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Old 09-30-2011
RandyMarsh's Avatar
Newbie User

Ok so I’m 20 years old I have no friends, never had a girlfriend, I left school when I was 16 and have done absolutely nothing with my life since. I am the definition of a loser. My lufe is going nowhere.
I’ve been on benefits and when you’ve been signing on for a certain amount of time they put you on to this two week training course where you do out a CV and do internet and interview skills, that type of stuff. The woman who takes the course says it will make you more confident but it hasn’t done that for me, it has just confirmed for me that I am abnormal. Also I am really paranoid. Whenever someone whispers or laughs I always think it is directed at me. I haven’t spoken to the person beside me once and I’ve been there 5 days. There are 15 people on it, everybody always goes together for lunch except me, I go home and today (Friday) after it finished everybody went for a drink except me. I just went home without speaking to anybody. I have no chance of being happy; I think I will be on benefits my entire life. I will never have a girlfriend; I don’t know what to do about social anxiety. I have no idea how to change it or make myself feel better.

I don't know how to finish this thread so here lol

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Old 09-30-2011
BlueDays's Avatar
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Elite User

Hello and welcome to the forum.
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Old 09-30-2011

Hi RandyMarsh and welcome....
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Old 09-30-2011
Niteowl's Avatar
Expert User

"I donít know what to do about social anxiety. I have no idea how to change it or make myself feel better." - that's the part that always gets me ... I really wish I could help! That doesn't mean your life can't go anywhere though; have you told anyone about the social anxiety, if there is anyone to tell? I don't know where you're from, but maybe if you find the courage to look into it, you might find some counselling organisations that will work for you - there's one in my city where they can pair you up with a volunteer 'friend'. Or something like that. Maybe there's a similar program close to you, if you thought that it's something you could do. If not, or alternatively, do you have any interests that you're really passionate about? Would you be able to find out about small, local groups maybe?

Otherwise, do you think you could manage some volunteering? That's what I'm looking at right now, because; a) I can quit at any time if it gets to be too much, but also because, b) bullies don't go in the charity shops, or to the library which this particular charity shop is next to. I want to get a feel for the work environment and I want to interact with customers - but not as many as the bigger shops get! Wherever you are, I'll bet there are volunteering opportunities - they will require a bit of confidence to get you going, but in the long-term, they should help your confidence too. I'm not saying any of these things will definitely help, but I'm giving them a try myself and I'm quite confident about them, even if they only help a little.

Welcome to the site, by the way; it's a pleasure to meet you! :)
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Old 10-01-2011

Hi and welcome!
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Old 10-01-2011
upndwn's Avatar
Elite User

Welcome to SPW RandyMarsh

Trust me when I say that you're not alone in your situation. I used to have it like you for many years when my SP was at its worst. I just couldn't connect to anyone, my fear ruled my life. Medication, counseling and rehabilitation has almost cure me of my SP, or at least taught me how to live with it. It has taken a lot of years, and a lot of hard work and dedication, but believe me, there is hope. Just hang in there, you are still young, you have your whole life in front of you. best of wishes mate
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Old 10-01-2011

Hi Randy welcome !
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Old 10-01-2011
Kiwong's Avatar
Elite User

You're not alone, Randy.
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Old 10-01-2011
Falkor's Avatar
Singing Bird
Elite User

Welcome Randy, hope you enjoy your stay
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Old 10-01-2011
BlackPuma's Avatar
Neither black nor a puma.
Elite User

Welcome to the forum, and may I just say, BEST. USERNAME. EVER. :3
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Old 10-01-2011

Hey, welcome to the club; from what I've read in the past, it seems like a lot of males on here have never had a girlfriend, so you're not alone! Apparently, we have been diagnosed with something called involuntary celibacy, according to Wikipedia. Anyway, my advice on feeling better is to accept your social anxiety; it's a part of you, as of right now. After that, you can then move on to fixing it. I'm not trying to sound mean, but lying down and feeling sorry for yourself won't fix it; you have to actively fight it. The same goes for any problems you have, you have to fight it to beat it.

You may not have friends now, but you joined this site for a reason, right? You'll make friends on here, I promise! If you want, I can be your friend.
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Old 10-01-2011
Paahi's Avatar
Elite User

Hello and welcome!
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Old 10-01-2011
Graeme1988's Avatar
Hie ye hence from me heath!
Elite User

Hello and welcome to the forum, Randy.
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Old 10-01-2011
RandyMarsh's Avatar
Newbie User

Thanks for replying everybody, especially James, Upndwn and deadmanwalking. And blackpuma for complimenting my username lol!

''I'm not trying to sound mean, but lying down and feeling sorry for yourself won't fix it; you have to actively fight it. The same goes for any problems you have, you have to fight it to beat it.''
U r right about that. My aunt is trying to get me to go and speak to a counsellor. Although I wasn't optimistic about it I am going to have to it won't do any harm will it.
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Old 10-01-2011
super frank's Avatar
Intermediate User

My favorite ep is when you try to take the worlds biggest dump and have to deal with Bono from U2 for no apparent reason at all
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