The fake "How are you?"

Kinetik

Well-known member
"How are you" is an American thing mainly. I get it much less in Europe. When I lived in the States I would just say "yeah, not bad" and then get to business. I never asked anyone else how they were because it sounds horribly contrived coming from me, and I'm really not interested in how they are anyway. If someone asks me what's up (again, usually an American thing) I always answer with "not much" followed by some sort of nonchalant quip. It's a boring custom that people have, but I suppose we all need some sort of opener. I can't stand pleasantries myself though. I always just go in somewhere and say "hi, I'm here for... " whatever it is.
 

jhanniffy

Well-known member
Yeah pathic communication - it's not what is being said that is important it is the fate that we are having a social interaction.

But yeah - a guy once asked me how I was and if anything strange was happening....by the time he had finished the "question" he was half way down the hallway
 

Etbow23

Well-known member
I dislike it because I have to say it as a cashier to everyone. Sometimes they respond, some don't say nuthing. Some may ask me and I'll ask how they are back and they don't say anything, and then I know it's fake because they're not actually concerned they're just saying how are you.

Eh whatever, I'd rather they say something so our entire exchange isn't awkward. It can be good to hear a genuine "how are you" once or twice in a day when I do work.
 

this_portrait

Well-known member
A lot of times I feel like a robot whenever I say "How are you?" or something similar to it. Case in point: Just before the school year started, I went to see my supervisor to fill out a bunch of paperwork so I could get my job back for this year. When I saw her, she asked me if I had a good summer. I responded, but when I went to be polite and ask her the same question, she was already walking away back to her office (not even sure if she heard me at all).

It's like people will get mad if you don't say it, but then so many people just say it and don't even mean it. I feel it's like that with a lot of phrases; "I love you" is probably another perfect example.
 

KiaKaha

Banned
I think it depends on how it is said. "How are you?" is an an icebreaker, I think the intent behind it is more important that the actual meaning. When someone says "how are you" they arent really asking how you are... what they are really saying is "I acknowledge you, I am friendly, and I am open to talking with you" especially if its done with a smile.

It does annoy me a bit though when pleasantries are exchanged and the tone of voice is in complete contrast. If someone said "How are you" and were OBVIOUSLY displeased, or bored to see me then I would just feel insulted.

Small talk does grate me a bit, but I think its necessary... its the grease that allows more interesting conversation to come about. When you meet someone for the first time, you dont know anything about each other, so you have to convey your intent and your personality with generic meaningless chatter.
 

Aletheia

Well-known member
Small talk does grate me a bit, but I think its necessary... its the grease that allows more interesting conversation to come about.

It's taken me a long time to realize, but sometimes it's not so much what you've said, it's that you've said anything at all.
 

DevC

Well-known member
I know I always answer with a positive such as "good" or "not bad" even if I am not good because I want to avoid them asking why I'm not good.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I know I always answer with a positive such as "good" or "not bad" even if I am not good because I want to avoid them asking why I'm not good.
Yeah, I'm exactly the same.

Also:
"How are you?"
"Hey."

*facepalm*
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I've done that many times. Once you say it, you can't un-say it and the whole greeting goes downhill. ::p:
 

MrJones

Well-known member
I've done that many times. Once you say it, you can't un-say it and the whole greeting goes downhill. ::p:
I know a guy who does similar things (like saying "please" or "thanks" randomly to whatever question ::p:) and he just laughs at himself. The key is to be able to take this things with humour. I try to do it and it works!
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I know a guy who does similar things (like saying "please" or "thanks" randomly to whatever question ::p:) and he just laughs at himself. The key is to be able to take this things with humour. I try to do it and it works!
Yeah, I tend to brush it off - not much else you can do. ::p:

Your friend probably has it worse than I do!
 

Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
I know a guy who does similar things (like saying "please" or "thanks" randomly to whatever question ::p:) and he just laughs at himself. The key is to be able to take this things with humour. I try to do it and it works!

The worst one is when someone asks me a question, and I don't quite hear it, but because I'm too self-conscious to ask them to repeat it I replay with a "Yeah".

Then I see them giving me that look. The look that makes it clear that "Yeah" wasn't an applicable response to what they actually asked. ::eek:: :rolleyes:
 

MrJones

Well-known member
The worst one is when someone asks me a question, and I don't quite hear it, but because I'm too self-conscious to ask them to repeat it I replay with a "Yeah".

Then I see them giving me that look. The look that makes it clear that "Yeah" wasn't an applicable response to what they actually asked. ::eek:: :rolleyes:
images


Yes, I am socially awkward too :p
 
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