Hopping along - Hoppy's journal

Hoppy

Well-known member
Today I sold 40 of these little jeeps, my biggest order so far. I started making these last year for an extra bit of income, and everybody seems to like them.

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Hoppy

Well-known member
I had a rare outing today, going to the big city to deliver and collect. Out and back and no dawdling because the poor paranoid (insert any insult you can think of here) are so worried about me driving alone.

And having decided on Monday that this is going to be the program for today this Wednesday morning they were scrambling around as if it were only decided this morning.

And being them, it meant I only left at half past 10, because I first had to sit down and have tea first, no matter how busy my schedule was. I am used to it, I can rationalise it, explain it to myself and relax about it but somewhere in the absolute core of me there is this tighly knit bundle of stress that no amount of effort can keep away.

So I delivered, collected and then the morning was over and I wanted to visit a tender sale, but they weren't open today so I sort of scraped together a bit/lot of courage and went to visit my cousin.

It was the first time I've seen her since last year November, and I was extremely upset with them, and I had a short visit, but the tension for me were almost unbearable. I fortunately had to leave, but are still trying to figure out if experiencing the stress is worth the effort. I think the problem just exist in my own head, and if I can get it sorted out there I would be OK, but I cannot do it on my own, and do not know where to turn.

And I saw a quote on an advertising board: "Life starts where the comfort zone ends."
 

Hoppy

Well-known member
I had a little piece I wanted to write about this, but then I realised that the people who understand this don't need the explaining and the people who need the explaining won't understand it.

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And the picture is dragged from revolutionfromhome.com
 
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Hoppy

Well-known member
I visited my only other friend yesterday.

I have not seen him for a while, and I realised that this friendship is over. Not because of any dramatic disagreement, but just because our lives had grown apart a lot, and the only reason we still have something to talk about is because of our shared history. It has been coming a long time, and if I do not initiate contact at all it would be over completely.

And I am not sure it would be worth the bother.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
I visited my only other friend yesterday.

I have not seen him for a while, and I realised that this friendship is over. Not because of any dramatic disagreement, but just because our lives had grown apart a lot, and the only reason we still have something to talk about is because of our shared history. It has been coming a long time, and if I do not initiate contact at all it would be over completely.

And I am not sure it would be worth the bother.
I guess it happens all the time. Well if you think its not worth then maybe you shouldn't bother.
 

Hoppy

Well-known member
An interesting article in Scientific American on stress on the higher brain function.

The positive side is that it is possible to train yourself that your brain function better under stress, and that relaxation, deep breathing and meditation reduce the stress response.

Last paragraph:
"Perhaps by learning how the brain reacts to stress, you may came away with an enhanced sense of control. So maybe next time you are taking a test or speaking in public and your mind goes blank, you can say to yourself: "This is just my brain trying to save me from a tiger". Maybe it will bring a comforting smile to your face even if it does not bring the correct answer or word to mind."

Scientific American, April 2012: In Brief:

Freezing under stress, a common experience for all of us at some point in our life, has its roots in a loss of control over “executive functions” that allow us to control our emotions.

Prefrontal cortical areas, which serve as the brain’s executive command centers, normally hold our emotions in check by sending signals to tone down activity in primitive brain systems.

Under even everyday stresses, the prefrontal cortex can shut down, allowing the amyg*dala, a locus for regulating emotional activity, to take over, inducing mental paralysis and panic.

Researchers are probing further the physiology of acute stress and are considering behavioral and pharmaceutical interventions to help us retain composure when the going gets tough.

Periodic stress meter
 

Hoppy

Well-known member
I'm supposed to do some work tonight, but am procrastinating.

