Realizing Social Anxiety is a New Layer of Illusion

[mikebird]

I follow.

Stuck at home. No work. No life. This website is a way to communicate.

My standpoint of popping out to put the trash out and go to town and get groceries... is not comfortable. I feel under scrutiny from strangers in the streets, and much more by phone call.

Your red message is powerful.

I've felt for a lot of years that I need to 'do my bit' by dressing up as a clown or Pudsey Bear to run 'the Marathon' to raise money, waving my hands in the air, shouting and screaming, acting funny, and then show that I can do a night of ball dancing straight after that...

BBC TV

Yep. Individualism is out of the door on this planet. My education, skills, experience & knowledge have no place here

I liked the 'freedom of speech..?' idea.

Quite keen on ending the lives of the particulars who ended my existence, jest before ending my own

 

[Honda]

First of all I did not write that above statement, I picked it up from Tumblr..

Second of all, this is how society views people with SA and depression. Losers, failures, etc. They dont give a f**k about what you think or how you feel and they wont take it as a justification and yes some will hurt you cuz you're not gonna stand up for yourself. You people really think that people will tolerate social anxiety? They will laugh at you and personally they have no business to learn about one's weaknesses. Neither do it have any concern to learn people's businesses; this is how the world runs..

Third, people never will want you or enjoy your company if you will be insecure or not a confident person. I myself would put off weirdos because they dont add anything to my life; they instead waste my time with their setbacks and issues which they alone can solve..

Fourth, I have been in absolute deep **** and the reason for that is because I always ran away from running my own life and taking responsibility of my life. Sitting at times due to laziness, fear, hesitation and being too stuck inside my head to see the material reality that exists in-front of me. Like I said before I have tried to end my own life but guess what; nobody will give a **** about it, in case you think you are trying to get any attention by justifying your pain or misery.

Fifth, I have met people with 3x the confidence, character and relationships yet they have far more ****ed up insecurities but managed to live a successful life.

Sixth, **** SA and **** depression; the biggest waste of my time and the biggest pile of bull**** I ever fell for. Believing this **** made my life even worse and more devastating and discovering how much of an idiot I am putting lies inside my head to justify my **** ups in life.

So the next time you want to hang out with someone you expect he will accept your SA, well think twice. Nobody gives a **** about you or your miserable life; all they want is your pleasant company and if you are going to be a whiny bitch then its no surprise nobody wants to hang out with you.

Society with its harshness and sometimes unfair judgments makes far more sense that all the **** you would pick up from doctors, medication, psychiatry, self help, therapy and this ****. This is real life and it is **** and I like the fact I am learning to accept this reality everyday.. Then you will know how to live life to the fullest; when you know **** is soo deep that you dont give a f**k anymore and will live it up..

 

[MentalAudit]

Consider everything in it's context. There are constants that are malleable and there are fleeting variables that are forever in flux and indeed mixes of both of these particulars. We often swing, much like a pendulum, from one extreme to the other. I would suggest that you have gone from the extreme of individual exportation of responsibility, to the universal importation of responsibility. That is, from saying that society, or the 'bad' people are to blame to, it's always your own fault if things go wrong, it's all on your head.

An understanding would be to reach the middle road or the moderate approach. Sometimes the notion that you are in some way flawed and therefore cannot succeed, may indeed feed into the failures that you experience, however, this is not always the case.

It is important to recognise that social phobias are legitimate, that depression is legitimate. If people go so far as to tell themselves they are sick or have said phobia without said legitimacy, then they are at that time probably suited to therapy or evaluation from one professional capacity or another. As a society, the more complex we grow (the greater we expand both intellectually/physically) the greater checks come into play to limit us and maintain the balance. The balance is maintained in many ways, some subtle and some overt. The reason why such problems don't appear in 3rd world countries and or simply rural tribes is that when they do appear, it's typically in one person in a tribe of a fifty say, or a village of some much greater value. It's not paid much attention because the more base and blatant checks and balances like hunger, thirst and security are all banging on the inside of your head asking to be acknowledged before it's too late. With progress and development, (I do not suggest that either said progress or development is positive) come new laws, new rules, crimes and new ways to commit them.

