lifeasitcouldbe
Banned
Just wondering. It seems likely there would be more insecure people among gays, given society's underlying attitude toward us.
Are any of you gay?
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lifeasitcouldbe
Banned
I don't know how bad your SA is, but I envy and admire you for having managed to find a relationship nevertheless. It's something I can't possibly ever do.
^ My social anxiety is pretty bad alright. It doesn't prevent me from interacting with people if I really have to. But it does completely stop me from opening up for things like relationships (even on friend level).
It was by pure chance that I got to find someone. It actually began with somewhat of a fight due to a misunderstanding. But after that we got to be online friends, and two years later it bloomed into this. It's not perfect though, we both suffer from very different types of problems, making clashes and friction inevitable. But that's okay, what relationship doesn't have problems, right?
Opportunities hide within the smallest corners and cracks. I too thought I'd never be in a relationship, nor did I want- or dared to. But yet, here I am. I found that, with SA, it's better to not look for a relationship directly. But more for a friendship that is given free space to bloom. It's a lot less stressful then dating around, for me at least. You can't force love after all, and especially when anxious it can be hard to develop emotions of that nature. Friendship = Time = Comfort = Freedom = Change (in emotion), if you will. :3
What I'm trying to say is; Don't be so hard on yourself. You'll get there when you get there. You can't force love/affection, so why try? Give it time. Even if you really can't do it now, that doesn't say much about the future. ;3
It was by pure chance that I got to find someone. It actually began with somewhat of a fight due to a misunderstanding. But after that we got to be online friends, and two years later it bloomed into this. It's not perfect though, we both suffer from very different types of problems, making clashes and friction inevitable. But that's okay, what relationship doesn't have problems, right?
Opportunities hide within the smallest corners and cracks. I too thought I'd never be in a relationship, nor did I want- or dared to. But yet, here I am. I found that, with SA, it's better to not look for a relationship directly. But more for a friendship that is given free space to bloom. It's a lot less stressful then dating around, for me at least. You can't force love after all, and especially when anxious it can be hard to develop emotions of that nature. Friendship = Time = Comfort = Freedom = Change (in emotion), if you will. :3
What I'm trying to say is; Don't be so hard on yourself. You'll get there when you get there. You can't force love/affection, so why try? Give it time. Even if you really can't do it now, that doesn't say much about the future. ;3
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lifeasitcouldbe
Banned
I think you're very right about not looking for relationships directly.
I've never tried dating online. I don't think I can fall in love over the internet, in part because most guys on those sites are really ugly.
But dating sites are the only way for me to find other gay people because where I live is really conservative and no one is out of the closet.
So I keep falling in love with guys I see in college/at work etc. but most of them are of course straight, and even if they were gay that wouldn't make it any easier for me to approach them because I have a very low self-esteem and don't feel that I deserve to be loved, the thought of my crush loving me back actually scares me.
I've never tried dating online. I don't think I can fall in love over the internet, in part because most guys on those sites are really ugly.
But dating sites are the only way for me to find other gay people because where I live is really conservative and no one is out of the closet.
So I keep falling in love with guys I see in college/at work etc. but most of them are of course straight, and even if they were gay that wouldn't make it any easier for me to approach them because I have a very low self-esteem and don't feel that I deserve to be loved, the thought of my crush loving me back actually scares me.
Falkor
1
Cool topic! I´m a lezzy, 100 %
I have a same sex relationship also!
People are cool with it, they don't see it as a problem, they accept me.
Hey Blackpuma, never seen you coming out here, Never knew you were bisexual!
Respect
I think it could be hard to be gay in this society, but with the right people you feel good with it It's just how other people act on it. My family/friends are OK with it. But some people are just really homophobic. :/
But I'm glad I am this way, it's what i'm borned like =)
I have a same sex relationship also!
People are cool with it, they don't see it as a problem, they accept me
.Hey Blackpuma, never seen you coming out here, Never knew you were bisexual!
Respect
I think it could be hard to be gay in this society, but with the right people you feel good with it
It's just how other people act on it. My family/friends are OK with it. But some people are just really homophobic. :/But I'm glad I am this way, it's what i'm borned like =)
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galigator8509
Active member
I am bisexual.
Im currently dating the man of my dreams though! <3
Im currently dating the man of my dreams though!
<3Cool topic! I´m a lezzy, I'm not 100 % sure though, I don't think boys are ew, but a girl can only steal my heart. But I can find boys attractive.
I have a same sex relationship also!
People are cool with it, they don't see it as a problem, they accept me.
Hey Blackpuma, never seen you coming out here, Never knew you were bisexual!
Respect
I think it could be hard to be gay in this society, but with the right people you feel good with it
But I'm glad I am this way, it's what i'm borned like =)
Oh, c'mon! You must've noticed something was up.
