There's nothing that says that those of us who enjoy life aren't still struggling on a daily basis. I struggle, a lot, with all types of anxiety...but I don't let it get in the way of my life. Besides, I like being here. Isn't that enough?
are you able to actually enjoy life?
- Thread starter bsammy
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There's nothing that says that those of us who enjoy life aren't still struggling on a daily basis. I struggle, a lot, with all types of anxiety...but I don't let it get in the way of my life. Besides, I like being here. Isn't that enough?
da_illest101
Well-known member
in general i would say between 3 and 5
I could go anywhere from being miserable to happy. But most days I am sorta content. There are a few hobbies and activities I enjoy that bring me bursts of happiness. But overall I am lonely and miserable. No friends, no family really, just feel lost in the real world. Never got the direction or support when I was younger and when I turned into an adult it was still absent.
I know that having no passion for life or not truly just enjoying life, makes me lack motivation. And you need passion and motivation to keep living. Too many people try to find happiness in others or objects and really that is not the place to look. To truly be happy you have to be happy with yourself and what you have. You can't depend on money or a relationship to do that, like others often do.
I know that having no passion for life or not truly just enjoying life, makes me lack motivation. And you need passion and motivation to keep living. Too many people try to find happiness in others or objects and really that is not the place to look. To truly be happy you have to be happy with yourself and what you have. You can't depend on money or a relationship to do that, like others often do.
Ms Cloud
Well-known member
I'm guilty of this. I admit I have the ability to enjoy my day-to-day existence, quite a lot actually. My social anxiety and avoidance have resulted in chronic isolation, but that's not so bad in the scheme of things. Being alone is not an acute form of suffering. Depression yes, but this is not strictly a depression forum.
aftermidnight
Well-known member
I don't know how I do it, because I feel like I should be depressed and like I should feel completely unfulfilled, but I'm usually between an 8 and 10. I think it's because I'm realistic and apathetic. I know that when things are crappy, they're only bound to get better. And when things are good, they're bound to get worse, so I enjoy the good while it's still around.
Kiwong
Well-known member
I have moments and days where my enjoyment of life is very high. Increasingly more and more this last few years. I have moments and days when I feel lost and helpless and hopeless. A lot less the last few years fortunately.
If you'd asked me this question in 2005, I would have said zero. I was at rock bottom and thought I was going to die, I was too debilitated to live, I was only existing.
Right now I'd say in good moments my enjoyment is up to 6-10. I have had moments of happiness I have never experienced before thanks primarily to running returning to my life. Even though I have anxiety I wouldn't want to be born anyone else.
Why am I here on this site? I had a breakdown last year in July as a result of my anxiety, and sought help for my problem, and found this website. My anxiety has improved a lot over that time. I have given and received advice and support to some posters over that time.
I've heard some posters say on another website you're enjoying yourself, you are happy with the genes your parents gave you, well then your anxiety can't be that bad. My reply is that it is easy to generalise. I fought panic attacks for several years, I developed avoidant behaviour, and battled chronic knee pain and haemochromatosis. My life has been anything but easy, but I am still able to enjoy myself, possibly because of the battles I fought and won.
If you'd asked me this question in 2005, I would have said zero. I was at rock bottom and thought I was going to die, I was too debilitated to live, I was only existing.
Right now I'd say in good moments my enjoyment is up to 6-10. I have had moments of happiness I have never experienced before thanks primarily to running returning to my life. Even though I have anxiety I wouldn't want to be born anyone else.
Why am I here on this site? I had a breakdown last year in July as a result of my anxiety, and sought help for my problem, and found this website. My anxiety has improved a lot over that time. I have given and received advice and support to some posters over that time.
I've heard some posters say on another website you're enjoying yourself, you are happy with the genes your parents gave you, well then your anxiety can't be that bad. My reply is that it is easy to generalise. I fought panic attacks for several years, I developed avoidant behaviour, and battled chronic knee pain and haemochromatosis. My life has been anything but easy, but I am still able to enjoy myself, possibly because of the battles I fought and won.
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EscapeArtist
Well-known member
What I have learned in the last 3 years has not ceased to amaze me, I went from having mind and rather fake enjoyment only from mind-numbing video games and no enjoyment from human interaction or simply living to having some enjoyment in little things I would have never felt if I was still in a zombified state, and sometimes even having insane enjoyment from talking to people, and also feeling deep love for people like I never could have imagined. I attribute 80% of it to health related ills that I totally was not on top of 3 years ago, when I had unrecognized food allergies and nutritional deficiencies. It never ceases to amaze me how something like a nutritional deficiency can change how you see the world, how you feel in your body and the extent of which it can change a life. I see it as awakening to a higher level of life, sometimes I'll take a nutrient i'm deficient in and 5 minutes later it feels like a completely different and more beautiful reality. Hmm, my experiences. Not totally on top of things yet but yes, I'm now able to enjoy myself but not as much as I would still like to. And plus the perfectionism still has to go ! That's a very important one too... Everybody works differently, whether you can cure yourself physically, emotionally or both depends on you but you can recover lost happiness, prooomisee.
