Hopping along - Hoppy's journal

[Hoppy]

Overcoming loneliness

 

[Hoppy]

From Younger next year

I do number 4.

Harry’s Rules

1.Exercise six days a week for the rest of your life. Don’t think of it as exercise. Think of it as sending a constant ‘grow’ message…as telling your body to get stronger, more limber, functionally younger, in the only language your body understands. Do it because it’s the only thing that works.

2.Do serious aerobic exercise four days a week for the rest of your life. Hard aerobics, working up a good sweat, is our favorite exercise rhythm because [it] brings out our youngest and best biology: strong, fast, energetic, and optimistic all day long. Tell your body it’s springtime.

3.Do serious strength training, with weights, two days a week for the rest of your life. Generally, we aren’t aware of nerve decay as we get older, but it’s the main reason our joints wear out, our muscles get sloppy, and our ability to be physically alert and powerful begins to fade. And it is reversible with strength training.

4.Spend less than you make. Time to quit playing and come inside. Come inside your income. Try to do it early. As with smoking, you can recover. It takes time and earlier is better, but do it.

5.Quit eating crap! Never go on a diet again. The only way to lose weight is to embark on a program of steady, vigorous exercise, avoiding the worst foods (french fries, almost all fast food, processed snacks with names that end with the letter “O”), and eating less of everything.

6.Care. There have to be people and causes you care about. Doesn’t seem to matter much what the causes are. They don’t have to be important to society or make money, as long as they’re important to you.

7.Connect and commit. There is a terrible temptation, in our 60s and 70s, to close up shop and narrow our lives. In most cases, retirement already does that, and it’s tempting to just go along with the program, get narrower and narrower. Well, don’t. It’s killing us. We have to exercise our social, pack-animal gifts as vigorously as we exercise our bodies. That means adding friends, doing more stuff, getting out there, and being involved.

 

[Hoppy]

Note to self: Please learn to open your post as you receive it, that way you won't be in the bloody mess you are now.

Note to both my readers: It isn't as much a crises as just feeling extremely stupid. I've now got two accounts that is way beyond due date, not because I haven't got money, but just because I do not open my mail, and I've completely forgotten about paying it. So welcome to late fees and feeling stupid.

I really have to get this accounting/paperwork thing sorted out. It is not difficult. I am not stupid. I just have this complete mindblock about it.(And I prefer to spend time online as well.)

 

[Hoppy]

Dilbert comic strip for 04/08/2012 from the official Dilbert comic strips archive.

 

[Hoppy]

“For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?”

—Jimmy Dean

I'm good at the why.
Why not is not too bad,
Why not me I manage
but the Why not now I completely fail at.

 

[Hoppy]

"I'm up the wall
and round the bend
and going slowly crazy.
And everything I did last week
is absolutely hazy.
The days flew by
but where I went
I have no comprehension,
All I knew I didn't do
most thing of my intention."

I finished cleaning out the metalworkshop at work today. It became a crisis when I couldn't find a flat spot on a table to put a clipboard on. It took me almost a month, on and off. Everything is clean, sorted, ready to start working in. Now I have to get on with all the things I didn't do while busy cleaning.

 

[EscapeArtist]

What is that? Song lyrics? Poem?

 

[Hoppy]

I've been digging through my bookshelfs for something to read and found How to be your own Best Friend by Dr Paul Hauck. It isn't much of an academic book, just a short 110 page book with advice and ideas, and as he said in the introduction, it has to be read a few times to get the ideas into your mind.

In chapter 5 there is a little passage on Co-operation, respect and love, and it it he has these rules:

Rule 1: If people do something nice to you, do something nice to them.
Rule 2: If people do something bad to you, do something nice to them anyway, but only twice.
Rule 3: If people continue to treat you badly, and talking to them has not helped, then do something equally annoying to them, but do it without anger, guilt, pity, or fear of rejection or injury.

It sounds a bit glib, but only after reading it a few times I realised what rule 3 really says; without fear of rejection, without fear of injury. If you cannot do something back to them without being rejected or injured, do they still deserve love and respect?

And there are 4 options if you find a situation unacceptable:

Option 1: Toleration without resentment
Option 2: Protest
Option 3: Separation
Option 4: Toleration with resentment.

1 is easy, everybody know someone with some quirks you don't like but are willing to live with. 2 everybody has done to some extent and if that don't work you have to go to 3 or 4.

I've recently done the separation bit with people who were not willing to listen to my protests, and I really feel much more comfortable about it. I do miss them a little, but they don't seem to miss me and that I can live with.

The toleration with resentment is tearing me apart. I've tried to protest, and it didn't work. I've tried without resentment, but I hate what they do to me too much. So now I'm going for separation. It is going to be a long process, and they have been obstructing me for the past 10 years, but I'm going to get there, 38500 to go, 15 months at the present rate.

What is that? Song lyrics? Poem?

No, just some doggerel that has been in my mind for a few years now.

I listened to an interview with a writer a few years abck and he said it is sad that with all the wonderful poetry and writings there is in this world the only things that really stuck is the non-important things.

