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Old 2 Weeks Ago
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Originally Posted by BlueDays View Post
Clean up? Do you absolutely have to? You just got out of hospital - your body needs rest in order to finish getting back to full health. Could you ask or offer to pay your sister to help with any necessary cleaning for a while?



I am right down the bottom of the well again.
Don't even care this time, which is new.
Finally fully realising what it means by it not being my fault.
If any stranger wants to criticise me, then I should offer to swap lives with them.
They would not last a month if they attempted to live in my life.
I am getting a cleaner to do it. and will have a cleaner coming in every fortnight to keep it that way. my sister is helping to clean unpaid.
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That feeling has been a constant weight on my back for years.
It is such an acid-burning like feeling to experience, isn't it Graeme?
It sure is; though thatís how itís been since birth for me.
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I feel like I have nowhere to go in life, everywhere just triggers me. even online.
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all right dudes?
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At this point in my life, I donít know what to do. Having never really ďfit inĒ with the rest of society, true be told. In many ways Iíve failed spectacularly.

Or felt any sense of belonging for that matter, even within my family. Getting my own house might do wonders for me as far as my independence goes; but I canít see my family being happy for me, really. But then my mother in particular hasnít exactly been known for being very supportive of me in the past, so I donít see her changing her tune now, just cuz me moving out is now likely.
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That's great to hear. How r you doing now? I've had trouble waking up in time to do sth today.
I'm feel the same now but from last time I posted I did listen to an album I wanted to listen to which I'm happy about. That I normally wouldn't listen too with my anxiety. Btw I responded to your message, idk if you got it or didn't get to it yet.
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I'm feel the same now but from last time I posted I did listen to an album I wanted to listen to which I'm happy about. That I normally wouldn't listen too with my anxiety. Btw I responded to your message, idk if you got it or didn't get to it yet.
that's great! why would you have anxiety listening to an album? i didn't get your message..

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I'm bored now, i don't know what to do...
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I was feeling bored. But i had a long shower & feel better now.
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Originally Posted by Graeme1988 View Post
At this point in my life, I donít know what to do. Having never really ďfit inĒ with the rest of society, true be told. In many ways Iíve failed spectacularly.

Or felt any sense of belonging for that matter, even within my family. Getting my own house might do wonders for me as far as my independence goes; but I canít see my family being happy for me, really. But then my mother in particular hasnít exactly been known for being very supportive of me in the past, so I donít see her changing her tune now, just cuz me moving out is now likely.
I don't know why I'm here on this earth
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What a shite, boring day Iíve had... Starting to think my older sister wus right when she said I was stuck in a rut. But then itís not like thereís a wealth of social activity aimed solely at disabled people in my wee hometown. Not that Iíd start demanding Ďem either, cuz my local council wouldnít have the budget to make those sorta changes. My point being... What díye expect when the town ya live in is a shitehole?

Anyway, hereís hoping guitar lessons go better than expected.
As ya cun probably tell, Iím overly optimistic about the chance of success.

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I don't know why I'm here on this earth
Me neither.
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I don't like change. Especially loss.
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Sometimes the things you love can act as triggers.
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I don't like change. Especially loss.
I've read articles saying that one of the key drivers for any human to survive the traumatic events that have occurred throughout history, has been the ability to adapt to changes in the environment they live in.

The ones that could not adapt to change, died out.
So, if you and I lived back before the modern safety nets that exist today, we would have simply died. >.>
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I've read articles saying that one of the key drivers for any human to survive the traumatic events that have occurred throughout history, has been the ability to adapt to changes in the environment they live in.

The ones that could not adapt to change, died out.
So, if you and I lived back before the modern safety nets that exist today, we would have simply died. >.>
OR.... (I include myself in with you and slowest) we would have left 'society' behind, found a secluded place in the mountains or coast, and lived a life with animals and solitude.
If we were lucky enough we might have found a mate who also wants this kind of existence and been quite happy.

A tough existence perhaps, but maybe a happier one?..
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Irritated. Maybe it's because I'm in my early thirties and my colleague is a teenager but I get annoyed easily by her lack of effort at times (her phone is a constant companion), her behaviour to a student who has a learning disability (she tends to be short with him at times as he can get eccentric talking about some subjects), and her constant timekeeping issues (taking a longer lunch than others). I should just say to myself 'forget it's but it bugs me at work.
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I've stopped racing to change things or my conditions even though i feel pressured at times. whatever it is, it is it's not easy b/c my family wants me to get better but I'm trying and this month may be a new beginning or whatever.. i hope it's not destruction.. God, i pray not destruction May your grace be with me lord jesus Amen

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lily View Post
I've stopped racing to change things or my conditions even though i feel pressured at times. whatever it is, it is it's not easy b/c my family wants me to get better but I'm trying and this month may be a new beginning or whatever.. i hope it's not destruction.. God, i pray not destruction May your grace be with me lord jesus Amen
Try to focus your mind & expectations on the positive. You tend to get what you focus on.
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Fell asleep with my ceiling fan on, feels like a face-hugger violated my sinuses.
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Extremely angry at myself.
Why do we keep on procrastinating when we know, time and time again, it will continue to make the problem much, much worse!?

I wish it was just as easy to fix a broken brain, as is it to fix a broken leg!!
Sometimes I wish the human brain did not evolve and grow to be as complex as it has.

For example, back when cars were so simply made - put to together with just the basic mechanics needed to get from point A to point B.
Functioned so easily that most people could maintain and fix them themselves.

Then car parts stated to get so fancy, intricate and progressed to today where they are very complex objects.
Yes we have computerised/technical features to make the actual act of driving somewhere easier. But if one of these complex, technical systems/parts breaks, the average person can't just fix it him/herself anymore.

The same applies with our complex brains today.
In the distant past, our brains only needed to gather and hunt food, build simple protection from the elements, make weapons to fight off large animals and other groups of humans trying to steel our food or women.
But now, our brains have to deal with so many thousands of different, complex functions demanded of us in today's society, just to exist on a daily basis. Today if one part of our complex brains breaks - or is malfunctioning - we are in serious trouble, as it becomes an intense struggle mentally just to exist, not "live", just exist.

I would choose a more simple - even more physically challenging - short life that humans lived a couple of thousands of years ago, over the longer, mind-burning, complex maze of constant stress-filled-days we have to endure now. / end rant.

(as you can see, I'm having a bad day, sorry for the long rant )
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