The Sanity Score Test

General Coping 46
Life Events 28
Depression 56
Anxiety 86
Phobias 42
Self-Esteem 58
Eating Disorders 65 Extremely silly, it is the one thing I have absolutely no control about or are allow to make choices about.
Schizophrenia 5
Dissociation 17
Mania 40
Sexual Issues 13 Lack of opportunity, rather than lack of desire
Relationship Issues 25 Should be called lack of relationships
Alcohol 33 I've no idea why, I don't drink at all
Drugs 0
Physical Issues 0
Smoking Issues 0
Gambling Issues 0
Technology Issues 63 Internet is my social life.
Obsessions/Compulsions 81 My OCD is so borderline, I tend to ignore it, except for the touching
Posttraumatic Stress 50
Borderline Traits 46
 

coyote

Well-known member
An interesting article in Scientific American on stress on the higher brain function...

quite interesting

i seem to be one of those people that functions better under stress

left in peace, i gravitate towards the void of doing nothing at all

i then have to create a crisis situation in order to generate enough stress to propel me into action

seems that's the only way anything gets done

i can see why it would be exhausting to live with me

and why some people might choose not to
 

Hoppy

Well-known member
I've been thinking today about the Sanity Test, and all the questions they asked and my answers.

And it made me wonder if I gave the answers I did because I want to get that results?

And if I'm honest with myself?

If I could look at my life today with fresh eyes, would I really answer them the same way?

It would be nice to have someone to talk to to discuss this. I wish I could afford a therapist.
 

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
quite interesting

i seem to be one of those people that functions better under stress

left in peace, i gravitate towards the void of doing nothing at all

i then have to create a crisis situation in order to generate enough stress to propel me into action

seems that's the only way anything gets done

i can see why it would be exhausting to live with me

and why some people might choose not to
This about sums me up as well! :)
 

Hoppy

Well-known member
Another one from Ittybiz

If an asteroid is flying through space, it won't ever stop.

It just keeps flying and flying until something stops it.

If it's hurtling, it'll hurtle.

If it's trucking, it'll truck.

If it's drifting, it'll drift.

Forever and ever and ever, until something happens to change it.

We in the industry refer to the agent of change as "the
Interplanetary Space Fairy".

The Interplanetary Space Fairy comes in the night and does
something magical to the asteroid and makes it move, or change
direction, or stop.

(Yes, there is totally nighttime in space.)

=-=-=-=

I've been noticing a trend among ittybiz owners.

OK, yes, I've been noticing it primarily in myself.

But that's only because I'm around me 24 hours a day.

You do it, too, I promise.



Let's say there's something you should be doing.

Actually, no.

Let's say there's something you WANT to be doing.

Hmm. That's not quite right either.

It would be more accurate to say that you want the results of
having done it.

Maybe it's optimizing for search engines.

Maybe it's following up with old customers.

Maybe it's getting off your ass and making some damn money already.

You find the task overwhelming, and when you consider beginning
work on it, you say:

"I'll get to it later."

(This is usually preceded by a guttural sound that, if spelled,
would look something like "ARGUKH".)



Now, I'm not coming out against putting things off. I'm actually a
huge fan of the practice.

(Some of my best friends put things off!)

I've found since childhood that in many cases, if you put something
off for long enough, someone else will do it for you.

Anecdotal evidence supports this.

When I sit in the corner and whine for iced tea for long enough,
yes, eventually Jamie or Dave or one of the ninjas will get one for
me.

The problem arises when I try to apply the same logic
indiscriminately.

If I sit in the corner and whine for a Facebook ad campaign, I
don't generally get the same result.



The problem with overwhelm
It seems that we, as ittybiz owners, have collectively agreed to
agree that the feeling of overwhelm is normal.

And we're right.

We've agreed that it's natural.

And we're right.

We've agreed that the only reasonable solution to overwhelm is to
ignore what we should be doing and find something funner to do
instead.



Not so fast there, tiger.

Because here's the thing.

If it's too hot to clean your oven, but the temperature will drop
20 degrees tomorrow, sure. Grab a beer and take a load off.

But if you live in Hawaii, it's not going to get any easier
tomorrow.

Or next month.

Or in 2015.

Nothing is ever going to change.

Same with ittybiz overwhelm.

And if you find it overwhelming today, you'll find it overwhelming
tomorrow.

When we start playing the "But it's so overwhelming!" card, we
don't stop to ask ourselves:

Do we have ANY evidence to support that it will be ANY less
overwhelming at ANY time in the future?

We do not.

"I will wait until it's less overwhelming," sounds perfectly
reasonable.

The perfectly synonymous "I will do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about this
until the overwhelm fairy comes in the night" somehow does not.

But isn't that what we say? If we're honest?



May I offer some suggestions?

If this is you, I offer two possible courses of action.