If this fails to sway you, a rather understandable outcome, then it's important to remember the sanctity of other's beliefs.

 

[Honda]

I got no job, I got no friends, I got no life and I am living on barely commission checks in my parents house. My life is **** like unbearably and depressingly ****.

I refuse to sit for one minute and fill my head with ideas of social phobia and depression; I would rather slap some sense into myself, stop being a bitch about it and do what is necessary to survive and get myself out of this situation step by step.

 

[MentalAudit]

I got no job, I got no friends, I got no life and I am living on barely commission checks in my parents house. My life is **** like unbearably and depressingly ****.

I refuse to sit for one minute and fill my head with ideas of social phobia and depression; I would rather slap some sense into myself, stop being a bitch about it and do what is necessary to survive and get myself out of this situation step by step.

To act without reflection is like shooting at shadows. My suggestion would be that indeed the actions that lead to friends/life/employment are related to acting on matters instead of sitting around thinking about them. However, this is only one part of it, what friends would you have who never complain, who never have problems and who will do anything for money? Recognise the context. Right now, you need to act and you can't afford excuses perhaps? As opposed to suggesting that you always need to act and that social phobias/mental illnesses do not exist. The context for you dictates that you need to have this point of view to move on with your life. However that's the key point isn't it? It's the view you need 'now' to move on, not the view you will need forever. That's why it's important to distinguish the context.

 

[Section_31]

First of all I did not write that above statement, I picked it up from Tumblr..

Second of all, this is how society views people with SA and depression. Losers, failures, etc. They dont give a f**k about what you think or how you feel and they wont take it as a justification and yes some will hurt you cuz you're not gonna stand up for yourself. You people really think that people will tolerate social anxiety? They will laugh at you and personally they have no business to learn about one's weaknesses. Neither do it have any concern to learn people's businesses; this is how the world runs..

Third, people never will want you or enjoy your company if you will be insecure or not a confident person. I myself would put off weirdos because they dont add anything to my life; they instead waste my time with their setbacks and issues which they alone can solve..

Fourth, I have been in absolute deep **** and the reason for that is because I always ran away from running my own life and taking responsibility of my life. Sitting at times due to laziness, fear, hesitation and being too stuck inside my head to see the material reality that exists in-front of me. Like I said before I have tried to end my own life but guess what; nobody will give a **** about it, in case you think you are trying to get any attention by justifying your pain or misery.

Fifth, I have met people with 3x the confidence, character and relationships yet they have far more ****ed up insecurities but managed to live a successful life.

Sixth, **** SA and **** depression; the biggest waste of my time and the biggest pile of bull**** I ever fell for. Believing this **** made my life even worse and more devastating and discovering how much of an idiot I am putting lies inside my head to justify my **** ups in life.

So the next time you want to hang out with someone you expect he will accept your SA, well think twice. Nobody gives a **** about you or your miserable life; all they want is your pleasant company and if you are going to be a whiny bitch then its no surprise nobody wants to hang out with you.

Society with its harshness and sometimes unfair judgments makes far more sense that all the **** you would pick up from doctors, medication, psychiatry, self help, therapy and this ****. This is real life and it is **** and I like the fact I am learning to accept this reality everyday.. Then you will know how to live life to the fullest; when you know **** is soo deep that you dont give a f**k anymore and will live it up..

I find this interesting, as the feeling is pretty mutual fo me on not caring what society thinks, does, says, about me. I go about my life quite happy and content to have my own existence outside of society. Oh sure i interact with and am a part of it to an extent, everyone has to eat, work, and live. But outside of working, just as a means to an end, i really live isolated from society. And to me thats fine. Sure, im scared of most people. I hate most people. And really, i dont really have much desire to change. Does that make me a coward?. Some would say sure, some would say no, some wouldnt care either way as long as im not blocking their way to get to the mall. The point is i dont think theres any real right or wrong answer. Its all about what you feel content with. Strangely enough now when people insult me i really feel nothing, jsut plain indifference. I shrug and go back to work or playing games at home or just living my quiet personal happy existence.

