A quick suggestion to "shy" people

Entourage!

Entourage!

Member
One thing I've noticed it that too many people have really weird, awkward names. Like: TheLoneWolf53 or DarkAbyss or I'mgoingtodiealone_

By having screen names like that you only further a self-fulfilling prophecy that you're a loner and it becomes part of your identity. If you want that, go for it. But I highly doubt you're satisfied with your social life if you frequent this forum or others like it. Not to mention it's part of victim mentality behavior, which is HIGHLY unattractive.

Change the SN or make a new one. Same goes for E-mail or any other outlet. Personally I ditched my victim mentality a long time ago and it was one of the best things I ever did. You'll feel the same way :)
 
philly2bits

philly2bits

Well-known member
Sometimes people just don't feel like putting much effort into thinking up screen names. They go with what they know or how they feel at the moment of signing up. They don't define themselves by these screen names though.

Although some thought might help or else you end up with a screen name like mine. ::p:
 
Entourage!

Entourage!

Member
philly2bits said:
Sometimes people just don't feel like putting much effort into thinking up screen names. They go with what they know or how they feel at the moment of signing up. They don't define themselves by these screen names though.

Although some thought might help or else you end up with a screen name like mine. ::p:
Click to expand...

I think that's true, picking SN's can be a chore sometimes... lol

I'm saying people should become more aware of their habits and what they subconsciously communicate to other people and to themselves because most communication IS subconscious. :cool:
 
Luke1993

Luke1993

Well-known member
hmm this is an interesting idea...changing the names I mean. But I don't think I've seen anyone with overly negative names?
 
hoddesdon

hoddesdon

Well-known member
The OP is absolutely right. Such perverse names are instances of self-pity, which exacerbates anxiety. So he is also right to talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I prefer DarkAbyss to Entourage! as a username. Better to be named after something with forboeding rather than a group of associates or attendants, or a TV show. Why the exclamaion mark do you need to stab people in the eye, because you think they aren't noticing or listening to you?
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
I think everyone has right to name themselves the way they want.. you (the OP) maybe have a point but let's not judge.. you don't know why they chose it after all, maybe because they have a sense of humour? Also, when you're depressed, you don't feel like any positive crap, that may be another reason.

When I first came, this place seemed to me like some sinister underworld or a cemetery because of the names so I was thinking about some negative nickname too, but it was hard to find something original because they were all taken :D.
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Lea said:
I think everyone has right to name themselves the way they want.. you (the OP) maybe have a point but let's not judge.. you don't know why they chose it after all, maybe because they have a sense of humour? Also, when you're depressed, you don't feel like any positive crap, that may be another reason.

When I first came, this place seemed to me like some sinister underworld or a cemetery because of the names so I was thinking about some negative nickname too, but it was hard to find something original because they were all taken :D.
Click to expand...

Ooo, 'Sinister_Underworld' has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
I chose my SN as it said sth about me, and how i felt about myself (& still do to a fair degree). Sometimes when i post i kind of wish i had a different SN, as might affect how people respond to what i put in that post (eg a more positive SN for an uplifting-type post). Other times my SN couldn't be more perfect for what i want to post. But now that i've been here a while now, and i think may be fairly well recognised, i think that my somewhat-negative SN doesn't affect that much how people repond (or expect to respond) to my posts. And also it mightn't affect how they view/see me now. With the newer users however, well maybe they might be more affected by my SN, and consequently might not "trust" me as much - ie may create a (possibly somewhat negative) "vision" or "judgement" of how they think i am as a "virtual person" (due to the "first impression" of my SN/avatar/sig/etc), and have already formed an opinion of what the contents of my posts will be even before reading a single line of such a post.

At times I have considered changing it (eg to "tsl"), but the problem is i'm kind of "attached" to it now (it's part of my "identity" on here, and others "know" me by this SN). And yes, maybe part of it is my SN name makes me feel "secure with who i am" on here, and so i can be confident about what sorts of things i can post (as i know "who i am" or what my "role" is); which could be another reason why i'm attached to it.

