Acquired or inhereted?

[sahxox]

Can anyone pinpoint the cause of their social phobia? E.g. In primary school, i was the almost annoying know it all who always yelled out the answer. Once i went to middle school, suddenly i became almost paralysed in class; could be from the stupid advice from older girls that no-one will like you or you'll be 'uncool' etc. Now i am almost finished high school (2 weeks left lol) and in an environment where to be smart is to be respected... Only issue is my social phobia has developed so much that to say an answer in class is abouy 8/10 on my fear scale so is it an acquired thing or something to do with genetics? Because there is one person in every generation prior to mine with the same story. Lucky me

 

[tinkerpunk5802]

Probably a little bit of both for me. My father has it. But I also feel like some things that have happened to me have pushed it even more than it would have been by itself.

 

[JuiceB]

I'm the only person in my family that I know of.

 

[EitherOr]

While there is a history of mental illness on both sides of my family, it's usually depression, anxiety, or OCD. I feel that, perhaps, social anxiety may not have much of a genetic link, as it may depend upon the person. I wouldn't rule it out, however. I feel that if a parent has it, he or she may influence his or her children to have it through imitated behaviors.

For me, it started when I had a really rough teacher in 4th grade that made me so nervous to the point that I'd vomit everyday before class. It intensified when I was bullied from 5th grade until starting high school. I also started developing anxiety, OCD, and depression in 3rd grade, so they all coexisted and made each other worse. The OCD, depression, and anxiety definitely run in my family, so I would even say a genetic link is likely.

 

[bcsr]

some of both, but most as acquired. i isolated myself because of my poor self-image.

my mom had social anxiety, but i didn't know about that until I was in my 20's.

 

[Hastings & Main]

I think: both.

My mother was psych-abused and left home at 15 (this was in the 50's, harsh time to be running away), and my dad is naturally reserved and most likely partially SP.
However, I am naturally emotionally hyper-sensitive and had some teasing done in the early grades, so that most likely had an effect.

I would say that sometimes these things are like a cocktail drink. A very nasty drink that you refuse to pay for, but stays with you anyways: a mixture of social stamping at an early age, and biology.

Wish I had a better bartender.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Can anyone pinpoint the cause of their social phobia?

Yeah, I know exactly how it came about. And it all makes sense. Everything has lead up to this. Now I just wanna work on overcoming it.

 

[Gaucho]

i would say inherited, but until 13 i was able to have a social fulfilling life, even if in many situations i felt out of place, scared, etc etc. but slowly i started to lose friends, stopped being "social", stopped being in a sports club at 17. when i realized that i have nearly nothing left and am in a big black whole. the funny thing is i never realized all that until i discovered Social phobia, which was at 18.

 

[Starry]

Inherited for me, probably... I was like it before I even started school... I wouldn't even play on swings at the park if other children were around! Apparently, one of my cousins on my father's side (Who I never met as my father died when I was just 7 months old) was very "quiet and reclusive" and "Didn't like people and wouldn't speak to them"... Apparently, my dad mostly brought him up as he didn't get on with his father, my uncle.

Of course, perhaps my confidence was shattered when I was just 7 months old... When my father died my mother went through a bout of severe depression which lasted until I was around 3 or 4... Then there was a problem with the will (My father hadn't gotten around to changing it, so everything went to his ex-wife) so I was dragged around to solicitors and in one case which I still remember and which scared me a lot at the time (I was maybe 2 and a half or 3): My mother went to my uncle's house and was shouting at the windows (I don't know why exactly, just that it was to do with the fact we were going to be thrown out of our home). She then opened his unlocked car and sat in there beeping the horn repeatedly, she was also threatening to kill herself... We eventually went back home and I was sitting on her bed cuddling her, feeling scared, when the police turned up which resulted in a lot of shouting... I don't remember anything else about the incident... But if things like that were commonplace, I suppose it wouldn't be a surprise I lost confidence very young...

I have no doubt that it was my mother's threats of killing herself (Which were frequent!) which led to my abandonment issues... Which led to me being a very clingy child... I hated not having her in my sight... So it is possible that everything is connected to my very early childhood, I suppose...

 

[Morada]

I had nurture issues almost from the day I was born. My mother and father were cheating on one another while they were married and I found out a few years ago my sister (the pretty one and closest to my age) had a different father. Both my grandmother and my mother were very toxic to me (my mother still is) about not meeting up to my sister's physical beauty.

When I got Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in the 90s, I found I really didn't want to be out in society. When I was out getting groceries I'd be able to feel everyone's emotions and it was very uncomfortable because there are a LOT of toxic emotions out there. I had never had an anxiety attack though before the CFS.

My father was a homebody, but he loved a good get together and my mother was a social butterfly so I don't think it was inherited.

 

[Section_31]

I think its a combo. My mother is charitably described as messed up. She had very similiar antisocial tendencies and hated people. I somewhat do too and ive always been this way.. But then there were experiences later in life which i think only amplified what was already present.

 

[Labyrinthine]

For me, I believe I aquired it along the way. My dad's side of the family has a history of mental disorders, but it's mainly biopolar. I had always been a shy child, but it was manageable; I always had a strong group of friends and could charm most folks. It wasn't until events started unfolding that social anxiety kicked in. Events such as the betrayal of close friends, the onset of my dad's PTSD, and ultimately my issue with migraines that led me to being hospitalized. It all went downhill from there.

