Realizing Social Anxiety is a New Layer of Illusion

[Honda]

I am currently speaking from the mindset of someone that went through perhaps the worst year of my life... After attempting failed suicide several times this year; getting ripped off by a therapist... Facing a horrible dip in my career, finance, family relations and a lack of social circles; I have started studying about social phobia and thinking deeply about my problems..

I realized the following:

This social phobia and depression disorders are a great excuse for someone to simply give up on working hard to get somewhere in life... Yes I was loser and a coward for most of my life for many reasons; perhaps I was unlucky but the fact I did not push hard enough on myself is the reason for that which of course I used to deny but saying its not fair, I was born to live a crappy life, I am a loser, etc..

Therapy, medication, treatment, disorders; they are just a myth and an excuse to make weak or devastated people even more devastated in-order for psychiatry industry to take advantage of those people.. I will never want to go to a doctor anymore and would rather slap some sense into myself instead..

So here is my message to you:

"You are a ****ing coward and a wuss... People laugh at you because you are an awkward loser and your insecurities show in the way you walk, talk, think or act.. That's why they avoid you.. Nobody wants to hang out with a person coming out of weakness or insecurity; they want to hang out with confident and inspiring individuals... Nobody likes *******s as much as they dont like losers...

You will never get a decent social circle, genuine career or even get laid because you always will sit there running away from the truth trying to rationalize your setbacks with excuses like social phobia or life being not fair...

Well guess what!! The rest of the world will get the success and happiness they want in life because they are striving for it instead of just sitting there waiting for it..

Of course there are exceptions.. Though in our situation, many of us are just shocked, frustrated and confused people for reasons we never know but if we sit there and wait for others to fix it for us; it will never happen!!

I have realized that dwelling in my depression did not get me anywhere; now its time to do the things 'I dont enjoy doing' and fill my head with 'thoughts I dont really like' instead of living in a cage of denial.."

In the 3rd world people have to worry about feeding themselves; you think they would want to waste their time thinking about their frustration, pain, insecurities and fears?? No they don't; they would rather go find some crappy job to keep themselves alive...

 

[user deleted]

Re: Realizing Social Anxiety Can Make Things Worse..

I am currently speaking from the mindset of someone that went through perhaps the worst year of my life... After attempting failed suicide several times this year; getting ripped off by a therapist... Facing a horrible dip in my career, finance, family relations and a lack of social circles; I have started studying about social phobia and thinking deeply about my problems..

I realized the following:

This social phobia and depression disorders are a great excuse for someone to simply give up on working hard to get somewhere in life... Yes I was loser and a coward for most of my life for many reasons; perhaps I was unlucky but the fact I did not push hard enough on myself is the reason for that which of course I used to deny but saying its not fair, I was born to live a crappy life, I am a loser, etc..

Therapy, medication, treatment, disorders; they are just a myth and an excuse to make weak or devastated people even more devastated in-order for psychiatry industry to take advantage of those people.. I will never want to go to a doctor anymore and would rather slap some sense into myself instead..

So here is my message to you:

"You are a ****ing coward and a wuss... People laugh at you because you are an awkward loser and your insecurities show in the way you walk, talk, think or act.. That's why they avoid you.. Nobody wants to hang out with a person coming out of weakness or insecurity; they want to hang out with confident and inspiring individuals... Nobody likes *******s as much as they dont like losers...

You will never get a decent social circle, genuine career or even get laid because you always will sit there running away from the truth trying to rationalize your setbacks with excuses like social phobia or life being not fair...

Well guess what!! The rest of the world will get the success and happiness they want in life because they are striving for it instead of just sitting there waiting for it..

Of course there are exceptions.. Though in our situation, many of us are just shocked, frustrated and confused people for reasons we never know but if we sit there and wait for others to fix it for us; it will never happen!!

I have realized that dwelling in my depression did not get me anywhere; now its time to do the things 'I dont enjoy doing' and fill my head with 'thoughts I dont really like' instead of living in a cage of denial.."

Uhh. Well, if it were that easy, then everyone would just get-up-and-go.

