Srijita52
Well-known member
anxious and blah
I'm sorry. What's wrong?
anxious and blah
Today an occurance as rare a a solar eclipse happened,the phone
rung and it was actually for me.
It was a friend calling and asking if I wanted to hang out with him. We just walked around town in the california like weather talking and chatting. I asked him what was new and he talked of all the new things in his life from the people hes meeting to the amazing things hes doing to the aspirations and life dreams he has. When he asked what was new with me I simply looked down to the sidewalk and tried to change the subject
as best as I could.
Soon after he had to leave and we parted ways. I soaked in the sunset upon the steps of the old highschool where I looked into the horizon and fought back my tears.I dont even know why but it was the most empty feeling I can recall having in a very long time. I feel so worthless right about now
It probably doesnt help my mood that ive also looked at my crushes facebook profile for the first time since she moved away. Theres pictures of her and her boyfriend,she looks so happy. Ohhhhhh lord....*cracks meek,painful smile*
I'm sorry you're worrying so much. Maybe it's because school just finished and now you have to instantly adjust to not going to school for the next 3 months? Give it a little bit more time to sink in that your daily schedule is now wildly different and you'll find you can enjoy your time off a little more.Anxious, frustrated, unmotivated, blah. Four days now I've been on this rollercoaster. One day I feel like utter crap, the next I'm happy as can be. Why? I don't know. I've only been out of school a week and two days and I already feel like I'm wasting my time and that I have very little time left. I have until about the beginning of September before school starts again. I have 3 months to get my license, move out, get a job (this I probably won't do until school starts, just so I can understand my school schedule and work around that), while also going on a couple trips for family functions, plus I'd like to set up a road trip with a couple friends since we've always wanted to do something like that together. At least those are my plans. Seems like enough time right? Why the heck am I worrying so much?
That's good! Despite being your heaviest, getting all that muscle is certainly going to make you feel better and feel fitter, too.feeling strong yet fat. At the highest weight i've ever been, at the same time have been building muscle underneath more than usual. wwwwwwwweird...
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, SilentBird. :: Any real reason for it? I'm sure none of that is actually true.Like a bloody festering wound that is getting more inflammed, more diseased and less curable with each passing year.
Have a nice day.
^ You're right. I thought I'd be out of that school schedule, but I don't think I am quite yet. Last weekend was the hardest. I was still getting up early in the morning and then at night I felt like I needed to get stuff around for the next day. While I'm not like that anymore, I still feel like I have to rush around and do things during the day or else I feel unaccomplished.I'm sorry you're worrying so much. Maybe it's because school just finished and now you have to instantly adjust to not going to school for the next 3 months? Give it a little bit more time to sink in that your daily schedule is now wildly different and you'll find you can enjoy your time off a little more.
If you have those plans, try to get them in action! In 3 months you can accomplish all of those and I really hope you do so that when school begins again, you'll be even more ready than your previous semester.
The roller coaster sucks. I understand it far too well. Hang in there, Phoenixx, and if things get too bad, you can always chat to me.
It does take a little while to adjust to a different lifestyle. I've had to do that in the past myself. It takes time and you'll eventually settle into a routine.^ You're right. I thought I'd be out of that school schedule, but I don't think I am quite yet. Last weekend was the hardest. I was still getting up early in the morning and then at night I felt like I needed to get stuff around for the next day. While I'm not like that anymore, I still feel like I have to rush around and do things during the day or else I feel unaccomplished.
Yes, I really want to get them in action! I believe I can do it in those 3 months, it's getting around to do it is what holds me back. I'm going to text my friend this week to see if she has any time to come on over so we can browse for apartments together online since we plan on moving in together. As far as driving practice goes, I'm going to try and get out a bit more this week. I hate driving and it definitely doesn't help my SA any, but at least I'm doing better this year than last year. That reminds me I need to schedule my 5 hour course tomorrow, which I need before I can even take my driver's test. I can do this!
Thanks Mikey. You're always so incredibly helpful.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, SilentBird. :: Any real reason for it? I'm sure none of that is actually true.
I have issues from the past that linger and prod me, too. It's just a matter of dealing with it. I don't know how because I struggle with that myself.It may not be the truth, it's a feeling, hanging over me. I feel so weak, fearful and incapable of dealing with people and the past with lingering hurts.
I'm sure you appreciate some of what I am saying. I've been trying for so long and getting nowhere. I know that I have had prolonged struggles in the past and found ways to make things better. I'm hanging on, maybe I will figure out a way through it.
Thanks for caring, truely
It may not be the truth, it's a feeling, hanging over me. I feel so weak, fearful and incapable of dealing with people and the past with lingering hurts.
I'm sure you appreciate some of what I am saying. I've been trying for so long and getting nowhere. I know that I have had prolonged struggles in the past and found ways to make things better. I'm hanging on, maybe I will figure out a way through it.
Thanks for caring, truely
Hang in there guys. I'm sure you'll be able to deal with it better.I have issues from the past that linger and prod me, too. It's just a matter of dealing with it. I don't know how because I struggle with that myself.
Keep going, mate. The longer you hang on, the better grip you will get.
You're welcome.
I agree, adjusting to a new routine takes time. Good luck with your driving course Phoenixx.It does take a little while to adjust to a different lifestyle. I've had to do that in the past myself. It takes time and you'll eventually settle into a routine.
That's very cool that you and your friend want to move out together. I hope that works out for you. Driving can trigger anxiety, for sure, but I find it's the opposite for me, especially if I'm driving solo. Good luck on your 5 hour eek course tomorrow.
I'm not helpful - you already knew you could do it.
Funny you should mention this, because just a few days ago one of the doctors where I work was telling me about how people who had banana allergies were often allergic to latex. Here's the reason:Sorry you had to go through that, but I know the feeling. I get an anaphylactic reaction if I consume bananas or banana flavored anything. My chest and the back of my throat tightens, I can hardly breathe, then I start panicking and I get light headed and start to shake, ugh it's awful and scary. My doctor told me it's only a matter of time before I get the same reaction to latex because apparently they're connected (I don't know how?). Wonderful.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that!Today an occurance as rare a a solar eclipse happened,the phone
rung and it was actually for me.
I feel your pain, all too well! Sorry it didn't have a better outcome.It was a friend calling and asking if I wanted to hang out with him. We just walked around town in the california like weather talking and chatting. I asked him what was new and he talked of all the new things in his life from the people hes meeting to the amazing things hes doing to the aspirations and life dreams he has. When he asked what was new with me I simply looked down to the sidewalk and tried to change the subject
as best as I could.
Soon after he had to leave and we parted ways. I soaked in the sunset upon the steps of the old highschool where I looked into the horizon and fought back my tears.I dont even know why but it was the most empty feeling I can recall having in a very long time. I feel so worthless right about now
It probably doesnt help my mood that ive also looked at my crushes facebook profile for the first time since she moved away. Theres pictures of her and her boyfriend,she looks so happy. Ohhhhhh lord....*cracks meek,painful smile*
What's the matter, my friend?Meh...........