anyone else feel this way about marriage

[Waybuloo]

I worry about the speech, the standing in front of everyone, not enough people turning up, most of all all the attention on me, how I look, my dress etc...etch, it's all a big show

1/ I won't get married unless the tax advantages seem more promising
2/ Even if I do we'll elope and have a holiday-cum wedding

 

[Emily_G]

IMO people worry WAY too much about their weddings. I was a pretty laid back kind of bride, and I am glad I was that way. It's one day, a special day...but still only one day out of the rest of your lives with this person. Be nice, be flexible, just enjoy it...don't worry about little details, in 30 yrs living with the same person...it won't matter how many groomsmen/bridesmaids you have, it won't matter if the cake filling was strawberry instead of raspberry, it won't mtater if you spelled one of your bridesmaids names wrong in the program (we did this, lol, oops).

 

[Fighter86]

In Asian countries, it is the norm to have wedding dinners after you have registered your marriage. Its just the done thing, I've never met anyone who hasen't done it. But for myself personally, if I do get married I don't have the intention to do it, partly because I think its such a waste of money (it costs tens of thousands even for a non lavish one), and most importantly, I really don't have anyone to invite, and that would seem strange to all those relatives present that I don't have friends wouldn't it?

 

[mummylala]

Interestingly, I've even heard of people getting married without any bridesmaids or groomsmen at all!!!

Me!!! i did this, went to local town hall and pulled two people from the street as witnesses.. I couldnt be bothered with all the family arguments and bickering lol

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Me!!! i did this, went to local town hall and pulled two people from the street as witnesses.. I couldnt be bothered with all the family arguments and bickering lol

Good idea!

Getting married is about the two people involved. Everything and everyone else is really just superfluous.

 

[EasySkanking]

I don't want to get married... I just don't think it's neccesary or very realistic to do it. It seems that most marriages don't work out and if they do manage to stick together, still the remaining couples cheat on each other and stuff. Personally, from the people that I know, I have seen NO couples ever that are truly happy and loyal to each other.... so it leads me to believe that the best way is to not marry.

I'd rather be together with someone for 30 years without being married. I think there's better chances that way of things working about than if we were married. But then again, I'm sure when I do find someone that special, I'm going to do everything she tells me to - so if she wants to get married, then **** it - i'LL DO IT lol ::

 

[Whychosis]

I'd liked to get married someday but one of my fears is that I won't have enough groomsmen for the brides maids. I know this is a weird post but this is the type of stuff I think about.

Soon as you get married and get through this concern, you'll never think about it again. The constant work that you have to put into a happy marriage will completely eclipse something such as this. You'll wonder why it even crossed your mind in the first place.

 

[Pookah]

I like to dress up so I think I'd like to have a smallish wedding. Probably just have a best man and a maid of honor.

 

[Anomaly]

I don't plan on getting married.

 

[Solitude]

Meh, I think big weddings are overrated. I hate seeing people dump tons of cash and plan for months and months for a big wedding. I'd rather use that money and take a nice honeymoon trip instead.

 

[Whychosis]

Meh, I think big weddings are overrated. I hate seeing people dump tons of cash and plan for months and months for a big wedding. I'd rather use that money and take a nice honeymoon trip instead.

Agreed. My wife and I got married by my grandfather in my grandparents living room. Cost us nothing, except for the marriage license.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I like to dress up so I think I'd like to have a smallish wedding. Probably just have a best man and a maid of honor.

That sounds really sweet.

I sometimes look at the wedding suits in shop windows and think that it would be nice to have an excuse to wear one of those. Dressing up in rather ornate clothes is fun.

 

[Pookah]

That sounds really sweet.

I sometimes look at the wedding suits in shop windows and think that it would be nice to have an excuse to wear one of those. Dressing up in rather ornate clothes is fun.

Weddings to me are just a chance to have a little formal ceremony for yourself and your partner that declares to family members your intention to be "official." I think it is nice to have special moments in life like that to remember.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Weddings to me are just a chance to have a little formal ceremony for yourself and your partner that declares to family members your intention to be "official." I think it is nice to have special moments in life like that to remember.

I agree. I think too many weddings are turned into such huge affairs, often more than a year in the planning, that what the ceremony is actually about gets lost in all of that.

 

[harlseq]

You can get married without any of that... many people choose to get married in tiny ceremonies with just the bride, groom, and an officiator. If push comes to shove though just have your or the bride's male relatives step in.

 

[awkwardamanda]

It seems that most marriages don't work out

I don't think marriage in itself is the problem. It's just that too many people settle for being married instead of being happily married. A lot of people get married too young, too soon and for the wrong reasons. I think some people just get to a point in life where they think they should be married and just stick it out with whoever they're with. Or, (and women are especially bad for this) they'll think time is running out and they want to have kids and will marry the wrong person so they can have a family. No thanks. I'll take being lonely over spending my life with someone I'm not happy with. I guess for some it's a toss up between being less unhappy alone or less unhappy in an unloving relationship. But then, people do fall in and out of love. It happens. Some people really do believe they're happy and maybe they are for a period of time. Sometimes people change, feelings change, and situations change. But I still think that people in general should be more careful about if, who, and when they marry. I think the divorce rate (i.e. % of marriages that end in divorce) would be lower if there were fewer marriages to begin with.

 

[Anomaly]

I think the divorce rate (i.e. % of marriages that end in divorce) would be lower if there were fewer marriages to begin with.

Generally, expressing the notion that marriage in the way it is generally carried out is a bad idea would be to identify oneself as a psychopath to society. I don't think the number of marriages is going down anytime soon (in proportion to population) even with MRA movements and the like kept in mind.

 

[awkwardamanda]

Generally, expressing the notion that marriage in the way it is generally carried out is a bad idea would be to identify oneself as a psychopath to society. I don't think the number of marriages is going down anytime soon (in proportion to population) even with MRA movements and the like kept in mind.

Lol, well I guess they can think I'm a psychopath then. There's no reason I have to agree with or conform to everything society in general considers to be normal. But really, they'll think what they want, but I do have a conscience.

 

[quietkiwi]

I still think marriage is relevant if you find the right person, think it becomes too big of an event sometimes though, if that makes people happy all good, but I don't like societies expectations of big weddings. What worries me most is the talking in front of a group of people, vows, speeches etc, but again it's only for a day like some have said.

 

[EasySkanking]

I honestly don't think it's very easy finding "the right person". I think we probably have a better chance of finding a needled in a haystack or winning the lottery .

I just don't think 2 people are meant to be that close for such a long time ("forever") boredome just kicks in... specially with the way society makes us feel and think. I think it's very rare to find a couple that not only has stuck with each other, loves each other but are also loyal to each other.... it's just very hard to accomplish all those things, imo. So far, I have yet to see a couple that has all the above things...

Oh you got some good points amanda... thought I had posted this already - but guess not.

Besides, marriage is a "religous" thing (at least in the way I would have to go about it)...and I'm not "religious" - so I wouldn't do it, unless the girl I was with really wanted me to... and if I truly extremly loved her... but that's wishing for too much, tbh. Don't think I'm ever getting married, unless I do something stupid! ;-) Or I get very very lucky....