Depression is a clinical diagnosis. It has a physical manifestation. Social phobia is not just laziness. Having social phobia doesn't mean you're wallowing in anything. I pursue my goals, I find it a struggle, but I do it. I think you'll find a lot of people do. Now, there are times in our lives where we hit 'rock bottom' but for the most part I believe we do our best. Our best doesn't mean we should become a socialite over-night.

If you break your leg, you would give yourself time to recover. Just because these things are 'in our heads' doesn't make them less real. In fact, it's this kind of ideology that actually perpetuates more feelings of helplessness and self-negativity. Giving yourself time to recover, taking things slowly.. struggling against difficulties.. that's not the same as wallowing or just giving up, nor is it 'making excuses'.

I think your advice is counter-productive. I don't agree at all.

Edit: Yeah, some people label these things 'first world problems' but at the same time, pain is relative. It isn't really a fair basis of comparison because their lives, ideology and social structure are entirely different.

 

[Honda]

I never said this would happen over night but you gotta accept things as they are which i find easier than frustrating oneself with denial, false delusions and ideas that get me nowhere.

 

[MotherWolff]

I do agree with you about the part where you said that the medical industry makes money off of our illnesses. But I believe there are doctors out there who really do care about us.

 

[user deleted]

I do agree with you about the part where you said that the medical industry makes money off of our illnesses. But I believe there are doctors out there who really do care about us.

Yeah, especially in the states. All the back-handers from drug companies to promote their products. There seems to be a push towards drug therapy as much as possible.

Saying that, I take medication. I wouldn't manage without it.

 

[Honda]

They try to help you... And many doctors can merely guide you but they will not help you... They just figure they might aswell put you on meds and therapy for a year of two squeeze some cash out of you... They gotta make a living; some of them go to the extend of whoring their patients to keep them coming..

 

[MotherWolff]

For those of you who are on medication, PLEASE continue to take them unless your doctor tells you otherwise. Because the moment you stop taking them without your doc's orders is the moment that serious problems arise.

Always take your meds! Please.

 

[Honda]

For those of you who are on medication, PLEASE continue to take them unless your doctor tells you otherwise. Because the moment you stop taking them without your doc's orders is the moment that serious problems arise.

Always take your meds! Please.

this is exactly what happened to me.. I got stuck with some useless medication and couldnt stop because it could lead to horrible withdrawal symptoms... I then stopped by myself and i went through the worst depression and pain my life that i dont event want to touch meds again.

 

[Opaline]

Re: Realizing Social Anxiety Can Make Things Worse..

Uhh. Well, if it were that easy, then everyone would just get-up-and-go.

Depression is a clinical diagnosis. It has a physical manifestation. Social phobia is not just laziness. Having social phobia doesn't mean you're wallowing in anything. I pursue my goals, I find it a struggle, but I do it. I think you'll find a lot of people do. Now, there are times in our lives where we hit 'rock bottom' but for the most part I believe we do our best. Our best doesn't mean we should become a socialite over-night.

If you break your leg, you would give yourself time to recover. Just because these things are 'in our heads' doesn't make them less real. In fact, it's this kind of ideology that actually perpetuates more feelings of helplessness and self-negativity. Giving yourself time to recover, taking things slowly.. struggling against difficulties.. that's not the same as wallowing or just giving up, nor is it 'making excuses'.

I think your advice is counter-productive. I don't agree at all.

Edit: Yeah, some people label these things 'first world problems' but at the same time, pain is relative. It isn't really a fair basis of comparison because their lives, ideology and social structure are entirely different.

Yep.

Man we needed someone like you on this forum

 

[Honda]

Oh, so THAT'S what I was doing wrong all along! I don't have social phobia, I'm just in denial about being lazy and using it as an excuse for not having to try.

...right. Then what do you propose we all do, since we don't really have SA?

Never mind that I actually AM anxious around people, and no matter how hard I try I feel like there are chains around my true personality. This isn't me being bitter, it's just been a fact of my life. Why? I don't know. Perhaps my brain is wired differently (I happen to think it is). But I don't let SA be the reason I don't do anything in life. I try anyway. But I can't help but be frustrated when others seem to have it so easy.