 

[laure15]

I think social phobia is partly aquired and partly inherited. Social phobia seems to run in my family because I think my brother has it. Also, I have 5 uncles who work as auto mechanics and several cousins who work in accounting; it seems like my relatives choose careers that have little or no contact with people (avoidant personality disorder?).

OMG, I also yell out answers when I was in primary school; I just love to do it, but it annoyed some classmates. But after primary school, I started becoming more aware of my surroundings and realize that some people don't like the way I act, so I started trying to change myself. I became more self-conscious.

For some reason, people don't physically accept me as a leader even when I make an effort. I was always the weirdo in class, someone who doesn't really fit in. But it's weird that when I do online projects and I act as the leader, people are more welcoming vs when I do it in person. My online persona is much more 'sociable' compared to my offline persona.

 

[mikebird]

Dad apparently has SA, but I never knew his parents. All dead when I was born

From my perspective, Mum was the glowing, outgoing, kind one, and did all that for Dad, in The Second World War.

My two brothers, 30 years senior, were just like Mum. One is dead. The remaining one says he sees a lot of Dad in me.

A few years ago I encouraged Dad to use Skype to speak to me, which he now does, about every day, as we're both alone. We are in different counties, and 75 miles apart, with a 50 year age difference.

I woke to a vivid dream this morning, that I saw my dead Mum, who was living in a really nice new house. We both said 'come on - we have to go - it's Dad's funeral'. The dream gave me quite pleasant tears, for a long time.

Over life, my SA seemed evident to my brothers' wives and others. All people and situations are all different - school, etc. I've had confidence with certain people. It's taken me a while to see the overall bad side of me.

Dad keeps telling me not to shout and get angry with people. I seemed to upset my parents and criticise them a lot. I saw them as the most stupid people I ever knew. The outside world has collapsed in onto me. Every person is there to prevent me from getting what I want. All my intentions are pure, friendly, kind, helpful. Nobody listens. Nobody wants to know.

 

[kilojoule]

My mother was sent to a psychiatric hospital at 19 ....but I think that's just what they did in those days with rebellious girls who refused to toe the line....I don't know.

They say my grandmother was bipolar....I don't know about that. My mother said she had post partum depression...either way her body was found washed up on a beach in the 60s and nobody knows what happened. People seem to be of the opinion that she jumped off a cliff.

Nobody to really ask these things, everyone's dead.

My father lives and works within a one mile radius. He drinks a lot of alcohol and doesn't really have friends.


I think my problems stem from my parents unhappy marriage. My father was quite cruel. I never had confidence. But I think I would have been ok. I think I would have developed 'normally' except for the difficult events I lived through. I don't think it's inherited.....maybe the tendency....but I think circumstance has led me to this.


But anyway, I'm getting better. I absolutely refuse to go through this all my life.


I've actually worked quite hard to undo all the damage and peel back the layers to find out who I really am ,....and at 27 I'm surprised to discover I'm actually quite sociable and outgoing afterall.....the agoraphobia is still hard but.....yea I don't accept it for my present or future. It gets easier every day.

 

[BlackPuma]

I think Social Phobia is never plainly inherited in it's entirety. Because it's classified as a phobia, not a mental decease/deficiency/affliction. I do believe you can be more sensitive by nature, and therefore increase the odds of getting it, or have less desire to be social (for whatever reason), increasing the odds also.

But I don't believe that by having these qualities it's set in stone that you'll have it, though. For the most part, and it's an assumption on my part, it's down to the experiences you have during your upbringing and general emotionally vulnerable periods in your life.

 

[JuiceB]

But anyway, I'm getting better. I absolutely refuse to go through this all my life.

I love that way of thinking though I'm not very good at it myself.

It's weird because even though I was constantly teased as a child because of stuttering and other mental crap, I wasn't as bothered with is as I am now. SA for me is something that just gradually grew bigger and bigger over time. I felt like I did this somehow. I built up this huge wall, brick by brick, and now I have to figure out how to knock the damn thing down and get on with my existence.

 

[kilojoule]

I love that way of thinking though I'm not very good at it myself.

It works.

t's weird because even though I was constantly teased as a child because of stuttering and other mental crap, I wasn't as bothered with is as I am now. SA for me is something that just gradually grew bigger and bigger over time. I felt like I did this somehow. I built up this huge wall, brick by brick, and now I have to figure out how to knock the damn thing down and get on with my existence.

I think its because we obsess over things more than others. Things gather momentum.

 

[HappySquidward]

I think SA could be inherited, not physically, but rather mentally. Lets say your parents have SA or are "strange" in some other way. They don't have much of a social life, so as a result neither do you. Now you're never able to gain these skills, and start to develop SA.

 

[TheTemp]

Mine was acquired. Drug use last year, bad experiences that followed as well as some chemical imbalances that resulted from that. I could have had an onset condition that was triggered, my mom suffers from depression. However, no one in my family, other than my little brother has social anxiety. Even he has managed to overcome it.