Are you satisfied with your appearance?

[typewriterx]

I'm horribly unsatisfied, yet I wouldn't change it drastically. It would just be so weird looking into the mirror at a different face etc. I just wish I could make it so I still obviously looked like myself, yet thinner, cuter, better. I think if I was more attractive/whatever, that my social anxiety would decrease greatly. Yet, I've never gotten to that point where I'm satisfied, so maybe I'll never know what it's like. Eh. :/

 

[Halleluja]

I'm close to full self-acceptance. Physical beauty is something you can only improve to a limited degree. I workout 6 days a week ( 3x cardio, 3x weightlifting) and that's pretty much all I'm willing to do to improve my physical beauty.

I do make a distinction between appearance and physical appearance. I believe appearance means so much more than the physicality. It's also about the way you present ( and perceive) yourself. Do you walk with your head up high, with your chin facing forwards and a confident swagger? Or are you looking towards the floor, avoiding eye contact and with your hands in your pockets? I think it's safe to say that the latter person would 'appear' far less attractive.

 

[PennyLane]

Wouldn't it be weird to see yourself from an outside perspective just for a minute. I bet I'd look totally different!

 

[redski]

I do make a distinction between appearance and physical appearance. I believe appearance means so much more than the physicality. It's also about the way you present ( and perceive) yourself. Do you walk with your head up high, with your chin facing forwards and a confident swagger? Or are you looking towards the floor, avoiding eye contact and with your hands in your pockets? I think it's safe to say that the latter person would 'appear' far less attractive.

I think you have the right idea.

To the women that want plastic surgery, come one ladies. Unless
you have some mutation or birth defect why put yourself under a scalpel.
You are just feeding your insecurities, I mean not to offend but don't
you see it that way?

Sure Megan Fox and what ever Hollywood starlet may look pretty on
camera but I am pretty sure when you meet them in person and
actually get to know their personality it might be a very different
picture altogether.
Attraction for me is looks and personality (how you are as a person).

As for me I need to lose some weight as I weigh a little too much.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Oh me too, I'd love to get my nose done. I'm not sure if it came to if I actually would but I stare at it all the time wishing I could get rid of the little bump in it.

I stare at my nose a lot too. Bumps on the nose usually give character to a face but I can't argue with you if you feel unsatisfied with it. I know what it's like to feel unsatisfied with my appearance. In the end, my dissatisfaction has nothing to do with what other people think. I think a bump is easier to fix than the actual shape of one's nostrils or tip. You wouldn't have to worry about not getting the right result if you did go through with the surgery.

I want a more defined nose. It would make my eyes stand out more since I got small eyes from my mom. The part of my nose which I dislike is the part I got from my mom. Our noses look the same especially when we smile and I really don't like to be reminded of my mom when I look at myself. Come to think about it, my smile is like my mom's. I'm not going to say I'm ugly but I get irritated looking in the mirror and seeing my mom. She insists that I look more like my father the older I get. I think I would have turned out better looking had I had my dad's nose, eyes and smile. Yeah...I have issues.

 

[PennyLane]

To the women that want plastic surgery, come one ladies. Unless
you have some mutation or birth defect why put yourself under a scalpel.
You are just feeding your insecurities, I mean not to offend but don't
you see it that way?

I have BDD so I obsess about all my imperfections. I don't think I would ever actually do anything about it though, such as surgery. I am aware enough of my altered perception to know that if I changed something my obsession would just move to another part of my appearance.

My really goal is to accept myself mentally and physically as I am.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I've only had one girl who I hardly knew say I was ugly and horrendous and it cut deep. but thats only one person, the funny thing about it too is that later she said she was sorry and that I wasn't ugly but I never shook it, almost like she never said that last part becuase why would she said the insult in the first place. so I dunno but I still look at myself through the eyes of the person that said that sometimes, like sometimes.

Being called ugly is hard to shake off. I can still remember what that used to feel like. I've been told that I was ugly and felt ugly for most of my life and it surfaces every now and then. When I think back on all of this, I think of how meaningless it is when people say that I am pretty or beautiful. I am reminded that some of these people would probably give me no importance if it wasn't for my looks.

Then I remember the first time a guy (my best friend's older brother whom I used to be madly in love with) said that I was beautiful. I had never felt that special in all of my life! I'm not quite sure that I've ever felt that way since. He was always very kind to me and he never tried taking advantage of the fact that I liked him or that I was younger and naive.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I think you have the right idea.

To the women that want plastic surgery, come one ladies. Unless
you have some mutation or birth defect why put yourself under a scalpel.
You are just feeding your insecurities, I mean not to offend but don't
you see it that way?

I appreciate what you are saying but my true and deepest insecurities stem from how I feel about myself as a person and not my physical appearance. Normally, I am very satisfied with my looks. Not liking my nose has nothing to do with me feeling like I'm not capable of doing this or not good enough to do that or being too afraid to do things. My appearance and what is inside are two distinct things. Otherwise I would get my self-confidence from my looks alone and I would be cocky and feel invincible and ready to take on the world. I wish that it were that simple.