There are so many of these threads anyway Social phobia is real, sorry. It's obvious.

I came from a long way; I am perhaps 50%-60% better than before but it took me a year and a half of trying so many things and learning many more to get where I am... Then 2 months ago, I hit rock bottom and decided to go the easy way, blame it on SA and went to the doctors since I never did so before... I ended up becoming far worse and required some couple of months of mental self recovery and withdrawal from medications...

Now I learned from that horrible experience; I gotta work to get where I want.. I gotta do things I hate to do to get where I want and yes hard work seems to be bloody hard... Now I know if something I dont like happens in my life; then I got to adapt to it not bitch about it..

 

[user deleted]

Re: Realizing Social Anxiety Can Make Things Worse..

Yep.

Man we needed someone like you on this forum

We're in cahoots.

It took me much longer than it should have to come up with that pun. The pay-off really wasn't worth it, in retrospect

 

[Opaline]

I came from a long way; I am perhaps 50%-60% better than before but it took me a year and a half of trying so many things and learning many more to get where I am... Then 2 months ago, I hit rock bottom and decided to go the easy way, blame it on SA and went to the doctors since I never did so before... I ended up becoming far worse and required some couple of months of mental self recovery and withdrawal from medications...
Now I learned from that horrible experience; I gotta work to get where I want.. I gotta do things I hate to do to get where I want and yes hard work seems to be bloody hard... Now I know if something I dont like happens in my life; then I got to adapt to it not bitch about it..

Meh, I deleted my post anyway, I think I misunderstood something you said in the original post.

 

[Opaline]

Re: Realizing Social Anxiety Can Make Things Worse..

We're in cahoots.

It took me much longer than it should have to come up with that pun. The pay-off really wasn't worth it, in retrospect

Hah


_________

 

[Honda]

I am better off healing myself and pushing myself to get where I want to... I would rather do it myself instead of waiting for others to poke me into it..

I find my theory valid based on my experiences... What is really false about it??

I dont think its pessimism at all...

 

[twiggle]

I think you deserve some credit, Honda, for the fact you've come a long way in your recovery - but people react to anxiety in different ways because it varies from person to person: It's causes, it's effects, it's visibilty. Your experiences with anxiety are not necessarily going to be the same as everybody elses.

Many people may 'blame' their anxiety for the fact that they don't feel confident at public speaking, for example. But attributing this to the anxiety isn't the same as deflecting responsibility away from the self, it's just an explanation as to why somebody doesn't feel comfortable talking to large crowds. It doesn't mean they're not working on it.

I agree with some of your sentiment - that being that people must try and be somewhat proactive in their quest to overcome anxiety - but I think most people here are trying, doing the things which scare them, taking (or planning to take) the steps that move them forward, even just thinking and trying to work out the issue - it's all something.

 

[niceguyJosh]

right on man you are so right. and the people who would disagree are mostly people caught up in rationalizations on top of other rationalizations of how they are just "stuck like this" blah blah blah.. on one level we want the best for them, but on another level they have to save themselves first cuz they are really the only ones that have the power to change their behaviors and life situations.

you should check out rsdnation.com i think you might really resonate with a lot of the self actualization stuff they talk about

 

[Honda]

