Do you think it would be easier to just accept the way you are?

ilovenoodles

ilovenoodles

1
I accepted the fact that i have troubles with society. But i will NEVER accept the fact how some people treat me or see me. I hope i can fight untill the very end of my life. I feel very depressed but i haven't tried everything yet to change that.
 
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Niteowl

Niteowl

Well-known member
Nope, I don't think that. I'm not accepting it. None of us wanted to be this way - none of us deserve to be this way. Social anxiety is an obstacle - think of it as tall grass. You don't know what's in there, so you're afraid to proceed. There will be nasty things that bite along the way. You can turn back and wait at the obstacle forever, or you can push forward, fighting your way through, and coming out at the other end a stronger person. No one's going to carry us through it. I for one don't want to be afraid of that tall grass any longer - I want to go forward, and I'm prepared to take the bites and the bruises. I want to exit at the other end and move on with my life.
 
vexatiousmind

vexatiousmind

Well-known member
I accept that I am an introvert, and am shy.

I do not accept my SA and depression. I do not want to live my life so nervous that I can't go to the store or little things like that. I take pills for my depression, if I don't I won't even get out of bed. These things are unacceptable for anyone. It's no way to live.
 
sucettes

sucettes

Well-known member
I don't think I can accept it. The SA is not me, it's just some silly thing that's here to destroy my life. It turns me into a person that I'm not. I have my own opinions, I know how to defend myself, I'm proud to be different - it's just that the SA is making me seem like a weak coward. The girl in the corner who has nothing to say, who follows all the others like some sheep in the herd. But in fact, I am pretty smart and have lots of ideas and things to say. I'm just too afraid to open up. I hate when people comment on that I'm too quiet, shy or that I'm blushing. Sometimes it's even been so bad that they ask if I'm 'okay' during a panic attack..... Maybe it would be easier to just say it like it is, that I have social phobia. But I don't want to be like this and I'm ashamed of it. It's stopping me from being myself and it isolates me. The people would probably not understand anyway, not even my family understands what I'm going through. The only person I've told is my boyfriend, but I didn't tell him until like 6 months after we got together. I was too ashamed. Luckily he's okay with it, but I don't think that he'll ever understand.. It was still a big relief to tell him though. But I don't think that I'd be able to tell anyone else or to be open about it because I don't trust anyone and it feels like people would start talking about me behind my back. It would be like "look there comes the girl with social phobia, lets say hi and see if she blush!"
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
it's difficult to solve problems if you deny their existence - so acceptance is the first step

and accepting yourself doesn't mean you can't make changes in your behavior in order to make your life better
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
Well... I'm not happy at all so whatever I'm doing now isn't working for me.
I don't know if magically not being agoraphobic will help me find happiness but I have a feeling it could be a contributing factor.
So it's better to try rather than to give up- like everything else.
 
Apotheosis

Apotheosis

Well-known member
In a sense, I think I have just given up for now.

I'm making no attempt to find new friends (though, ironically, I've made a few friends recently. Noone I can relate to, but people who don't seem put off by my company.) And truly just not caring about forming a social life.

It's been great for my self-esteem, my school life, and my own personal devotions (writing a book/script right now).
But the loneliness is still there.

I honestly have never cared about having friends.

But I miss having someone to hold, to hold in my arms as we lay out under the stars taking in the vast impossibilities of the infinite. It's all very sappy, sure, but moments like that do exist. I want someone to take to the beach at night, to dance where no one is watching and play in the waves, to embrace beneath the moon and to touch to her hand, soft kisses, misty and shy, like little cirrus clouds.
 
Sprunk

Sprunk

Well-known member
I think it bothers me more the older i get.When i was younger i always used to think there's plenty of time to get better,though the older i get the more impatient i get.Then i start to think i may never be over this,which adds to my anxiety.
 
Niteowl

Niteowl

Well-known member
vexatiousmind said:
It's no way to live.
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I completely agree. If it was up to me, it would say that under SocialPhobiaWorld.com instead. I don't want to be coming to this site ten years from now to tell people that I walked out of the store without buying anything because the cashier wished me good morning. I acknowledge that I have social anxiety and that it's not possible to change overnight, but when I joined this site in April I vowed to make it the start of a recovery process. I'm done waiting around, telling myself "I'll do something about it next year", because with that attitude I know I won't do it. I've already begun.
 
Prestonator

Prestonator

Well-known member
James_ said:
I completely agree. If it was up to me, it would say that under SocialPhobiaWorld.com instead. I don't want to be coming to this site ten years from now to tell people that I walked out of the store without buying anything because the cashier wished me good morning. I acknowledge that I have social anxiety and that it's not possible to change overnight, but when I joined this site in April I vowed to make it the start of a recovery process. I'm done waiting around, telling myself "I'll do something about it next year", because with that attitude I know I won't do it. I've already begun.
Click to expand...

Well done for already starting! :) I think that putting off recovering will get you no-where too.
 
corvax

corvax

Member
I suppose if I were able to continue my life as I do now indefinitely (fending off loneliness through online friendships), maybe. I mean, I make it work for the most part.

But on the other hand, I realize that I can't really be 40 or 50 and still be on the internet with almost no friends to speak of in real life. The friends I have now online probably are going to get on with their lives at some point. So, no, I have to change, lest I be miserable later on.
 
E

emmbai1990

Member
Yeh i feel the same it's like even if i have improved a little bit and i'm less quiet i'm still the same in social situations. i'n alright when i get to know someone i can talk easily just it's so hard starting a friendship or a convosation with anyone. I usually stick to social trends like facebook lol i ask for that first and then take it from there, usually works, i have my good friend Kirsty thanks to that :) except i added her on Bebo when it was popular. I just tend to easy myself into it, that's all you can do, take it easy on yourself and set your pace, it's a blessing when someone really does take the time to get to know you when everyone else thinks your weird, since that's how they have all been brainwashed to act by the government, it's like a heard of sheep lol. I guess ill probably be like this always so no use fighting it but it still gets to me.
 
Flyingheart

Flyingheart

Well-known member
I can certainly see your viewpoint of it, but I dunno, I could never just accept it. I think because I remember being "normal" before and ever since then I've fought to return to that way of being. As cheesy as it sounds, I can't imagine living the rest of my life like this.
 
Kat

Kat

Well-known member
At the less extremes I could accept it but at the extremes stages when leaving my bedroom was a challenge I couldn’t live like that. I don’t think having a nervous personality is so bad as long as it’s not debilitating your life.
 
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