Ah well, fair enough. I didn't knew about you either. :3+Respect right back at yah.
panicsurvivor
Well-known member
Ok straight as an arrow, but I got a lot of gay friends and I got put my two cents in on gay people being more succeptable to SA or other problems. I gotta go ahead and disagree with ya on that one. Gay people are not a different species, as much as some *******s may say they are. They are just as stupid or smart or brave or cowardly as the next person. One of my best friends for years was gay and full of mental problems, SA, panic, PTSD, you name it. He was also very smart, which is what I think gave him these problems. Society being hard on gays doesn't make a difference either. Again gay people react to this in there own ways, some of them will develop SA, but others will be fighters and stand up for themselves because they are confrontational and have a strong sense of justice and right and wrong. Others will just keep there sexuallity private and not worry about it. And still others will go totally flaming and overcompensate and do whatever they can to agitate lame stiff bigots. In short, gay people will react to society's harsh treatment of them the way straight people would, like people. SA and other problems like it come to people who are overly sensitive and overly intelligent.
lavender
Well-known member
I think I mostly agree with panicsurvivor.
I'm a lesbian, but my SA has never really been affected by it. I've always been very confident about my sexuality, even when I used to get beat up for it middle school. I think because I know there's nothing wrong with that part of me, and no one can convince me other wise.
I think my only concern is being a minority with the psychological problems I have, I imagine it would make it a lot harder to find someone.. but maybe I'm wrong, seeing as a few of you are already in relationships
I'm a lesbian, but my SA has never really been affected by it. I've always been very confident about my sexuality, even when I used to get beat up for it middle school. I think because I know there's nothing wrong with that part of me, and no one can convince me other wise.
I think my only concern is being a minority with the psychological problems I have, I imagine it would make it a lot harder to find someone.. but maybe I'm wrong, seeing as a few of you are already in relationships
forksandspoons
Well-known member
Wow so many gays and bi's here
I am strait as can be and can't imagine what it would be like living in a society that didn't approve of my sexual orientation. However, I don't see how it links to having SA. People are supposed to be comfortable with their sexuality (lavender being a good example). If being gay doesn't feel right and makes you uncomfortable, then you just may not actually be gay.
I am strait as can be and can't imagine what it would be like living in a society that didn't approve of my sexual orientation. However, I don't see how it links to having SA. People are supposed to be comfortable with their sexuality (lavender being a good example). If being gay doesn't feel right and makes you uncomfortable, then you just may not actually be gay.
Wow so many gays and bi's here
I am strait as can be and can't imagine what it would be like living in a society that didn't approve of my sexual orientation. However, I don't see how it links to having SA. People are supposed to be comfortable with their sexuality. If being gay doesn't feel right and makes you uncomfortable, then you just may not actually be gay.
I think society nowadays approve more gays than straight people.
Christians, straight people and conservatives are the new minority.
forksandspoons
Well-known member
wat
Where are you from? That is not the way it is in America. Gays are very much still in the minority. They can't even gain the right to marry one another. What religion is the new majority here? When did Christianity become a minority? Did I sleep through something? Or is this just another one of your posts where you pretend like you know what you are talking about?
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EscapeArtist
Well-known member
i'm a lesbian
eugh I hate that word though.
eugh I hate that word though.
Kiwong
Well-known member
I kind of wish I was asexual or platonic. I'd get a lot more done that way not thinking about sex when it rears its ugly head like an itch that needs scratching. I see my sexuality as a extension of my low self esteem in some ways.
I'm probably 30% to 70% on the Kinsey scale of sexuality. I say that because I fell in love with another boy when I was 12, and I have fallen in unrequited love with several women over the years. Actually I'm probably more sexually repressed than gay or straight if I had to be honest.
Last week I ran a race with open lady runners. It was old slow blokes like me against superbly fit female athletes. Standing next to those lady athletes I realised that I am not gay, I was shaking and shy like an adolescent and was only capable of speaking fluent gibberish.
I'm probably 30% to 70% on the Kinsey scale of sexuality. I say that because I fell in love with another boy when I was 12, and I have fallen in unrequited love with several women over the years. Actually I'm probably more sexually repressed than gay or straight if I had to be honest.
Last week I ran a race with open lady runners. It was old slow blokes like me against superbly fit female athletes. Standing next to those lady athletes I realised that I am not gay, I was shaking and shy like an adolescent and was only capable of speaking fluent gibberish.
michaelkaz
Member
I like girls but they're so hard to talk to ::
Sometimes I just prefer to be around guys.
:Sometimes I just prefer to be around guys.
vernski
Member
I am not gay but I have a lot of love for them. My Aunt is gay as is her bestfriend whom I have know for a good part of my life. My bestfriend of 8 years is a gay man. I also have a few gay online friends. They all have their own quirks, but not one of them has SA that I know of. The only other person I know that has SA is my very hetero half-sister. I have to agree with the lot of them, I don't think that SA is more confined to any one group of people.
bi, but I don't have luck with either of the sexes. ::
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