Im on medication for anxiety and depression. And honestly im so much better with it, its helped me do things i cuoldnt have done before. Some would say jut buck up and do it, face your fears, ect ect. Thats great for them. But i cant, or well i should say i CAN, but not without falling to pieces and exhausting the crap out of myself. Id much rather have to take a pill every day if it works for me so i can live a somewhat semblence of a normal life. I recognize this doesnt always work for others, hence why i say see your doctor. Do companies make money off us?. Yes, absolutely. But thats just part of living in a capitalist western society. It is what it is. I know my doc genuienly wants to help me, and i trust him implicitly.

That said i can most def understand and respect if someones had different experiences, ect, which may or may not have turned them away from certain things, or helped them form certain opinions. The events of our lives and the wiring of brain nuerons form a unique individual within every one of us. ANd no two people are the same, so of course what works for some wont work for others. Thats just how it is.

At the end of the day you need to cast aside what others may or may not say or think. it matters not. What matters is if YOU can be happy with YOURSELF. and if your not, do what you feel is right to work towards making yourself happy. Because honestly, life is too short to dwell on things like this. Which is one of the reasons i really dont need other people in my day to day life. *shrug*.

im strange or a outcast or weak because i have SA or depression?.

Meh

*goes back to reading stephen king novel*

 

[MentalAudit]

At the end of the day you need to cast aside what others may or may not say or think. it matters not. What matters is if YOU can be happy with YOURSELF. and if your not, do what you feel is right to work towards making yourself happy. Because honestly, life is too short to dwell on things like this. Which is one of the reasons i really dont need other people in my day to day life. *shrug*.

im strange or a outcast or weak because i have SA or depression?.

Meh

*goes back to reading stephen king novel*

I agree with what you say here, but I'd suggest that as human beings who developed out of shared social dependency society is a part of what makes you happy. Whether it's from the internet service provided to you, the security of state, the availability of food/water, or simply the people therein society is an unavoidable part of our happiness. What i would suggest is saying that it comes down to you and the people who care about you/you care about, what you and they think, that's what matters. Even then what people you don't care about think matters, should they overwhelmingly decide that (insert lonegunman's way of life here) is malicious and harmful to society, you would unavoidably find that what they think/feel matters. As it is, it may appear that they are indifferent to you, but in many hundreds of ways you already depend on that indifference to maintain your ideal lifestyle, and that indifference matters.

 

[Section_31]

I agree with what you say here, but I'd suggest that as human beings who developed out of shared social dependency society is a part of what makes you happy. Whether it's from the internet service provided to you, the security of state, the availability of food/water, or simply the people therein society is an unavoidable part of our happiness. What i would suggest is saying that it comes down to you and the people who care about you/you care about, what you and they think, that's what matters. Even then what people you don't care about think matters, should they overwhelmingly decide that (insert lonegunman's way of life here) is malicious and harmful to society, you would unavoidably find that what they think/feel matters. As it is, it may appear that they are indifferent to you, but in many hundreds of ways you already depend on that indifference to maintain your ideal lifestyle, and that indifference matters.

Audit, that has to be one of the most reflective posts ive ever seen, and that really made me stop and go "huh!".

I would enjoy intellectual discussions with you, you have a very keen mind!

I salute you!

 

[Opaline]

I agree with what you say here, but I'd suggest that as human beings who developed out of shared social dependency society is a part of what makes you happy. Whether it's from the internet service provided to you, the security of state, the availability of food/water, or simply the people therein society is an unavoidable part of our happiness. What i would suggest is saying that it comes down to you and the people who care about you/you care about, what you and they think, that's what matters. Even then what people you don't care about think matters, should they overwhelmingly decide that (insert lonegunman's way of life here) is malicious and harmful to society, you would unavoidably find that what they think/feel matters. As it is, it may appear that they are indifferent to you, but in many hundreds of ways you already depend on that indifference to maintain your ideal lifestyle, and that indifference matters.