And then he quoted this little gem:

"I wish I was a little grub
that sailed upon my tummy.
I would sail into a honey pot
and make my tummy yummy"

And I heard it once and I still remember it.

 

[Hoppy]

 

[Hoppy]

Bath prop Duncan Bell: my secret battle against the beast of depression away fromthe rugby field

 

[Hoppy]

Frank Warren: Half a million secrets - YouTube

 

[Hoppy]

I am at work this morning.

There is some trouble in the community on service delivery, so roads are blocked, the police is out.

And only three people arrived at work this morning. All three of them are busy with production work, they don't need any supervision, and I'm feeling lazy.

Any suggestions?

 

[hidwell]

I am at work this morning.

There is some trouble in the community on service delivery, so roads are blocked, the police is out.

And only three people arrived at work this morning. All three of them are busy with production work, they don't need any supervision, and I'm feeling lazy.

Any suggestions?

You could always read a book.

 

[Hoppy]

Oh well, I did try the reading but it didn't last long before I was called to help with something.

And I got a phone call from a customer that wanted something urgently. "A lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part." I wish I could say that. Dropped that off after work with the paint still wet.

And I visited the neighbouring workshop that are busy installing a very, very expensive new CNC beamsaw and a dust extraction system.

And I finally went to the bank to pay over money. And what felt like a major hurdle in my life turned out to be a complete non-event, and everything went smooth. ""Once you cross the line it disappear."

I consider this day succesful.

 

[Hoppy]

I am also lying to myself, is that the reason the relationship with the other person in my head isn't good?

I’d like to share a somewhat lengthy quote from Cloud and Townsend’s Boundaries in Dating. The author mentions a psychology seminar he took talking about people with character disorders, defined loosely as people who don’t take ownership and responsibility for their lives:

“I will never forget what the instructor said about the number-one priority – other than protecting your personal safety – in treating character disorders. As soon as there is any kind of deception, stop everything. If you are trying to help someone and he is lying to you in some way, there is no relationship. The whole thing is a farce, and you should not go any further in trying to help the person until you settle the issue of deception. There are no other issues at that point except that one.”

They go on to say that in your life, including your dating life, “you should have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to deception.” They lay out some strategies for dealing directly with deception if it happens in a relationship you care about, and suggest that unless the person owns it, you can’t move forward. “To the extent that you’re being deceived, there is no relationship.” - Magnolia (some forum somewhere)

 

[Hoppy]

On Friday I went walkabout for a change. The Hunting exhibition was on and I wanted to visit that. I do not hunt myself and do not want to hunt but there was a lot of knifemakers and I have met a few of the guys and wanted to look at their knives.

And I learned a lot about things I have never even thought about. There was a stand with airsoft guns and I had a look at that and come close to buying the show special. It was close, but it was a beautiful gun, I will probably regret not buying it in future.

After that I went to see The Hunger Games. Since I've read the first review I felt upset about it, somehow the whole story mess with my mind, and so I decided to cross the line and did go and see it. I'm still upset, but my mind is clearer now. It has happened to me with some books before so I am used to the feeling and trying to work through it.

 

[Hoppy]

 

[Hoppy]

Earlier this week there has been a thread on trouble with organising and I replied there, but I would like to write a bit more about it here.

I am a slob. I would like to say I hate cleaning up but my mind for some strange reason doesn't see clutter and dirtiness very well, so eventually by the time I realise the place is a mess, it has gone beyond bad. So I lived like that for too many years, leaving it like it is because cleaning up is such a big job that I just cannot get time to do anything.

A few years ago during one of my bright and enthusiastic periods I went online for ideas and found Flylady. And I found a lot of good ideas there, but as part of my procrastinating strategy of life I chose only one. I bought a kitchen timer, set it for 15 minutes and every evening after getting out of bath I cleaned my living spaces for 15 minutes and 15 minutes only.

In the beginning it felt absolutely hopeless, since the mess was very bad, but after a few weeks/months things has improved a lot. Eventually I reached the point that it was difficult to find things to do to fill up the 15 minutes, so I started dusting in strange corners just to fill up the time. Tonight for instance I put some books away, sorted my hanging clothes, dusted my shoe shelf and put some books in order.

It is an amazing feeling to sit on the bed and look around and see nothing dirty or out of its place, and it never took more than 15 minutes a day.

For my paperwork I have used the book Getting things Done by David Allen. At first it freaked me out, but I've downsized it for my own requirements, and has helped me a lot with my admin and while it will never be as good as my housekeeping it is at least manageable. It also helped me at work, my desk is only half cluttered.

One of the tips of keeping these cleaning tasks from exploding again is the one minute principle: Any task that will take less than one minute to accomplish has to be done immediately. A minute is a long time, it is amazing how much clothes you can fold in that time.

Try it, only 15 minutes at a time.

 

[Hoppy]

The Utterly and Completely Definitive Guide to Cool


And just to balance things out, my favourite scene from "Almost Famous"

Uncool - Almost Famous - YouTube

 

[Hoppy]

They are just not that special.