Lost society or did i lost my mind?

Is there anyone else who thinks the society is lost? I mean, is there anyone out there who believes that a relationship should be based on love? That you should love your partner for life? That you should only have sex with one person and marrying that person for live? That having sex just for the fun of it is bad and doing it with more than one person is even worse?

Ok, I know that sometimes people can make mistakes choosing the wrong partner, and they should be given a second change, but come on, you know what I mean (I hope). This world is lost. I think the media is to blame for this, but maybe I'm the one who's wrong...

Is there hope for me, who has 28 years old, to find a girl who is virgin and had at most just one or two boyfriends? I mean, a well-mannered decent girl. She might even be super perverted, but should not be getting around with other guys.

Or will I be forever alone?
This is just a rant, because I know I'll always be alone. I lost all hope since I was around 20 years-old. I guess I am prepared for that... (at least, I hope).

Note: I do not want to offend anyone. If you want to have lots of sex just for fun, you are free to do so. It's you're choice. But I also make my own choices, so I can choose not to be romantically involved with people like that.

Life is messed up, for sure. The questions you ask are important, i know, I just dont' have answer myself yet... But, it seems just from reading your post that you are reaching out.... and thats good right??
Luck, Love, Life

Error said:

Is there anyone else who thinks the society is lost? I mean, is there anyone out there who believes that a relationship should be based on love? That you should love your partner for life? That you should only have sex with one person and marrying that person for live? That having sex just for the fun of it is bad and doing it with more than one person is even worse?

Ok, I know that sometimes people can make mistakes choosing the wrong partner, and they should be given a second change, but come on, you know what I mean (I hope). This world is lost. I think the media is to blame for this, but maybe I'm the one who's wrong...

Is there hope for me, who has 28 years old, to find a girl who is virgin and had at most just one or two boyfriends? I mean, a well-mannered decent girl. She might even be super perverted, but should not be getting around with other guys.

Or will I be forever alone?
This is just a rant, because I know I'll always be alone. I lost all hope since I was around 20 years-old. I guess I am prepared for that... (at least, I hope).

Note: I do not want to offend anyone. If you want to have lots of sex just for fun, you are free to do so. It's you're choice. But I also make my own choices, so I can choose not to be romantically involved with people like that.

Click to expand...

Error, call me unrealistic, but id like to believe that theres hope for anyone and everyone. Theres no way i can say this without sounding like "that guy". the guy who has that. But, i found my hunny, and she was everything you described and then some, and were both S/A. But i consider myself extremely lucky.

I think society is messed up. People are in-personable. Interviews, and firings are conducted over email instead of looking someone in the eye when you do it. I just dont like how detached weve all become. Theres so much i dont like about the world and how it is, buti try to live as if it were how it should be, to show it what it COULD be if people just tried.

If i had the option for a life of sex and no commitment with smoking hot women, or the life i have now, sure, i wont lie, as a hormonal guy, the first option sounds awsome. But its sitll going to be an empty life.

I would so much rather be married and have the life i do. Without her id rather be single. So yes, i agree with you.

if history has showed us anything

it is that when trying to establish "rules" for morality

the most trouble comes from

deciding WHO gets to make the rules

Coyote, i vote you change your name to YODA, or Oracle!

Media and consumerism drive the exploitation of sex and sexualisation, which drive the breakdown of 'traditional values', or morality. I'm sure there are people out there who think what has become the mainstream is poor taste, but they either stay under the radar, or do the same because they are misguided.

Of course morality is a construct we imposed on ourselves as intelligent beings. Don't apes have multiple sexual partners? It's all relative. Although I am uncomfortable with the idea of promiscuity, I don't know whether that's because i'm moral, or because i've been conditioned to think that.

coyote said:

if history has showed us anything

it is that when trying to establish "rules" for morality

the most trouble comes from

deciding WHO gets to make the rules

Click to expand...

Maybe it should come about through a democratic process,

I think society is lost, to the point where basic literacy suffers. S.P.G. has gone out of the window... Poor, poor world.

You're definitely not alone in your way of thinking. I have a real similar viewpoint, and I've come across quite a few others who do as well.

Yes I have a very similar view point as well. To be honest I highly doubt I would ever be able to find any girl that hasnt slept with 37 guys and I doubt any girl would find a man that respects her and isnt a womanizer.

I think being an SAer im very observant. With life im like a sniper,everything goes on and I sit far away and just watch and see everything that goes on. The world is a very messed up place.

Yes, there are many people out there with those views.

I do think that society has got its values all wrong :: It seems to be all about sex and the way you look these days. I think my friends reflect that, I mean I am grateful for my friends but I don't think they value genuine people like me, everyone takes eachother for granted and they only want to meet up providing we are going somewhere to drink. I enjoy going out with them on the weekend but when we go clubbing it all feels so empty. I am in two minds about everything really, sometimes I am proud of myself for not having slept with anyone yet, and even though I'm not religious I think it would be a nice thing to wait until I am married or at least find someone really worth it. But then I think that a truly loving and loyal relationship isn't even possible, what with all the temptation out there and how common it is for people to cheat. So I don't know I should abandon my values.

