency. We showed the information we found to the vet, but she was too closed-minded to accept the possibility, she even suggested that we have the dog put to sleep... We fixed her diet and now she is fitter and healthier than ever! If we hadn't questioned things, my dog may now be dead!

The moral of the story being, that your mantra is an excellent one to have!

I understand how you feel, and no it can't be good. I am sorry, but there is nothing wrong with you that I can see. Try not to give in to despair. As you said, life goes on, and although it's not in any way the same, there are people on this forum who care about you.

KiaKaha said: ↑

I think scientifically speaking theories such as evolution and gravity are still exactly that - theories. Even though they are backed up so much that we now take them as fact. So yes - I agree with you. It is hard though to stand up against the status quo - when everyone else is against you and you are alone.

It is always nice to have support - somehow.

I feel sorry for people who have none.

Girls suck - my little heart gets broken far to easily 🙁

I really do not think most people claim evolution and those things as a pure fact, they just don't believe in creationism. I think most scientists are skeptics, they just accept the current theories when they're trying to understand the universe. I think that it is a great thing that theories are accepted, even though we know very little, it helps us to explore the universe and world around us and try to understand. What is a fact? A fact can be accepting the truth at the moment, but that does not mean that it is absolute.

KiaKaha said: ↑

Girls suck....

well, let's hope so

KiaKaha said: ↑

Feeling uncomfortable, as counter intuitive as it may appear - I believe is important.

it doesn't have to be uncomfortable at all

we don't have to have all the answers

or any of them for that matter

i accept that i don't know - that i can't know

and i take comfort in that - sometimes joy

coyote said: ↑

it doesn't have to be uncomfortable at all
we don't have to have all the answers
or any of them for that matter
i accept that i don't know - that i can't know

mmmm...
I dont really see it that way. I could take that approach myself - but I think it is better to question - to seek answers and to understand - and then doubt that understanding. I dont think I am wired that way - I cant do it.
Feeling untroubled and comfortable to me - is just a euphemism of ignorance is bliss.

Broad blanket statements of apparent understanding does not sit right with me - for reasons I have already mentioned.

But I guess that is just me.

i'm not suggesting that the goal is to willfully remain ignorant,

but rather that we might be at peace as we seek understanding of the world,

if we first accept that knowledge is illusory and knowing impossible.

in this way, we aren't burdened with the angst caused by our furtive grasping and clutching at the shadows of "truth"