The fake "How are you?"
- Thread starter Checkonit22
- Start date
"How are you" is an American thing mainly. I get it much less in Europe. When I lived in the States I would just say "yeah, not bad" and then get to business. I never asked anyone else how they were because it sounds horribly contrived coming from me, and I'm really not interested in how they are anyway. If someone asks me what's up (again, usually an American thing) I always answer with "not much" followed by some sort of nonchalant quip. It's a boring custom that people have, but I suppose we all need some sort of opener. I can't stand pleasantries myself though. I always just go in somewhere and say "hi, I'm here for... " whatever it is.
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
Like everything it varies. Some care and others just feel awkward passing someone without saying anything.
jhanniffy
Well-known member
Yeah pathic communication - it's not what is being said that is important it is the fate that we are having a social interaction.
But yeah - a guy once asked me how I was and if anything strange was happening....by the time he had finished the "question" he was half way down the hallway
But yeah - a guy once asked me how I was and if anything strange was happening....by the time he had finished the "question" he was half way down the hallway
I dislike it because I have to say it as a cashier to everyone. Sometimes they respond, some don't say nuthing. Some may ask me and I'll ask how they are back and they don't say anything, and then I know it's fake because they're not actually concerned they're just saying how are you.
Eh whatever, I'd rather they say something so our entire exchange isn't awkward. It can be good to hear a genuine "how are you" once or twice in a day when I do work.
Eh whatever, I'd rather they say something so our entire exchange isn't awkward. It can be good to hear a genuine "how are you" once or twice in a day when I do work.
Aletheia
Well-known member
thwarted
There is a fantastic Front Lawn song about precisely this, and it frustrates me no end that I can't find it anywhere on the web.
But here're the lyrics for it.
There is a fantastic Front Lawn song about precisely this, and it frustrates me no end that I can't find it anywhere on the web.
But here're the lyrics for it.
this_portrait
Well-known member
A lot of times I feel like a robot whenever I say "How are you?" or something similar to it. Case in point: Just before the school year started, I went to see my supervisor to fill out a bunch of paperwork so I could get my job back for this year. When I saw her, she asked me if I had a good summer. I responded, but when I went to be polite and ask her the same question, she was already walking away back to her office (not even sure if she heard me at all).
It's like people will get mad if you don't say it, but then so many people just say it and don't even mean it. I feel it's like that with a lot of phrases; "I love you" is probably another perfect example.
It's like people will get mad if you don't say it, but then so many people just say it and don't even mean it. I feel it's like that with a lot of phrases; "I love you" is probably another perfect example.
KiaKaha
Banned
I think it depends on how it is said. "How are you?" is an an icebreaker, I think the intent behind it is more important that the actual meaning. When someone says "how are you" they arent really asking how you are... what they are really saying is "I acknowledge you, I am friendly, and I am open to talking with you" especially if its done with a smile.
It does annoy me a bit though when pleasantries are exchanged and the tone of voice is in complete contrast. If someone said "How are you" and were OBVIOUSLY displeased, or bored to see me then I would just feel insulted.
Small talk does grate me a bit, but I think its necessary... its the grease that allows more interesting conversation to come about. When you meet someone for the first time, you dont know anything about each other, so you have to convey your intent and your personality with generic meaningless chatter.
It does annoy me a bit though when pleasantries are exchanged and the tone of voice is in complete contrast. If someone said "How are you" and were OBVIOUSLY displeased, or bored to see me then I would just feel insulted.
Small talk does grate me a bit, but I think its necessary... its the grease that allows more interesting conversation to come about. When you meet someone for the first time, you dont know anything about each other, so you have to convey your intent and your personality with generic meaningless chatter.
Aletheia
Well-known member
It's taken me a long time to realize, but sometimes it's not so much what you've said, it's that you've said anything at all.
MikeyC
Well-known member
MrJones
Well-known member
When I ask "How are you?" I mean "How are you?". If I'm not really interested I don't ask.
bahahaahahaidothattoo
MikeyC
Well-known member
MrJones
Well-known member
lol that one is even better, I never used it before XD
MrJones
Well-known member
I know a guy who does similar things (like saying "please" or "thanks" randomly to whatever question :I've done that many times. Once you say it, you can't un-say it and the whole greeting goes downhill. ::
and he just laughs at himself. The key is to be able to take this things with humour. I try to do it and it works!
MikeyC
Well-known member
Yeah, I tend to brush it off - not much else you can do. :I know a guy who does similar things (like saying "please" or "thanks" randomly to whatever question :
:Your friend probably has it worse than I do!
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
I know a guy who does similar things (like saying "please" or "thanks" randomly to whatever question :
The worst one is when someone asks me a question, and I don't quite hear it, but because I'm too self-conscious to ask them to repeat it I replay with a "Yeah".
Then I see them giving me that look. The look that makes it clear that "Yeah" wasn't an applicable response to what they actually asked. :
:
MrJones
Well-known member
The worst one is when someone asks me a question, and I don't quite hear it, but because I'm too self-conscious to ask them to repeat it I replay with a "Yeah".
Then I see them giving me that look. The look that makes it clear that "Yeah" wasn't an applicable response to what they actually asked. :
Yes, I am socially awkward too
