Are you a virgin?
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Felgen
Well-known member
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Same here. Not ashamed to admit. I just find it quite depressing that anxiety is holding me back. :
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OceanMist
Well-known member
What really pissed me off when I was a virgin was when people tried to tell me how easy it is to get laid. It's not easy, and it's 10 times harder when you have SAD.
I wasn't okay with getting a hooker, I hate it when people say, "just get a hooker, dude." Sorry, I'm not interested in having sex with a woman that has had hundreds of men inside her. It defeats the whole purpose of connecting with the woman and also defeats finding meaning in sex. Not to mention a serious STD risk. Oh yeah, and it's illegal practically everywhere in the US. Oh yeah, and it costs a lot of money.
The only reason I even got laid was because I lowered my standards significantly in the looks department of the female. After having gone through with that, I've looked ahead to the future and it's even more depressing now because I want to fall in love with an attractive woman that I love but that would require going out and socializing with a bunch of people which I hate doing.
I wasn't okay with getting a hooker, I hate it when people say, "just get a hooker, dude." Sorry, I'm not interested in having sex with a woman that has had hundreds of men inside her. It defeats the whole purpose of connecting with the woman and also defeats finding meaning in sex. Not to mention a serious STD risk. Oh yeah, and it's illegal practically everywhere in the US. Oh yeah, and it costs a lot of money.
The only reason I even got laid was because I lowered my standards significantly in the looks department of the female. After having gone through with that, I've looked ahead to the future and it's even more depressing now because I want to fall in love with an attractive woman that I love but that would require going out and socializing with a bunch of people which I hate doing.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
This is the main reason I have yet to get laid.
I'd have to be really desperate to even consider losing my virginity to a hooker.
AsTimeBurns
Well-known member
Yup. 24. Never even kissed a girl. None have ever shown the slightest bit of interest in me, which is unsurprising. I like to kid myself sometimes that maybe I'm actually normal and I'll find someone eventually, but all it does is make it hurt even more when I realise it won't. Healthiest thing to do would be to learn to just accept it and focus my life on other things, rather than moping.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
There's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't find someone, but if you write it off as something that will never happen then there's a very real chance of that outcome becoming self-fulfilling.
Felgen
Well-known member
The 10% of the male population who get 90% of the single female population think it's easy. Everyone else (SA or not) is awkward at picking up girls at a bar.
That being said, getting laid is much, much easier than getting a successful relationship. It's usually the guy who's madly in love with the chick or vice verca; the odds of finding someone who's just as much in love with you as you are in her aren't that great--so it's most certainly a numbers game.
... And by the way: Sex is the most expensive when it's free.
MikeyC
Well-known member
You called?
twiggle
Well-known member
Felgen
Well-known member
I'm not a virgin, but not being one doesn't make somebody 'better' than anybody else, particularly when you've just gone and lost it with any old person to make you feel better about yourself.
I am more likely to want a date a virgin who's happy with who they are than a non-virgin who doesn't appreciate sex for what it really is.
But that's all I'll say on the matter, because last time I expressed this kind of opinion, I got flamed down and was told that, despite me being a woman, I don't really understand what women want
Women have different tastes; some don't mind if a guy is a virgin--others see it as the biggest red flag there is. Thus, a man will broaden his options a lot by losing his virginity... and by putting too much emotions into casual sex or a short-term relationship ("oneitis"), a man will get hurt.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Hehehehe.
IrishRampage
Member
Yep, I'm 16 though so I'm not to worried about it. In fact, I would rather have a loving relationship without losing it rather than a "one night stand", I would feel kinda bad if I threw it away like it was nothing -__-
OceanMist
Well-known member
... And by the way: Sex is the most expensive when it's free.
I'm not sure what you mean by that?
twiggle
Well-known member
Anybody can get hurt, not just the man. There should always be emotion in sex. It's a personal, intimate thing regardless of whether or not there are strings-attached to the relationship. You are showing somebody something very personal - that's bound to create some emotion, no?
And I know some women aren't keen on virgins, but I'm just not sure why any self-respecting man would want to go out with any woman capable of saying, 'You'd be the guy of my dreams if you weren't a virgin, so this is a no-go'.
You speak of opening up options but if a relationship hinged on whether or not you were a virgin, that sounds like something far more likely to hurt you than the sex during a short-term relationship.
Felgen
Well-known member
If there's always emotions involved in sex, then one of the parts may use it against the other part. You shoul suppress the feelings you have for a sex partner until you trust them completely.
I don't really get why sex is something very personal. Homo sapiens sapiens have existed for roughly 100 000 years; monogamous relationships for slightly more than 5000 years.
Plenty of good women let MTV and reality shows dictate what's attractive and since virginity according to the media is the ultimate sign of being a loser (and having slept with more than 50 women is cool), a lot of women will think that it is. I'm not saying that you let the media dictate anything about your preferences (or that you watch reality shows, for that matter), but a lot of girls below 30 do.
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twiggle
Well-known member
That's fine if you just want meaningless sex and not a relationship.
I think it's personal, but you have a point and I guess it's a matter of personal opinion.
And women like that would be a massive catch and a great lover
Isn't a guy who feels as though he shouldn't be a virgin making the same mistake though? Letting MTV and reality shows dictate to him that he shouldn't be a virgin? If a guy feels like that then perhaps he should work on his other insecurities first before using a random woman to make him feel better about himself, with no real consideration as to how the woman feels about it? ('Emotionless sex')
Sorry Felgen, I'm not meaning to direct this at you personally because I don't really know what your personal opinions are - you are just stating what is true of many people in the world, I just don't understand why so many people think that way.