Yes. This is why an individualistic society (ie Western society) doesn't work. The term is practically an oxymoron.

Like it or not, we are dependent on other human beings. They do matter to us, to some degree, and we matter to them, in some way. We all affect each other - after all, we all live on this floating rock in space together, and we all need the same things, and the majority of us need human interaction. We need the food others grow, the clothes they make, the companionship they offer.

"I don't need anyone!" - lies

 

[MentalAudit]

Yes. This is why an individualistic society (ie Western society) doesn't work. The term is practically an oxymoron.

Like it or not, we are dependent on other human beings. They do matter to us, to some degree, and we matter to them, in some way. We all affect each other - after all, we all live on this floating rock in space together, and we all need the same things, and the majority of us need human interaction. We need the food others grow, the clothes they make, the companionship they offer.

"I don't need anyone!" - lies

I'd have to disagree with you in the suggestion that a society works or fails to work. There are so many different ways a society can be built and focussed to my mind it's an odd notion that would suggest that there's a right way to build a society, a society wherein everyone is happy and nothing bad ever happens. What I would suggest of a society that works is that right now, at this moment in time, on the whole most people are happy or content, people more or less have security and that people more or less are able to live as they see fit. I would challenge you to suggest a society to replace the individualistic one we have that will not only achieve better results all round for everyone, but that will also not incur collatoral damage in the process of enacting the change. If you're not happy with individual focus being inherent in a society, I totally understand your point. I'm not big on all out individualism. However it's what humanity desires at this time and until such time (and I have no doubt in my mind that somewhere down the track there will be such a time) that we change that mindset, it's better to cope with the small misfortunes brought about and enjoy the greater happiness that it has to offer.

I totally agree on the other matter referring to extreme individualisation.

 

[MentalAudit]

Audit, that has to be one of the most reflective posts ive ever seen, and that really made me stop and go "huh!".

I would enjoy intellectual discussions with you, you have a very keen mind!

I salute you!

Thank you,

It's rare to see someone who would read a response of mine who then responds in the fashion in which you have. I'm very thankful (as my first two words of this reply may indicate, albiet more subtly than "very thankful") that you would endeavour to say this and would welcome a discussion, intellectual or otherwise.

 

[JackOfSpades]

I got no job, I got no friends, I got no life and I am living on barely commission checks in my parents house. My life is **** like unbearably and depressingly ****.

I refuse to sit for one minute and fill my head with ideas of social phobia and depression; I would rather slap some sense into myself, stop being a bitch about it and do what is necessary to survive and get myself out of this situation step by step.

I don't think youre rallying at us, but rallying at yourself whether you know that or not.
It's ironic that after all you've said, you come off as self-loathing as they come.

 

[Falkor]

My therapist actually does want to get me out of the 'patient role' because she sees its making me even worse to talk about problems all the time. All though we have a balance, because she does see i have social anxiety, but i AM NOT social anxiety. i am MORE than that. YOU are all MORE THAN THAT. That's the best way to improve, look at the strengths and improve the weaknesses by counting on your positivite things. everybody has them, so even if your mind tells you, you don't, still there will be ppl liking you or giving you compliments, so indeed, talking yourself down is a pain in the arsh, so please lets not do it.. social phobia has a part of this and i guess thats what u say. but the fear cannot be just errased.

So your post makes sense, but we should take it seriusly, but not let it drag us down indeed. make the best out of it, get a better mind-set..... But it is natural for a person with social phobia to feel upset.... it happens for a reason that we feel like this, we are overly concious of ourselves, we cannot just put it away like that.... so we are not cowards, we do are lazy sometimes, but you just dont want us to be in a patient role, its a good awakening call.

 

[Honda]

I don't think youre rallying at us, but rallying at yourself whether you know that or not.
It's ironic that after all you've said, you come off as self-loathing as they come.

Its unfortunate that this is your conclusion but I have went through **** and the only thing that allowed me to move ahead was pushing myself to reality. To do the jobs I hate, to deal with the people I dont like & to accept the reality that I failed because I was sitting inside my head for a very long time.