Not liking my nose is extremely minor compared to me not liking my anxiety. My nose isn't going to stop me from living my life. It's not going to stop me from talking to people.

It's much easier to change one's looks than one's mind and heart so changing my looks through surgery is not that big a deal to me.
I know that getting a nose job would not change me as a person. I won't achieve inner peace through rhinoplasty. All it's going to do is make me more happy about my appearance. Also, I've never been afraid of major surgery so I don't think a surgical procedure is extreme.

 

[Jake123]

I've been told my nose is small and pointy, lol

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I've been told my nose is small and pointy, lol

I wish my nose was small and pointy.

 

[redski]

I appreciate what you are saying but my true and deepest insecurities stem from ...

Well you seem very convinced about your choices. Personally I wonder
if you really know yourself at all. Treating your anxiety which you say
is your major problem but changing your appearance just to feel a little
better about yourself (which it is, it is feeling better about your self
not feeling happy about your appearance) when in fact you say you seem not to need
it makes me wonder if there is a whole other underlying issue.
I am by no means judging you, I can only be fair (as I always try to be) since
I am here for my issues. However my advice would be to work on your
"inner" image before you decided about the external alternation.

 

[SplosionDude]

I guess I'm content with my appearance. I don't like certain features (my nose is pretty huge and my hands are freakishly big), but I don't think I'd ever change any of them if I could. They are what make me...me lol.

And anyway, what I look like is the least of my worries right now. I've given up on trying to get a gf. I just want to focus on being more positive about stuf.

 

[Jake123]

I wish my nose was small and pointy.

It's cute on a girl but I don't think guys are supposed to have noses like that... or something... lol. I'm pretty sure I'm self-conscious about everything.

 

[Jannah]

I think I'm average looking sometimes, other times I like my appearance, when I get out of the shower I'm hideous. My problem is my self esteem and confidence, not so much based on my looks.

 

[NightTimeForever]

God no, I probably won't ever be satisfied with my appearance. Even though I have been hit on in RL (years ago, now I get so nervous around women I don't give them the chance). I've posted pics of my face on different forums, and most people say I'm very attractive. My most recent compliment was that I have "superior bone structure" but I would change my entire face/body if I could (I think I am also too thin).

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Well you seem very convinced about your choices. Personally I wonder
if you really know yourself at all. Treating your anxiety which you say
is your major problem but changing your appearance just to feel a little
better about yourself (which it is, it is feeling better about your self
not feeling happy about your appearance) when in fact you say you seem not to need
it makes me wonder if there is a whole other underlying issue.
I am by no means judging you, I can only be fair (as I always try to be) since
I am here for my issues. However my advice would be to work on your
"inner" image before you decided about the external alternation.

I seem convinced of my choices? Yes, I am quite convinced. I don't know myself? So please tell me who I am. What do you think my underlying issue is? How did you not pass judgment on me?

Changing my nose is not going to make my anxiety go away. It's not going to make me feel more competent acedemically, it's not going to cause me to love myself more than I do, it's not going to make me trust people.

It's going to make me happier with my appearance. It's going to make me prettier (at least I think). I know that many people think it's sooo shallow to want to change one's appearance but I am not hurting anyone, I'm not trying to be the fairest of them all, I'm not trying to steal people's boyfriends and I am not trying to be a threat to people or make them feel bad about themselves. My motives may be vain but they are for myself and they are not malicious.

If I had no choice, I wouldn't feel dejected or otherwise hate myself if I had no choice but to live with what I have naturally.

There are things about myself which satisfy me (not refering to my appearance) even if there are other things that I have to work on. My largest challenges are my anxiety and my low self-confidence.

What makes you think that I have not worked on my inner image? I wouldn't be satisfied or proud of half of the things which I love about myself had I not done so. All the things that are good about me now, I have worked on. Only because I am not perfect does not mean that I have never made an effort.

Do you think I'm just one of the stereotypically shallow people who truly only cares about their appearance? I wish I were. Then I could be satisfied with people telling me how pretty I am. Then I wouldn't have to think twice about how I treat people. Would that not be truly shallow? If all I needed was my looks then they would already have taken me far. That goes for many people on this forum.

 

[divethruhaze]

no im not satisfied, but i will have to play with the cards i've been dealt

and serafina, if thats you, just wanted to say that you are really pretty.

 

[Jake123]

I refuse to play with the cards I've been dealt.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

no im not satisfied, but i will have to play with the cards i've been dealt

and serafina, if thats you, just wanted to say that you are really pretty.

I find that the majority of people here are not satisfied but they're still attractive. I would not be surprised if that was the case with you as well.
I have only met one person in my life who was completely satisfied with herself both inside and out and she was a real source of inspiration. I wish everyone in the world knew what it was like to feel like that. She was one of the only people who has always encouraged me and never hated on anyone.

Thank you, btw.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I refuse to play with the cards I've been dealt.

You and me both, brother. Your defiance brings a smile to my face.
Oh and I bet you have a great nose.