latte

I mix it myself, of course!

I just made myself a chai tea latte! yay! <3

It's great that you're making progress. I'll try the "clearing your mind" thing. I hope it works.

Yeah, Lemur's right. I just never realized that avoiding could become an addiction. I never even thought about it. Unfortunately for me, I only have two weeks left, then I move on to university. I feel like if I start talking now, it just won't continue once it's over.

Couldn't help but read your last few convo with NewType - so for BOTH of you -

I felt the same way in college when I transferred, too late, etc. By the last year there I felt comfortable finally. Only until the last year I started socialize and slowly and was forced to also in filmmaking classes but it is NEVER too late what was too late for me was STARTING AGAIN too late doing it - I really made some friends esp this semester and this semester ended - I graduated - was just a bit late to really continue things...

I felt behind sure and it felt a little too late and well it WAS because I knew I was graduating, but it felt really good - avoiding can be an addiction and will be the worst thing for ya long-term. School isn't unending I always said I'll have time, next semester I can do this... etc... but then there will be no more =)

So don't wait until it's almost all over until you start socializing =)

You didn't get banned so I assume you finished your essay? =)

Maybe it does have something with to do with the environment. I used to be normal and talk a lot before, but then I stayed in my room for 10 years and never left except to go to skool where I didn't talk to anyone. It's during that time that my SA developed. I stayed alone for so long that I wasn't used to people anymore. I was like a wild animal being thrown into society.

There's definitely hope for us. I just think that we need to work on ourselves until we finally are what we wanna be as individuals, then it will be easier to talk to other people. It takes a long time though. In the meantime, let's support each other

Thanks for the friend add :>

"I feel now, after over a year spending in college that i'm finally more comfortable near ppl there, but it feels like too late to start socializing when everyone already went through that level long time ago."

Yes! I've always felt like that every semester. I don't talk to anyone, even though I want to and when I'm finally comfortable around them, I feel that it's way too late and end up never talking to them, never seeing them again, and I regret.

I look at other people, I see them talking to each other, and I just don't understand how they do it. How is it so natural for them?

By the way, where are you from?

hello latte! Thanks!
Have a lovely day! ~

It's like a vicious cycle. For a year now, I've made mistakes every week and every week I try to learn from those mistakes, but every week is a different story and every week there's something new to learn. Basically, it's hard to be disciplined and be a good student when you have SA.

I just came back from doing another exam and it didn't go well for me, even after all my hard work. I'm so angry and filled with despair, but at the same time, that's not gonna get me anywhere. I have no choice but to think about what I did wrong and try to fix it, but I already know SA is the culprit.

Do you have such struggles?

I think it's kool that you study mechanical engineering, so that means that you are even kooler than before. Don't give up, don't let the SA get to you. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to do everything it takes to keep going. Sometimes when you feel lost, try to get back to the basics. Think about what is wrong, why it happened, what you can do so that it doesn't happen again and then try to change it.

Skool is hard when you have SA, at least for me. I try to put on a shell, I try to not let my jealousy or inferiority to others get in the way, but my shell breaks every now and then. I get easily depressed and when that happens, I need to escape, mentally. That's when I start staying up late, searching for something that I'll never find, thinking and thinking, then I wake up late, lose many hours to do my homework and study...

I mean - it's really about networking. Tho I need $$$. A lot of things is low-end work like internship - not much or no pay. Hopefully leading to more later. But too late for that other thing. You don't talk nonsense. Not really... =)

Canadian or British just thought I saw you say that somewhere... lol your English is better than most people's who's primary language is English =D

Yeah, the process... sitting around doing nothing. Wonderful! *sarcasm obvious* But really tho that's all in my head and up to me to do things - honestly despite the financial and well, living at home atm - those negatives I have freedom to do things I should make most of the situation right now don't have to go right into "career". Going to try and enjoy. Slowly but surely. Or just slowly =b

Thank you and thanks for sharing a top female secret ^_^

What do you study? Where I live we have something between high skool and university called Cegep (or just college if you prefer). It lasts two years. I started Cegep in 2004, got accepted in university in political science and philosophy, had good grades, but when everything seemed to go well for me, I couldn't handle my SA anymore and fell into a depression. At the very end of my two years, my grades went down, I failed some classes and couldn't go to university. For the next six years I was pretty much a vegetable. I tried finishing skool but it didn't work.

However, this year I got stronger and decided that I wanted to study Computer Science. I went back to cegep last August, did all the math courses required for Computer Science (I'm doing the last one right now) and next September I'm starting university, five years after I was supposed to...

ah, as the days pass by you'll see your goal coming progressively closer to you. that's always pleasant.

i think i'm going to force myself to stay awake a bit more, but you have a good night, captain.

Yeah I hate that... ahh cool. Israel, don't know why I thought you were in Canada lol. Mechanical Engineering. Well can't get further away from my major rofl. Well, sort of. That's a tough one. I know engineering majors can be some of the longest ones. So you're doing fine =)

Half my 20s to enjoy my career nice way to view it but at this rate by the time I actually really get to doing it and where I want to be I'll have all my 30s to enjoy it hopefully lol.

yes that degree would be nice, how close are you?

and thank you, i'm sure all will be fine.

Healthier than some things, indeed. And isn't that happy feeling always ever so fleeting?

Magic, you say. Abra kadabra (how is that spelled?) and all that hoekus pokeus? Toil and boil? Turn, perhaps churn? Or stir? All concluding to ahh, eh, voilà! Une latte.