Now I decided to drop these whole social phobia and depression concepts with all the bad habits such justifications they bring along.

Its a waste of time and a waste potential. I don't care if you bring me all the scientists of the world to prove a point. I would settle with the option that allows me to become a successful and productive individual.

I would rather look at the surface of things instead of wasting endless hours dwelling into something that doesn't really get me anywhere in real life.

Try to prove me wrong, I want somebody to prove me wrong with logic and proof because as far as I see are just people getting more victimized by over analyzing what runs inside their heads.

You run around this world looking for peace of mind, which is a myth and is not a prerequisite to living life..

 

[laure15]

This social phobia and depression disorders are a great excuse for someone to simply give up on working hard to get somewhere in life... Yes I was loser and a coward for most of my life for many reasons; perhaps I was unlucky but the fact I did not push hard enough on myself is the reason for that which of course I used to deny but saying its not fair, I was born to live a crappy life, I am a loser, etc..

It seems like you are shoving your feelings and problems under the rug and saying that they don't exist. This might work for a short period of time. But, people who do this will explode sooner or later. One day, you might wake up and all your feelings and emotions will burst inside you, as if the floodgates have just opened. You will come crashing down and end up where you started, back at square one.

Therapy, medication, treatment, disorders; they are just a myth and an excuse to make weak or devastated people even more devastated in-order for psychiatry industry to take advantage of those people.. I will never want to go to a doctor anymore and would rather slap some sense into myself instead..

Ok, there are quacks and charlatans in every industry, but there are also well-intentioned practitioners who genuinely want to heal people.

 

[gustavofring]

Input determines output.

If you keep programming negatively, then the results will be negative. We have to push ourselves to live a good life for ourselves. If you're unhappy, don't talk about it on a forum pity party, but take positive action.

I wouldn't really agree that Social Anxiety is some form of illusion, but by focussing on it so much, it can definately become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe even worsen it.

 

[JackOfSpades]

I don't care if you bring me all the scientists of the world to prove a point. I would settle with the option that allows me to become a successful and productive individual.

Try to prove me wrong, I want somebody to prove me wrong with logic and proof because as far as I see are just people getting more victimized by over analyzing what runs inside their heads.

Um, I thought the point of science WAS logic and proof. What you seem to want is anectdotal evidence, and the most uninformed thing a person can do is think the limited experiences they observe are indicative of the whole picture. That's just not how life works.

But having said that, I don't think youre wrong about some people playing victim and using social phobia as a crutch or way to validate things. It is a failing to do that, but only as much as denying social phobia as a mental condition is. It exists. And it has to be addressed by everyone who lives with it.

To say dismissive things of it as a condition, to say you want proof and then to say you don't care about science is rife with contradiction and the type of bias that almost makes any response to this a waste of breath.

 

[MentalAudit]

Um, I thought the point of science WAS logic and proof. What you seem to want is anectdotal evidence, and the most uninformed thing a person can do is think the limited experiences they observe are indicative of the whole picture. That's just not how life works.

But having said that, I don't think youre wrong about some people playing victim and using social phobia as a crutch or way to validate things. It is a failing to do that, but only as much as denying social phobia as a mental condition is. It exists. And it has to be addressed by everyone who lives with it.

To say dismissive things of it as a condition, to say you want proof and then to say you don't care about science is rife with contradiction and the type of bias that almost makes any response to this a waste of breath.

Quite right, as I said, it's just going from one extreme to the other. Though it is entirely your judgement on the matter, I typically avoid showing people that their views are ironically built on self hatred or loathing until the time is right because their ears simply won't hear you until they are ready. Well said all the same

 

[Honda]

If science proves SA as a condition but fails to treat it then why waste my time?. If raising awarness about SA makes it worse for people, then why should we?

If we probably invest in raising individuals to be mature, strong, productive is a far healthier investment that prevents the so called SA?

Iseeing reality helps you make the right choices that get you somewhere..

 

[LifeInternal88]

It is true that we must all push ourselves and try harder, but we should also have compassion on ourselves (not the same as self pity).