MollyBeGood
Well-known member
my motivation is zero. wtf happened.
Post your random thoughts/feelings etc
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Indeed. !@#$%^&*()
A friend
Well-known member
This is a little off-topic, but has anyone noticed that when you want to have a girlfriend/wife, all of the girls ignore you and people try to get you to enjoy being single,
but when you decide that you're fine be single, all the girls flock to you and all of your friends and family try to encourage you to find a lover even though you stress that you want to be single for the rest of your life and you put all your willpower and energy into trying to prove your point?
but when you decide that you're fine be single, all the girls flock to you and all of your friends and family try to encourage you to find a lover even though you stress that you want to be single for the rest of your life and you put all your willpower and energy into trying to prove your point?
My life, in two sentences:
The world of people is heavily catered to the sense of not making any sense.
Ohk then,
have fun.
lostfocus
Member
Please read....
Well im new to this site and wan't to do what i can to not to get bound to it. I believe im agoraphobic im new to all this actually. I have recently just done a prison sentence which was going alright till the end when this feeling came upon me i didn't know what it was but could you imagine being around hundreds of people every sec no break at all while people sit their and taunt your anxiety and don't give you a break no place to go not just one or 2 people taunting you harassing you b/c they can see the anxiety written all over you but almost everybody. no breaks everytime you have an anxiety or panic attack someone was in your face humiliating you till you couldn't breath then would laugh and people could see it on you. Forced to go to work at 4 in the morning after not being able to sleep and having to deal with sleep deprivation and panic attacks, anxiety just total uncomfort no help just humiliation no going off to get a break having to sit their and hold it all in cause if you show one sign of it your over people will be on you, but you can't help it it shows it's uncontrolable you can't breath or look at anyone in the eye walk even at that but you had to pull threw it to know you had to go back to a dorm with people who wanted to make it 10 times worse on you.imagine trying to go back to your bunk for rest or a break o and their is no cells their dorms just a bunch of bunks in one big room no privacy and everytime you laid in your bunk trying to calm down the person on the bunk next to you would copy and imitate everything you do thats something they do in prison to let you know their watching you. Then i was put in a cell butt ass naked by myself cause i said i wanted to kill myself sleeping on nothing but steel getting feed penut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast lunch and dinner while guards came by and taunted and harrased you day and night. Then they put me on a medication that caused me to lose my mind and hallucinate and not know where i was and wan't to die nobody would help nobody would listen i was doomed to die not knowing whether i was going to go to heaven or hell no grip i was going to be insaine forever i would never be able to talk to my family again saine nobody would listen. Nobody. On top of this i hadn't spoken with my family in months months nobody i knew in months.I seriously wanted to die but couldn't kill myself b/c i had nothing to do it with.
Alright now im out and at the moment i can't even leave my room. i feel this feeling inside my body even its a real edgey disturbing feeling around EVERYBODY! even my family this is the most i've focused on something since i've been out> I have NO motivation and no focus scared to do anything outside my house, but im forced to b/c of parole. Today i had to go sit in a small office with about 40 people in it that had all been to prison for 6 hours go threw some classes with these people and they all saw it on me. I couldn't breath i even started hallucinating a little do to the stress that was put on my brain and people sat and stared and began to taunt b/c thats the game that is played in prison. It's not just that office its everywhere the store, facing the gas station clerk, turning on my light to fast. This is all new to me i used to be a highly energetic motivated person liked to have fun and assosiate with people as you can proubly tell by that pic one of the only ones i have lol old but good. now i can't even leave my room. I also believe im dealing with ptsd along with agoraphobia and bi -polar. My parents are doing what they can but they don't understand. I wan't to be able to support myself get a job go to school go to church go and do things with my life,but this is getting in the way.i keep hearing people say face their fear of people well my fear of people started around people and i was around them everyday and it only got worse and the more i go around people the worse it gets. so i don't know what to do
Kameron
much love
Well im new to this site and wan't to do what i can to not to get bound to it. I believe im agoraphobic im new to all this actually. I have recently just done a prison sentence which was going alright till the end when this feeling came upon me i didn't know what it was but could you imagine being around hundreds of people every sec no break at all while people sit their and taunt your anxiety and don't give you a break no place to go not just one or 2 people taunting you harassing you b/c they can see the anxiety written all over you but almost everybody. no breaks everytime you have an anxiety or panic attack someone was in your face humiliating you till you couldn't breath then would laugh and people could see it on you. Forced to go to work at 4 in the morning after not being able to sleep and having to deal with sleep deprivation and panic attacks, anxiety just total uncomfort no help just humiliation no going off to get a break having to sit their and hold it all in cause if you show one sign of it your over people will be on you, but you can't help it it shows it's uncontrolable you can't breath or look at anyone in the eye walk even at that but you had to pull threw it to know you had to go back to a dorm with people who wanted to make it 10 times worse on you.imagine trying to go back to your bunk for rest or a break o and their is no cells their dorms just a bunch of bunks in one big room no privacy and everytime you laid in your bunk trying to calm down the person on the bunk next to you would copy and imitate everything you do thats something they do in prison to let you know their watching you. Then i was put in a cell butt ass naked by myself cause i said i wanted to kill myself sleeping on nothing but steel getting feed penut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast lunch and dinner while guards came by and taunted and harrased you day and night. Then they put me on a medication that caused me to lose my mind and hallucinate and not know where i was and wan't to die nobody would help nobody would listen i was doomed to die not knowing whether i was going to go to heaven or hell no grip i was going to be insaine forever i would never be able to talk to my family again saine nobody would listen. Nobody. On top of this i hadn't spoken with my family in months months nobody i knew in months.I seriously wanted to die but couldn't kill myself b/c i had nothing to do it with.
