I get this. an example, when some boy in my class started having a go at me for no reason (he has attitude problems) when i got angry back at him i dont feel shy anymore and i feel like my normal self. but after wards i feel horrible.
Does anyone else have any experiences like this?
Anger is good! Well, it's not great, but it's totally a step up from anxiety any day. Personally I don't really get angry, but that's really bad. I had a horrendous temper as a child and was told I needed to learn to control it, so I just stopped getting angry, which eventually turned into depression and not standing up for myself. And I know what you mean about feeling horrible afterward, in the rare times that I do get angry (I'm trying to learn to get angry again) I get that. Feeling angry can be so painful, I think because you're filling with adrenaline and you suddenly stop releasing it. Adrenaline feels so toxic when you don't expend it. It reminds me of this thing called "somatic experiencing therapy".
It's based on the idea that when a gazelle gets chased by a lion and survives, it doesn't have a complex for the rest of it's life. What it DOES is to buck and kick and run around until all the adrenaline's gone, then it just goes back to grazing. As humans, our brains tell us what to do so we don't have that instant reactionary instinct to help. What the therapy does is try to help people who've been through trauma to release it.
I have a few friends who've done this and say it's incredible. One friend (who's father was so awful to him his whole life, he actually pushed him out a second story window!) said he probably wouldn't be alive without it. I haven't personally tried it yet, the closest place to do it is a bit too far. I'd like to give it a go someday, though. Maybe you'd like it? Here's a link, if you're interested:
Foundation for Human Enrichment- Trauma Healing
