Well, in that case, I may as well get this one out of my system too.
I'm doing alright, you know how it is; trying to keep distracted from life, ha ha.
It sucks you were bullied about your appearance, you seem like a regular dude to me, no homo. They probably just found the button that stuck and kept pressing it. That's what they do, figure out what bothers you and then hammer it home; it doesn't even have to make sense. Kids used to say I looked like a girl and I'm the furthest thing from a girl on the planet, ha ha. But it bothered me, so that's what I got stuck with.
Until I got fat, then it was nothing but fat jokes. :bigsmile:
Oh me too I cannot sleep on my back for nothing! But I dream better when I do, I am weird that way.... Stay strong, friend. I really think you are very, very brave and will come out of this for the better. Keep smiling!
Aww and still reading your messages-The tartan boxers, I don't say as i blame ya! Why the heck would you want all your junk hanging out? I guess they are used to that? LoL I hate those friggin hospital gowns, so silly as they cover nothing and feel like you are wearing a hankie!
Oh boy, Share your stories to your hearts content if you feel the need- it is the best therapy I have found to write things out. But only if you want to. I know you had to be massively brave. I actually cannot even imagine what you went thorough. I hope you feel better soon so it was worth the pain. Blah I had a Lower and Upper GI series in my early 20's and I felt like a war veteran when it was over. Trust me I know it was nothing like what you went though but I have no desire to EVER see my colon from the inside out on a hospital monitor screen EVER again!!!
Well you have some good taste in music. Nothing like good music to get you through the tough times. I know it's helped me a lot. I understand your writing pretty well. Usually mine is at a minimum. I don't have much to say
Or if you have some post opt time then you will be able to relax, eat ice cream watch movies and it is over very fast. Our minds always make stuff out to be far worse than it ever is. Always. Particularly if you have worry/anxiety issues...sometimes too I will watch movies about people with great strength, like the movie Master and Commander for example. That one always makes me realize the power of the human spirit in the face of adversity. Plus there's Russell Crowe Rocky is another good one.
Oh that is great news about your blood work! So, you are like me and have the worry- gene, my mom gave that one to me too. It is awful. I know when I am really nervous about something I put it in perspective of time. Like this will only take two hrs. I can do pretty much anything for two hrs. Two hrs in the scheme of things is nothing. Then it will be over. Then I will be home in the comfort of my room with my things and be safe again.
I have no idea why I could handle playing OK in front of people. I cannot stand singing solo, which I was forced to do a bit in school. That was so scary! Maybe you could take some theory and learn to read when your out of school? I know my anxiety in most all cases robbed me of doing well in any class room situations. I was always too anxious to concentrate.
As for viola, I wasn't last chair, which is the worst but I was second to last. My stand partner would play during the silences and everyone would get mad at us both like we were a team and it was my fault too. That was awful hard to deal with. I think you just have to figure out what works for you and everyone is different. Private lessons always helped me learn better, though usually expensive. Keep trying to find what works for you!