Cowards and Life Dodgers from Tumblr.com

I have lost sympathy for the meek. There is no kind of person in this world that aggravates me and earns my ire quite like cowards. Too ****ing weak and indecisive to make a simple decision? Kill yourself. The world is tough and mean, there is no place for you here and the constant burden that you are to everyone around you who are forced to adapt their behavior to accommodate your sensitivities and weakness is shameful and repulsive. That’s why you have so few friends, that’s why you’re always on your computer doing nothing, contributing nothing of value to anyone anywhere. Nobody wants to be around the shy and indecisive pathetic wretch that you are. To the average human, being with you is like being stuck with a young crying child that’s too weak and defenseless to even live without the aid of others. You are a human parasite, never contributing anything to this world while continuously and unrepentantly feeding off the success of others. Life dodgers are a disgusting waste of human potential. You are a compromising loser and you probably always will be. The thing that most draws my contempt for these people is that there is no reason to be afraid of taking action and to actively pursue what ever it is they want, the fear that prevents them from doing so is a construct of their own design. Every single person on this planet gets anxious and scared, everyone has trouble making decisions, but once you form a habit of being compromising and submissive than you may as well not even be human in my eyes, for you have given up the most crucial and sacred aspect of humanity, the power to act and make decisions for ourselves that we call free will. You have voluntarily surrendered your free will to your fear. Stop hiding from the world, stop wallowing in your own self pity, stop rationalizing your shameful behavior by claiming that there is nothing you can do about it because you have “social anxiety” or whatever excuse you may use to justify being so damned cowardly. Social anxiety? Pathetic. That someone can be so insecure and have such a warped view on their own worth and value to the world that they are too afraid to even speak their mind on simple topics and issues or engage in every day normal human interaction without making themselves a text book example of poor communication skills is absolutely loathsome. For too long I have dealt with weaklings and cowards with kindness and understanding, I felt bad for them and pitied them for their weakness, no more. These cowards will no longer receive any sympathy or lenience from me. You deserve to be treated as what you are, a worthless coward. What is it that you are afraid of? Afraid that if you take action or express your true feelings that you may be torn from your computer/television screen and actually experience what it’s like to be alive? You disgust me more than mere words can aptly describe. Grow a ****ing spine and be somebody instead of an empty shell of a person, filled with pop culture bull**** and celebrity worship as a substitute for the personality you were so tragically born without. Is it really easier to live your entire life as a faceless number, just another person in the crowd of other non contributing losers than it is to simply be yourself? There is nothing easier than being yourself, you don’t have to do anything, you simply have to exist. Have courage you fool, don’t be afraid of things that can’t kill you. If you can face your fear and overcome it, then congratulations, you are a friend and boon to all mankind and have earned my respect and admiration, we can use more people like you. If you know your fear but choose to instead run and hide from it without ever even giving it an honest fight, then step aside and make way for those of us who can do the fighting for you, you are in our way and slowing us all down.

 

[string3r]

I agree with most of your points, but that imperious tone of yours is uncalled for.

 

[TheTemp]

I fight for my self every single day. Fighting against my urges to be indifferent. Forcing myself to have an opinion, forcing myself to engage in what I find completely and utterly mundane. Because I have been strong before, I know what it's like to reep the benefits of life. I'm not strong again yet but I'm a fighter. There should be a clause about people working their way to success and not accepting what others consider to be an inevitability. I'm the TEMP, this is temporary because I will get out of it.


*dramatic exit* ...

*comes back*

You are a sick ****, bringing that Cowards and Life Dodgers post in here in an attempt to motivate people. It's enough that some people really feel hopeless but to ****ing marginalize them like society has already been doing so is ****ing pathetic. Especially because you are someone who has suffered before.

Meditation, self love, passion, not love for power, are the way out of social anxiety. It comes from a place of peace and love, not fury.

Your first post was good, the last thing you posted was pathetic, reminded me of an essay I wrote when I was so ****ed up on drugs calling weak people "slave like" because of their acceptance of their condition quoting Nietzche. No compassion. Acceptance is the way out. Not despair. But acceptance. There's a huge ****ing difference.

I'm happier being the way I am now, at least I know that my strength comes from a place of love.

 

[Lea]

Again this is the opinion which is half true, half isn´t. You should know that Honda, so chill a bit ::. I agree with what Opaline said about the chains around personality. I believe we should attempt to do our best in life, only to deny completely our problems would be hypocritical. SA is real and some people have it way more difficult than others. To wallow over it, no but to deny it is not right either. I agree though about the whole medicine/psychiatry business, I advise everyone to stay out of it as it is just one big rip-off and artificial illusion. Which in the end only makes people more insane than they are, when they fall in the hands of insane psychiatrists.