(If your overwhelm stems from lack of a solid plan, we have a class
for that in a few weeks, so sitting around and waiting for THAT is
a valid exemption. It's called Your Next 6 Months - watch for it.)

1. Every time you suffer from overwhelm-related procrastination,
say these words out loud in front of a mirror:

"I will do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about this until the overwhelm fairy
comes in the night."

Stand there and look at yourself until somebody blinks.

This is not to shame you or guilt you into action. This is to
assist you in reclaiming your status as an adult and taking full
responsibility for your plans and actions.

If your plan is to do nothing, look yourself in the eye and say so.

2. If that doesn't work, make a list of five to 10 things you've
been putting off due to overwhelm.

Find a supportive person, online or in real life. (If they're
online, schedule a quick Skype chat with them, ideally video so you
can see each other's faces.)

Read them your list, one item at a time.

After each item, pause for them to respond.

They should respond, "What is your plan for dealing with that?"

You should say:

"I will do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it until the overwhelm fairy
comes in the night."

Repeat with each item.

If your plan is to do nothing, look someone else in the eye and say
so.



On plans and acting like a grown-up
If you have a plan, own it.

Preach it.

Shout it from the rooftops.

If you wouldn't be comfortable shouting your plan from the
rooftops, perhaps it's time for a new plan.
 

Hoppy

Well-known member
And my brother is off on holiday, and I have to go and man his stall at the market.

I have done it before, but since good sales means talking to lot of people I will have to talk to a lot of people to make good sales. The talking I can handle, but I've noticed that the anxiety keeps mounting so that halfway through the morning I have to get away for a while to relax.

And I have to stand up at 3:30 am, and it is now winter. Sympathy would be appreciated.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
And my brother is off on holiday, and I have to go and man his stall at the market.

I have done it before, but since good sales means talking to lot of people I will have to talk to a lot of people to make good sales. The talking I can handle, but I've noticed that the anxiety keeps mounting so that halfway through the morning I have to get away for a while to relax.

And I have to stand up at 3:30 am, and it is now winter. Sympathy would be appreciated.

Wow that's ridiculously early, specially at winter. I hope everything goes well, good luck!
 

Hoppy

Well-known member
Thanks Sjirita. It is absolutely ridiculously early, but the market opens at 6, and it is surprising how many people there are.

Sales was about average, nothing special, but at least not bad. I talked to lots of people, the only time I started to panic was when I started getting stomach cramps. I used to have it a lot in the old days, but realising what it was and a few deep breaths made it go away.

And a thing I've noticed before, do not judge people on their looks. You cannot know what a person will be like until you've talked to him/her. Children are always surprising, and age is absolutely no indicator of what will come out of a person's mouth.

And I looked at a lot of women, but more about it later.
 

Hoppy

Well-known member
There has been a lot of agonising on this forum in the past about looks and beauty, so a few thoughts on that.

I talked to a lot of people Saturday, and had a look at a lot of women, and came to the following very superficial conclusions. (I had a lot of time to think )

There are a few types of females: (looking from the relationship viewpoint)

The obviously beautiful ones - 1%
These are the ones when they approach, I stare at

The less obviously beautiful ones - 2%
Those I looked past at first and after a few moments realise I am missing something and have to look again.

The normal ones - 97%
The general sort of female, I am aware of their existance, but doesn't really look, except for a few factors:

Age: The ones obviously older than me I miss.

Well dressed: by that I mean the picture I see is good, not just wearing whatever came up in rotation,

Strangely dressed : I tend to like hippies and goths, I admire their guts to dress the way they do.

Communication: The women who talked to me can be divided into two groups:
  • The ones that as the conversation continue, I become more interested in, 20%.
  • The ones that as the conversation continues, I become less interested in, 80%.
Availability: Walking alone or with a group of females make you much more appealing than walking with a male.

The ugly ones - 0%
It may sound strange to you, but I haven't seen a single female I would classify as ugly.

In the end I should guess that only about 10% of all the females I have seen, I would be interested in. Adjusting for age, I would guess that number would drop to about 7% .

So for any female out there who are interested in getting me: Dress neatly , be at least my age or younger, and talk to me. And the only one that is really important is the talking bit.

And for any female out there who believes she is ugly: No, you are not.
 
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