Yeah, I was asking myself a few years ago, 'Will I ever be able to be happy?' and then a few months or years later, I was... (combination of nutrition and lifestyle changes too) It's still up and down somewhat, I call it being bipolar-ish (though I haven't been 'officially' diagnosed and don't believe in labels that much...)
I believe the only way to truly be happy is to expand the 'zone' and do things that scare you somewhat (as long as they're still okay for you, healthy etc) You may be afraid of it and feel anxiety, and *after* you do it, you feel happy... So it's a process, as 'scary things' change... At least that was my experience..
It's also good to not 'expect' to be happy, just take each day and each challenge as it comes.. (That's what the ACT books say too, interesting to read...)
People in the 'Western civilisation' have been too obsessed with 'happiness'... (and sometimes it has been counterproductive, some 'misery' and some discipline are usually needed to actually get some results or to grow and learn things, valuable life lessons..)
I maybe enjoy life 20%, but when I do, it can be VERY enjoyable, lol, so it's worth it...
Everyone is welcome at this forum, those who have overcome life lessons can give valuable different perspectives and share what helped... It's usually not 'all or nothing', very few people are 100% happy 'all the time', we can all learn from each other... sa can also be very different, some have general sa or only in very specific circumstances...
I believe the only way to truly be happy is to expand the 'zone' and do things that scare you somewhat (as long as they're still okay for you, healthy etc) You may be afraid of it and feel anxiety, and *after* you do it, you feel happy... So it's a process, as 'scary things' change... At least that was my experience..
It's also good to not 'expect' to be happy, just take each day and each challenge as it comes.. (That's what the ACT books say too, interesting to read...)
People in the 'Western civilisation' have been too obsessed with 'happiness'... (and sometimes it has been counterproductive, some 'misery' and some discipline are usually needed to actually get some results or to grow and learn things, valuable life lessons..)
I maybe enjoy life 20%, but when I do, it can be VERY enjoyable, lol, so it's worth it...
Everyone is welcome at this forum, those who have overcome life lessons can give valuable different perspectives and share what helped... It's usually not 'all or nothing', very few people are 100% happy 'all the time', we can all learn from each other... sa can also be very different, some have general sa or only in very specific circumstances...
takethislife
Well-known member
Ah someone finally said it thank you.
Yes, something's wrong with the the good stuff in life/bad stuff in life ratio. Dunno, maybe it's like that for all people but they sure seem to cope with it better..
Niteowl
Well-known member
It might be (it is for me) that the people who are here, but have no problem enjoying themselves, are looking to gain something else out of beating social anxiety. I don't need to get over the anxiety to enjoy myself, I can do the things I enjoy alone, but I need to if I'm to be able to function. That's where my problem lies.
razzle dazzle rose
Well-known member
There are different degrees of SA. Not everyone suffers in the same way either. It doesn't mean one person has it easier than the other. It still does baffle me how some people on this forum can have jobs and marriages and such. Those are such normal things...but I am generalizing. I am so far away from reaching such milestones; my SA is chronic and debilitating at this point. I feel like such a big loser on this forum sometimes...that is me making myself feel that way of course, and no one's fault. Some people have been where I am and have improved. That gives me some hope I can do so myself as well.
I often wonder the same thing myself. Let's hope that what they say is true, and that something will happen for us someday.
You make a good point. Once depression is added to the mix it does make things that much harder. Not everyone who has SA is depressed, but a lot of us are.
I believe that as well. Unfortunately, having SA and depression makes such pursuits almost impossible. It is a vicious circle.
bsebring
Well-known member
I completely get that. In any situation I'm incredibly bored and I'm sure I appear that way so people don't start a conversation with me. At this point my rating falls under a 2
Hastings & Main
Well-known member
I'm 42 and I didn't even know what this thing I have was called until I found this site a little over a year ago.
Up until that time, I felt like I would never get out of this some-days-good, some-days-really-bad life.
After finding a name for this thing we have and being on the site for a year, I'm about 25% better than ever before, and it's growing every day since I've taken advice and viewpoints from many posts and used it to see a slowly-opening window of daylight in this rut I'm in. It's like in a movie, when a character is desperately trying to climb a muddy hill in a downpour: make some progress, slide back a bit. Like in the movie, you'll eventually hit the top, but it'll take a LOT of work.
I plan on doing CBT and seeing a therapist in the near future to help kick it along.
