Are you scared of your neighbors making sounds?

Moses199

Well-known member
#1
I have this problem that's killing me. I'm afraid to make body movement because i feel like my neighbors will at the exact same time as me make a sound like clank the dishes, accidentally hit the wall or some sound if i move my body. For example, i get scared to stand up from my chair because i feel like as soon as i stand up they will make a sound at the exact same time when i stand up. Anyone else have this issue?
 
#2
No, but it reminds me how I feel tense about security scanners potentially going off at the library or airport, or how the car radio sometimes comes on at full volume. Its sort of anticipating a startle response.
 

Aylaa

Well-known member
#4
I have this problem that's killing me. I'm afraid to make body movement because i feel like my neighbors will at the exact same time as me make a sound like clank the dishes, accidentally hit the wall or some sound if i move my body. For example, i get scared to stand up from my chair because i feel like as soon as i stand up they will make a sound at the exact same time when i stand up. Anyone else have this issue?
what would happen if a neighbour made a sound at the same time as you moved your body?
 
#5
Not exactly that but I'm terrified that if they hear or see me they might come over to my place to chat ...and that would flip me out. ((Hugs))
 
#6
I'm afraid of them complaining that make too much noise I make as little noise as possible so I don't bother my neighbors. But in reality I'm probably the only one being careful
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
#7
I can hear my neighbours taking a piss through the walls. I only use the downstairs toilet.
I am scared to come out of my unit, if any other residents are talking outside.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
#9
I'm afraid of them complaining that make too much noise I make as little noise as possible so I don't bother my neighbors. But in reality I'm probably the only one being careful
That's what I'm saying. Unless you're being very loud and obnoxious, they don't care. They'd have to have way too much free time on their hands to be focusing on whatever it is you're doing. "Oh, he/she dragged a chair, I hate him/her so much for even daring to do such a thing in MY building!"

Maybe what they're actually wondering is why you're so quiet, since they never hear a peep. Random noises are to be expected when you're in an apartment building. Find more important, actually real things to focus on.
 
#10
That's what I'm saying. Unless you're being very loud and obnoxious, they don't care. They'd have to have way too much free time on their hands to be focusing on whatever it is you're doing. "Oh, he/she dragged a chair, I hate him/her so much for even daring to do such a thing in MY building!"

Maybe what they're actually wondering is why you're so quiet, since they never hear a peep. Random noises are to be expected when you're in an apartment building. Find more important, actually real things to focus on.
I think you may be on the wrong track here - the OP has a problem with the possibility of the neighbour making a noise rather than worrying about any noise he is making
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
#12
I think you may be on the wrong track here - the OP has a problem with the possibility of the neighbour making a noise rather than worrying about any noise he is making
No, he/she's worried that they might make the same sound he makes, like dragging a chair at the same time (that's the idea I'm getting, at least). The sooner he/she understands how little sense that makes, the easier he/she can place that logical and rational idea in his/her mind and go past it.
 

Moses199

Well-known member
#13
I used to do everything quietly, but after a while this created this current "by product" fear you could say, which is if i make body movement someone else will make a sound in same time i move. By that i mean if i'm sitting in a chair this nervous energy will build up that as soon as i get up from my chair i will hear my neighbor make a sound so they can escape my nervous energy. And the weird thing is that it happens alot. Like it would be all quite (no sound) in aparment, then when i get up i hear someone make a sound same time as i got up. Which is crazy....The aparment could be quite and I could have my arm resting, then as soon as i move my arm i hear someone make sound at same time.

This all stemed from my doing everything quitly, because when shut the door VERY quitly it would live a lingering nervous energy which i think my neighboors could feel so they would make sound through the wall or i would hear them get up from there bed to escape the lingering nervous energy i made from doing things quietly (shutting door quitly, getting out of bed quitly, etc.).

After while i thought in order for me to end this fear of hearing my neighbors making sound same time as my body movement, i would need start making sounds/noises and stop doing things quitly. So i moved to a new apartment with my mom/sister and stopped doing things quitly. I watch TV with high volume , didn't whisper when talking to my family, didn't shut doors quitly. However, this didn't stop my fear of neigbors making sounds same time as my body movement. I seriously which i never did things quitly because i wouldn't have this fear of simultaneously.
 
#14
Sacrament, I love that you keep bringing logic up. It's the only thing that keeps me being able to do those things, by thinking through it. Logically, I know no one really cares what I do, it's some deep thought that something scary will happen, like in past. The only thing I'm doing is letting those horrible people win. Thanks for a healthy nights sleep.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
#15
Just trying to help you guys apply the same line of thinking I have to apply on my daily life! We tend to be so wrapped up in our own minds that they start creating all these distortions around reality itself and thus get further and further away from that reality. If you step outside of yourself for a while, you start to notice how little sense some of your thoughts make, just random products of the mind when there's too much free time and you allow the mind to wander. The way I see it, when these odd/paranoid thoughts come up, use logic and rational thinking to overpower them. Do my neighbors spend their day analysing every little movement I make, or secretly conspiring to make me look or sound ridiculous? Hardly. Maybe they're just as nervous as you are when it comes to the possibility of seeing you because they won't know what to say either, you never know. There is so much of the world that you're missing out on because you're focused on what other people might be thinking or doing. Think less, do more. The world's not out to get you, it's just there. You do with it whatever you tell yourself you're able to.
 
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#17
And the weird thing is that it happens alot.
Something like this can seem to happen a lot because we remember it when it happens. There will naturally be times during the day when outside noises will synchronise with your body movements, and if you let it, your brain will place some sort of importance on these occurances. I know someone who said that when they looked at a clock, it would often be the same time and thought it was strange, but that's going to be possible twice a day anyway.

I suggest maybe recording with pen and paper how often it happens versus how often it doesn't - do it for half a day or so and then see if the times you move without a corresponding noise is way less than with, which would be perfectly normal :thumbup:
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
#18
I am not trying to hijack your thread I just saw "neighbors and fear" and could relate.

I have plans now with one of my new neighbors-she is officially my new "Horsey friend" yeah :) I have needed one of those for sooo long. My last one sucked. This lady is a real tough cookie but I think those types are more fun than the good-two-shoes types. Plus she's someone I can learn from. I love to learn more from people with experience. So I got a teacher and a friend and a neighbor wrapped-up in one. Nice!
 

Moses199

Well-known member
#19
Sounds like you need to deliberately make noises every now and then. Good exposure for you.
Yes i've been doing that for the past 2 weeks and i'm not that afraid of making sounds anymore, but i still have my fear of simultaneous sound. I'm not sure if i will need to keep doing exposure longer, maybe 2 weeks isn't enough?
 
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