But having a negative-type SN in this forum doesn't necessarily mean you "take on that persona" in everything you do in life - you don't (well i don't). On all of the sites on the web i belong to, i usu have a different SN (eg (not actual) "that_computer_guy", "IWannaLearn", "Prinze", "aBitDifferent", "FredDIY"). It all depends on the context (site).
So, some of my SN's are a bit negative, some are positive, a few are lightly-humourous, and most are just neutral. So in each of those sites i frequent, although i bring with me my current mood & life issues, i tend to focus on the task at hand, and usually am feeling quite good whilst doing so. And maybe my SN does affect my mindset a little when i'm doing my stuff on a site - i dunno. But i know that when i first chose that SN, my mindset at that time had a "say" in it, and also my usual mindsets i have daily, personality, & past experiences. Also a bit of logic (eg if site is about computers, and i know a fair bit about them --> SN = "that_computer_guy")

But i do get what you're saying Entourage!. Having a negative SN (even in just one site, but which you visit regulalry) probably does help to maintain the "victim mentality" one has. You might not feel it affects you consciously (as "used" to it, and is associated with many of your various posts, of which a fair few might be "victim-like", but others are not). But unconsciously it is another matter entirely (the "rules" are different!)
 
Last edited:
leave_me_alone

leave_me_alone

Well-known member
I wonder if my name falls into this category. ::p:

I just hope people wont judge me (or anyone else) solely based on the SN.
 
GoBlue72

GoBlue72

Well-known member
leave_me_alone said:
I wonder if my name falls into this category. ::p:

I just hope people wont judge me (or anyone else) solely based on the SN.
Click to expand...

I will not be responding to you, and leave you be. :) BTW, my aunt had an email with "blackwidow" in it, a few years after my uncle died(her second husband to pass away). Really inspirational.
 
Danfalc

Danfalc

Banned
hoddesdon said:
The OP is absolutely right. Such perverse names are instances of self-pity, which exacerbates anxiety. So he is also right to talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Click to expand...

Perverse? And saying it's self pity..I think that's a bit harsh. I think people should use what ever name they feel comfortable with, but sites like this are probably some of the only places some people can be open about their problems. Why should they have to change their name or be judged for it.

Positive thinking is great, and I can see what the op is getting at, but if someone is determined to get better and make improvements, I doubt having a negative user name will halt their recovery in it's tracks lol... It's not like it's hurting anyone or offensive either.
 
Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
Danfalc said:
Perverse? And saying it's self pity..I think that's a bit harsh. I think people should use what ever name they feel comfortable with, but sites like this are probably some of the only places some people can be open about their problems. Why should they have to change their name or be judged for it.

Positive thinking is great, and I can see what the op is getting at, but if someone is determined to get better and make improvements, I doubt having a negative user name will halt their recovery in it's tracks lol... It's not like it's hurting anyone or offensive either.
Click to expand...

I give this my Chuck Norris thumbs up.

chuck-norris-thumbs-up_display_image.jpg


The OP comes off a bit condescending I know that's not his intent at all we all can I know I do at times; but what's important and what this site can help with is sparking the process for change from the inside out. That's the key; your name doesn't nor should define you. That's the issue Hoddes is trying to get at with creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you had a happy name and felt the same negative way - it just becomes ironic, and doesn't matter what your UN is. I'm sure once people begin to change, their UN won't define them if it was.
 
Last edited:
***deleted***

***deleted***

1
I don't think you can change your name, unless you want to start a whole new account.
Its hard to pick a SN, I think they just wanted a name to pertain to the site they are joining, which in this case is social phobia world.
and I happen to like thelonewolf, it implies one can depend on themselves and survive.
 
Surrogate

Surrogate

Active member
You can name yourself however you wish.
As a counter-argument I could say that this thread alone is counter-productive to helping people who suffer SA from recovering, since you are intentionally pointing out their flaws and reenforcing their thoughts of negativity on themselves (those who have such names in your example)

But really, we are who we want to (or think to) be, and there will be pros and cons for everything you do. So I'd say, just don't worry about it too much. Besides, I like my name "surrogate". Don't you think it adds a level of mystery to my figure? :p
 
leave_me_alone

leave_me_alone

Well-known member
GoBlue72 said:
I will not be responding to you, and leave you be. :) BTW, my aunt had an email with "blackwidow" in it, a few years after my uncle died(her second husband to pass away). Really inspirational.
Click to expand...

OK, now i am really considering creating a new account ::(:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top