So, yes, more and more I'm enjoying life.
Up until that time, I felt like I would never get out of this some-days-good, some-days-really-bad life.
After finding a name for this thing we have and being on the site for a year, I'm about 25% better than ever before, and it's growing every day since I've taken advice and viewpoints from many posts and used it to see a slowly-opening window of daylight in this rut I'm in. It's like in a movie, when a character is desperately trying to climb a muddy hill in a downpour: make some progress, slide back a bit. Like in the movie, you'll eventually hit the top, but it'll take a LOT of work.
I plan on doing CBT and seeing a therapist in the near future to help kick it along.
So, yes, more and more I'm enjoying life.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Yeah, there's different degrees of social anxiety. I have a job and don't usually have a problem in conversation, but that doesn't mean I don't have it. I know a woman who's married with several kids and who works at a dental clinic, who's in her 40's easily, and she's constantly nervous and shy and never goes to parties or get-togethers. But she lives a relatively normal life otherwise.
Oh, and you're not a loser. We all love you. How many times should I repeat that before you start believing it?
Invisibleman
Well-known member
not really,atleast not lately.
m hastings and main-im curious as to how you deal with all of thw wasted time up until now?sure its pointless to think about but our past is what makes our present and when the past is filled with nothingness, ugghh.
im like mikeyc-i work 5 days a week and i CAN socialize and do socialize but i still have bits of SA and apd and trust by the time the work day gets over, im exhausted not from the physical work but from the socializing..it just zaps me of all life energy.
bsebring-its a very vicious cycle in order to be attractive or 'fun' you must portray a fun somewhat outgoing attitude or you will get nowhere.when you have SA and depression it is beyond hard to maintain that facade.i can do it for tiny amounts of time but thats it.i really have noi clue how to get around this obstacle..
razzle dazzle saisd it best, having goals is fine but with SA and depression ones motivation usually is awful..with depression nothing is as good as it should be, not much seems woerthwhile and when you have SA ontop of it, man its awful..it has ruined my life.i cant imagine where i would be without these afflictions.oh maybe out enjoying life instead of sitting here typing on my comp.
im like mikeyc-i work 5 days a week and i CAN socialize and do socialize but i still have bits of SA and apd and trust by the time the work day gets over, im exhausted not from the physical work but from the socializing..it just zaps me of all life energy.
bsebring-its a very vicious cycle in order to be attractive or 'fun' you must portray a fun somewhat outgoing attitude or you will get nowhere.when you have SA and depression it is beyond hard to maintain that facade.i can do it for tiny amounts of time but thats it.i really have noi clue how to get around this obstacle..
razzle dazzle saisd it best, having goals is fine but with SA and depression ones motivation usually is awful..with depression nothing is as good as it should be, not much seems woerthwhile and when you have SA ontop of it, man its awful..it has ruined my life.i cant imagine where i would be without these afflictions.oh maybe out enjoying life instead of sitting here typing on my comp.
Misanthropic Anthropoid
Member
Usually after ingesting copius amounts of alcohol.
but i agree with some other responses, i tolerate existence in general.
When i was a teen i was generally confused about why i wasnt enjoyin the things other people enjoyed ten years later i know im prob never gunna be happy about life. But ide rather be true to myself than the 90% of society that makes out they are having a great life just because they are too insecure to admit otherwise. This is what i love about facebook, people smiling and happy in all there pictures making a s*** night out look like the best night ever clealry so others can look on with envy.
i mite start posting pics of myself alone in my room with a bottle of vodka and a rope in my hand
I now live by shopenhauers philosophy. The secret to happiness is low expectations.
peace
but i agree with some other responses, i tolerate existence in general.
When i was a teen i was generally confused about why i wasnt enjoyin the things other people enjoyed ten years later i know im prob never gunna be happy about life. But ide rather be true to myself than the 90% of society that makes out they are having a great life just because they are too insecure to admit otherwise. This is what i love about facebook, people smiling and happy in all there pictures making a s*** night out look like the best night ever clealry so others can look on with envy.
i mite start posting pics of myself alone in my room with a bottle of vodka and a rope in my hand
I now live by shopenhauers philosophy. The secret to happiness is low expectations.
peace
misanthropic is correct, i have found the only way for me to somewhat come closer to reaching contentment is by lowering my expectations(alot).im never going to be a 'people' person, im never going to be outgoing or extroverted.im never going to enjoy planning huge vacations with groups of friends etc etc.that simply isnt me, never will be.but the problem i have is i enjoy so few things its hard to base a 'life' off of.
fitting into society with these borders is very rough i find.hence the avoidance.
fitting into society with these borders is very rough i find.hence the avoidance.
Not so much but i'm working on that.