"You need to love yourself before others can love you."

[SeniorRedrings]

Not true.

Charles Bukowski and Chris Farley as primes examples..of...what ...I..say....

*clears throat*

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

If that's the case then I'll never be loved.

 

[MrJones]

I hope it's not true...

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I love this phrase!

I think that all these things you despise about yourself, you can learn to except it because its you, and someone out there will find all these things you view bad as being perfect

That's a very nice outlook. I hope someday that can be applied to me.

 

[IGotSeoul]

I wouldn't say its 100% concrete truth, but I do see some truth in it.
You don't need to love yourself to be loved by another, of course not. There aren't many people who do love themselves anyway.

BUT, I think, if you can grow to (maybe not love, but accept) yourself, and all of your strengths and weaknesses, it WOULD help, and you would become more open to the idea of being loved by another. How many times has your lack of self-confidence caused you to shut yourself away from potential admirers? I know it has for me... And I know that one of the key things keeping me away from a relationship has always been my lack of confidence... "I don't think I can live up to his expectations", "I'm not good enough," "I'm too ugly" etc, whereas if I had more respect for myself these thoughts may be absent and I would feel more confident in pursuing a relationship.

It may not be definitive but I do believe there's some truth in it.

I've adopted this perspective.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Most ppl are just surface reacting to the phrase - it's what's underneath; the "point" of the cliche - not the literal word for word "meaning". Misery begets misery - if you hate yourself, that doesn't mean others will hate you, but it'll be harder to love you after a point if you are constantly berating yourself and believing your low-self esteem.

You don't have to dawn tye-dye t-shirts and wear flowers in your hair and prance around singing kumbayah to yourself... and you don't want to be narcissistic =D

You don't have to "love" yourself - but accept yourself. Tolerate yourself more often than not. Acceptance is what I take from it. Good and bad. Then you can move forward...

 

[Panther]

I do hate this phrase but i think if you were in a relationship where you really loved the person it would just become too overwhelming thinking how can they possibly love me and thinking theyre too good for me etc but everyone has certain bad and annoying qualities so if you notice these yourself how can you possibly love yourself and if your not happy in life your not going to love yourself but then you need someone to love you to be happy so it cant really work but to a certain extent yes otherwise it would become overwhelming like really admiring someone and always knowing they cant possibly feel the same and they must be unhappy with you etc.

 

[*Amy*]

I used to despise that phrase some time ago, but then I realised it was true, at least somehow. If you act like you are sad, depressed... people will pity you at most, never love you. But if you show the world that you are in good harmony with yourself and with your surroundings, you will look kinder. Not to say if you are nice, smile... they are sure to like or at least appreciate you.

Besides, I think the way you treat yourself has a direct relation with the way you treat, or think of, what's around you. So you know

 

[RedMonkey]

......................

 

[coyote]

Love Yourself Keb Mo performed by Danielle Miraglia - YouTube

 

[Piece_By_Piece]

It's quite BS. Few people actually love themselves. You don't need to love yourself for others to love you. But it's easier for people to like you if your confident and have a high self-esteem and bla bla bla.

 

[Ms Cloud]

It's quite BS. Few people actually love themselves. You don't need to love yourself for others to love you. But it's easier for people to like you if your confident and have a high self-esteem and bla bla bla.

I don't think there's any correlation between self-esteem and attractiveness. Self-esteem comes from seeing qualities in yourself that you value. But other people don't necessarily value those same qualities. That has always been my experience.

The opposite is true as well; if you have low self-esteem, it means you don't place a lot of value on the qualities you have. But another person might see your qualities in a whole different light.

No correlation whatsoever.

 

[Piece_By_Piece]

I don't think there's any correlation between self-esteem and attractiveness. Self-esteem comes from seeing qualities in yourself that you value. But other people don't necessarily value those same qualities. That has always been my experience.

The opposite is true as well; if you have low self-esteem, it means you don't place a lot of value on the qualities you have. But another person might see your qualities in a whole different light.

No correlation whatsoever.

Well, that's true. I didn't give that much thought to the issue in the first place.

 

[Ms Cloud]

^I wasn't disagreeing with you... just elaborating. Sorry, my tone of voice always sounds argumentative even though I'm not.

 

[freestylemonster]

Am I the only one who really despises that phrase?

I used to try living up to it, don't get me wrong... But nowadays, I just think it's complete b/s. There are things I like about myself and wouldn't change for anything, but there are also a few things that I just can't stand about myself, but they're far too difficult for me to change. Hearing that phrase just seems to give me this idea that my mental health and self-esteem needs to be 100% perfect in order for anyone to even get along with me. I find that b/s, too, because I've come across plenty of people who I find have more mental health and self-esteem issues than me, yet they seem to have more people who care for them than I do.

Thoughts?

I once read an article that put a different spin on the phrase. It said not to just try to love yourself, but to take care of yourself. Love yourself by treating yourself right. Eat healthy, get enough exercise, take care of you body and you'll start to automatically feel better about yourself.

 

[Kiwong]

I know I've got to look after myself, not worrying myself to death, or eat crap food. I'd prefer people being neutral about me. Love is a bit intense, I'm not sure I feel that emotion towards myself, or anyone else.

 

[da_illest101]

Completely Bs in my opinion, Might sound wrong to say but I love myself more than anything in this world, I always did and most likely always will.

 

[Broken Beat & Scarred]

The thing is I love myself very much. Its just theres these negative core feelings that I cant seem to shake. Im too perfectionistic at my very core. I feel like I have to have the perfdect job, life, car and education before taking the plunge. If only I could concentrate my perfectionism into something positive and less neurotic.

I guess the key is to not be so hard on your self.

 

[drganon]

If that's the case, then I'm screwed.

 

[anxiety1408]

I like that quote and agree with it. Of course, you need to love yourself before others can love you. Can't really expect others to love you when you do not love yourself. I need to work on that, I need to start loving/accepting myself more. I really want a Gf, its been 2 years since my last relationship, and this quote really makes me think that hey if I dont love myself than how can I expect another girl to. Im going to work on it.