But anyway, it's refreshing that there are people like you

I have to admit I like to look nice and care about my looks, but I wouldn’t judge anyone else based on how they look. I know I am a good person and have a good heart and to me, no matter what choices people make in life that is what matters the most. People aren’t one dimensional they may do one or two things you may not agree with but that isn’t necessarily enough to make them a bad person, it is just a difference of opinion. I dislike how society tends to stereotype and puts people into categories when people are more complex than that.

Yeah, everyone likes to make an effort with their appearance of course and feel good about themselves! But with the media and everything I think it is hard TO feel attractive, at least it is for me anyway. I never feel good enough. And people do have more dimensions than we realise. But when the people I know are projecting only one sort of dimension, that is the only one I can work with. I don't like to judge people and say that everyone who sleeps around is a bad person or whatever, but when I go out clubbing and see all this sleaziness it is hard to detach yourself from those judgements. But yeah, my friend and his boyfriend cheat on eachother and are pretty sleazy in a way, but it works for them, so that's a different story.

Thank you for your feedback. I just can't love a girl who is or was living a life of promiscuity. I couldn't bare with the thoughts about her past.

I'm not religious either. But I just can't understand the standards of this society. I do not share the same points of views as "normal" people. I'm so different. What I like, my hobbies, ethics... I'm way different of the majority.

For instance, I hate how girls use makeup. I feel it's stupid the time they waste and they don't look good at all. Painting eyes, nails, lips, high-heels shoes... for me makes them look ugly, and look like someone who's just trying to get attention (or sex). Not to mention piercings and tattoos... of course people must look presentable and clean... the problem is, they get influenced by the media and if everyone uses, lets use it. If someone is different, let's make fun of them. But then they look back and laugh about past trends. Which means, they are looking stupid, in the eyes of those who live 20 years in the future (who does not laugh about the glasses people used on the 80s?).

And about democracy, there's a lot to it. People as a group are very stupid. And politics are so corrupt it makes me sick and very angry. It's our money they are stealing!

Anyway, people just think about themselves. Neighbors who make noise at night, I hate walking on the streets because they are so dirty because people let their animals poop and pee everywhere, drivers who don't let others pass, even if they are not overtaking, just because they are going on the speed limit...

All this makes me hate people. I hate people and that's really bad. With one or two exceptions, I just don't get along with anyone (in real and virtual world). This makes me feel bad about myself...

All I do is rant...

I know what you mean and I wholeheartedly agree. I feel like I'm the only teen girl around here who hasn't given it up already and I have yet to meet a guy who won't cheat on me. It's sad but that's just the cruel world we live in.

Error said:

For instance, I hate how girls use makeup. I feel it's stupid the time they waste and they don't look good at all. Painting eyes, nails, lips, high-heels shoes... for me makes them look ugly, and look like someone who's just trying to get attention (or sex). Not to mention piercings and tattoos... of course people must look presentable and clean... the problem is, they get influenced by the media and if everyone uses, lets use it. If someone is different, let's make fun of them. But then they look back and laugh about past trends. Which means, they are looking stupid, in the eyes of those who live 20 years in the future (who does not laugh about the glasses people used on the 80s?).

Click to expand...

FINALLY!!! Someone who has the same views on this as me. I really hate wearing make-up. I prefer to be natural and let people see me for who I really am (as much as I hate myself at times) rather than hiding beneath all that blush and eyeshadow that doesn't even look good to begin with. Seriously, I've seen so many girls out there who are already beautiful as they are and yet they load up on all that make-up and make themselves look like 5 cent prostitutes.

Invisibleman said:

I think being an SAer im very observant. With life im like a sniper,everything goes on and I sit far away and just watch and see everything that goes on. The world is a very messed up place.

Click to expand...

Well put. I agree that having SA makes us more aware of reality and doesn't allow us give in as easily as others tend to.

Personally I like wearing makeup. I don't have much confidence in myself but I find that wearing a bit of makeup gives me a bit of confidence, I don't necessarily do it to attract anyone's attention. Even if I felt beautiful without makeup I think I'd get bored of the way I look and want to experiment, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think I'd rather go out with someone who makes some effort with their appearance rather than not wanting to make a good impression on me. I personally don't normally become attracted to people because of the way they look but when I can tell a guy has done his hair in a nice way it shows he cares to make the effort. There are also people who use makeup of course when they want to hide discoloured skin or spots and if it makes them feel more confident, then good

where do we get the idea that the world is "supposed" to be different?

the universe, and everything in it, is precisely the way it is

including us

I agree with Pinata. My wife had terrible terrible acne when she was younger, and has horrible scars now. She wears some light makeup to hide it, but she does it in a way that looks natural. She told me once that her anxiety is way higher without it, due to her facial scarring. In my mind, if a little somthing like that makes it just that much easier for her to function in society, thats ok by me. Is it a coping mechanism?. sure. but i have my own mechanisms. She said going out with it is like going into battle with your armor, vs goign out naked.

Having said that, i DO agree that some who just dont know how to apply it, or apply it but dont know how to do it correctly, actually make themselves less attractive than more. But every now and then i spot a girl who knows what shes doing, and honestly, sure its nice to look at, but i like to know the person inside.

If it makes her feel better about herself i see no harm there. Life is hard enough for us as it is.

Well i get emotionally attached to someone just from making out, so having sex with someone means i wouldn't with anyone else I've been cheated on and it hurts a lot so i wouldn't do it to someone else.... also no second chances because it's a bad idea, just referring to trusting someone again