conversation busters

cowboyup

Well-known member
Ever run into that “one person” who can really push your buttons? Challenge even the least anxious person into a bumbling pile of mush?

I went out last night, pushed my way thru my anxieties and doubts, and just did it. Now I am over thinking and over analyzing every detail.

A classmate asked me out to the movie & dinner. No big deal. But now I am riddled with doubts, insecurities and well, irritation. I would try to contribute to the convo and be constantly rejected by the “no, that is completely wrong” attitude he’d say the opposite.

Nothing earth shattering. Example: mosquitoes and being bit. Well I read medical studies that reported ppl with higher anxiety levels tend to not get bitten as much because of something the body emits and mosquitoes don’t like. He said I was wrong. OK. Whatever. Next convo topic: meteorites. I said I watched documentary stating sometimes if you are lucky and very patient you may be able to find a meteorite with metal detector. Granted, one may not just find one anywhere…blah blah blah…but he again chimed in and said, “you are assuming meteorites are magnetic”
Umm, yes, they have been proven that they, in fact are. I had a hard time with this one and just dropping it. But finally I said, ok, whatever.
Next subject: usenet and legality of its use. He showed me how he gets his movies, tv shows, etc. Well, I know about usenet and a general understanding how it’s done. No problem. But he clearly stated that he doesn’t use torrent sites yet there in his tabs was piratebay. I said, well why is one of your tabs on piratebay? He tapdanced about this one saying that there are some obscure things he might like and once in a while he’ll use torrent sites. “Usenet sites are legal, for a fee and you pay for that security and anonymity”, he stated. I understand, but also on the flip side is that doesn't everyone leave a trace on the internet, therefore with (albeit a lot of) probing, it's still there?

There were a couple others, but you get where I’m going…

And by NO means do I claim to 'know it all' ... in fact, I'll be first to admit I do NOT know much...

Has anyone been put off or annoyed by someone who just continues to debunk you when you are trying to converse, a moot point as to whether one is right or wrong, just conversation – we learn from each other, get over it, ya know?

I don’t think I’ll be seeing this one except for in class. Awkward. But now I am rethinking everything I learn and feel “oh crap, it’s all wrong”…

Am I misinterpreting everything I hear and see and study? Am I that completely off that much or was he just messing with my head? Lol
 
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GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Sounds like he had a desperate need to be in control of the conversation and, by extension, you. Not a good sign at all. Congratulations on taking a chance, though. Maybe the next time will be easier and bring better results.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Oh, gosh, I have a friend interstate that does this! He is a smart man, I'll give him that, but he likes others to know about it by unleashing his trivia on you and he likes to correct you.

I don't know what you can do with this person. Maybe just humour him? I really don't know. He's just got one of those personalities.
 

cowboyup

Well-known member
^^^ thanks, guys :)

Yes, it took a lot of self talk and an anti anxiety pill :rolleyes:
to go out and I get this...ugh

Now I think of all the clever things I could have said instead of my "oh, ok" answer, lol....usually how it goes, right?
 

Hellhound

Super Moderator
I would have gotten ticked off and called him out.

"Hey, are you going to have a conversation or are you going to invalidate everything I say? What the f*ck?"

I have low tolerance for bull.
 

dottie

Well-known member
i agree with graybeard. he's probably insecure. find someone else to hang out with if he is that obnox to you.
 
Reading your post, it seems like your friend's taking things a bit too seriously. Some people (actually a lot of "nerds" that I know) love debating with people and aren't afraid to disagree. I do this too. It's important to realize that it is 100% okay to disagree with someone. But just don't let it get personal.

Meteorites, mosquito bites, piratebay.. Those just fun topics to chat about right? No need to get argumentative. It doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong. Who cares? Unfortunately sometimes I do meet people who simply refuses to let it go if I don't agree with their opinion. They would proceed to make it their mission to convince me.. When this happens, I'd just change the topic. Or if they really pissed me off, I dare them bet $$ on it and they usually back off lol. No big deal right?
 

cosmosis

Well-known member
Ahh, know it all types drive me crazy. They are annoying to be friends with, but I certainly would go insane being in a relationship with one. I tend to just stay away from those kinds.
 

Richey

Well-known member
Most conversations are so absurd, either ones i engage in with certain people or conversations i listen to that i don't even know what is normal, so if was you i wouldn't worry about it at all. for instance there is one guy at work, he charms everyone and has a big ego, is usually silly and jokes around alot, yet whenever i become chatty he shoots me down and even adds very shallow jokes to try and put me down, for instance, when robbie williams or kylie plays on radio he'll say "you like kylie" dont you, even though i'm into rock music and he knows im not into pop music, he does it to put me down in front of the others to boost his esteem, arrogant. its a form of bullying and social demeaning, he also enjoys counter arguments for the sake of contradicting.

You will come across all sorts of personalities, some toxic, some not, loud silly people, quiet/nice people, sometimes complex.

best to not let any of it get to you, to me awkward is normal, i mean most conversations aren't smooth and natural or relaxed, especially the ones i hear at work. i think alot of people have some inner civil war going on where they are not in the environment they truly desire whether its work, home, lifestyle so it effects their conversation, opinions, ability to relax etc. so being 100% comfortable is tricky for them.
 
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razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
I don't know what you can do with this person. Maybe just humour him? I really don't know. He's just got one of those personalities.

Some people are just like that. And sometimes it is a lost cause. Nothing we can really do about it but avoid them, though that is what we are trying not do, right? I do get exhausted by such people. One-uppers too.

Now I think of all the clever things I could have said instead of my "oh, ok" answer, lol....usually how it goes, right?

Happens to me all the time too. I think of what I could have said. Bothers me for days after.

You did great though. You went out, and you brought up interesting topics for conversation.
 
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