Alright now im out and at the moment i can't even leave my room. i feel this feeling inside my body even its a real edgey disturbing feeling around EVERYBODY! even my family this is the most i've focused on something since i've been out> I have NO motivation and no focus scared to do anything outside my house, but im forced to b/c of parole. Today i had to go sit in a small office with about 40 people in it that had all been to prison for 6 hours go threw some classes with these people and they all saw it on me. I couldn't breath i even started hallucinating a little do to the stress that was put on my brain and people sat and stared and began to taunt b/c thats the game that is played in prison. It's not just that office its everywhere the store, facing the gas station clerk, turning on my light to fast. This is all new to me i used to be a highly energetic motivated person liked to have fun and assosiate with people as you can proubly tell by that pic one of the only ones i have lol old but good. now i can't even leave my room. I also believe im dealing with ptsd along with agoraphobia and bi -polar. My parents are doing what they can but they don't understand. I wan't to be able to support myself get a job go to school go to church go and do things with my life,but this is getting in the way.i keep hearing people say face their fear of people well my fear of people started around people and i was around them everyday and it only got worse and the more i go around people the worse it gets. so i don't know what to do
Kameron
much love
CosmicNeurotica
Banned
**** happens.
It's hard to deal with it when you are alone. When you know you can be happy and be a part of the joke. Be a part of the conversation.
But it doesn't happen. You see right through it.
This topic is a joke. Someone posts something good, and someone else responds to it because they can relate or have something fun/good to say.
But that's not reality. That's not love.
People have problems. No one wants the negative. They only respond to positive.
If you are negative in this thread, you are doomed. If you are negative in life you are doomed. No one wants a person who is sad, who is depressed.
It's all about love and connectivity.
I'm being completely hypocritical. Happy people connect with happy people, depressed people connect with depressed people. Everyone knows what it's like.. but you can only relate or want to relate when you understand it yourself. When you either feel sincere or try to take advantage.
Life is ****. I'm an idiot.
Have a great day. I'll feel better tomorrow.
It's hard to deal with it when you are alone. When you know you can be happy and be a part of the joke. Be a part of the conversation.
But it doesn't happen. You see right through it.
This topic is a joke. Someone posts something good, and someone else responds to it because they can relate or have something fun/good to say.
But that's not reality. That's not love.
People have problems. No one wants the negative. They only respond to positive.
If you are negative in this thread, you are doomed. If you are negative in life you are doomed. No one wants a person who is sad, who is depressed.
It's all about love and connectivity.
I'm being completely hypocritical. Happy people connect with happy people, depressed people connect with depressed people. Everyone knows what it's like.. but you can only relate or want to relate when you understand it yourself. When you either feel sincere or try to take advantage.
Life is ****. I'm an idiot.
Have a great day. I'll feel better tomorrow.
Thanks for the tip, where can I buy it?
BlueDays
1
Oh, that's just great. I come back online for the first time to notice that most of my friends hadn't even noticed I was gone for half a month.
What observant individuals they are.
I noticed...I just thought vj actually DID kill you in the "Last one to respond..." thread.
Very glad to see you are not dead afterall puma! :
:
caringsoul
Banned
feels good to be ignored. not.
random day, doing random stuff..
wants to take a photo with a dolphin =)
random day, doing random stuff..
wants to take a photo with a dolphin =)
I noticed...I just thought vj actually DID kill you in the "Last one to respond..." thread.
Very glad to see you are not dead afterall puma!)
Dead or not, I can't let you guys win -that- easy, now can I? :
:Mine. I throw random funerals now and then to throw people on their butts.
