Where to look when a girl is walking towards me on a street??

[tooshytosay]

Now this is an age-old one for me.

Say I'm walking along a not-too-busy street, and there is a girl walking towards me in the opposite direction. From the moment I "notice" her I become conscious of her and I literally won't know where to put my eyes.

I become super-conscious of my gaze and try to deliberately look away to the side or something. But then again that's a hard act to pull when the side of the street might look "really, really boring". Sometimes I might try to stare at the ground and pretend to be "lost in thought", but that's kind of ironic because well, I'm actually thinking about her the whole time.

Whether the girl is attractive or not does not matter; in fact often I don't even know whether they are attractive because I've looked away so quickly.

Anyone have any tips on "how to walk past a girl"?

 

[Confuseddd]

i know how ya feel man. Honestly? i cant help you with this one. you will have to do what all of us here have to do. that is you must become comfortable with yourself and your flaws. what were you thinking / doing before you saw her? i understand it is hard but trust me after you accept yourself it will be much , much easier. you will just not care so much where your eyes are because you will start to realize that it doesnt matter to her at all ( not in a you dont matter kind of way) i think that you become anxious and are just afraid she will notice your anxiety. the vicious circle as it is referred to

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Sunglasses.

 

[kihira]

Pretend you're texting or whatever. That's what I do with scary criminal types outside the law courts

 

[Kiwong]

I cross the street. I look away.

When I'm running I put the pedal down to a sub 4 minute km. I can't get away quick enough.

 

[Social_Monstrosity]

I wish I could tell you where to look but I have the same exact issue.

Not just with girls either.

 

[takethislife]

just stare at her she'll look away really.

 

[SilentStranger]

just stare at her she'll look away really.

If you must do that at least take this advice.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You can't stare at it long, it's too risky. You get a sense of it then you look away.

Actually I got no advice... I got the same problem too. Its worse for me. If I am moving sometimes I feel like I lose my coordination of the movement of my legs/hands etc.

 

[DanFC]

I have this problem too, and I usually end up looking dead-straight ahead. But then I think it just looks like I'm tweaking or something XD

 

[Kinetik]

I always have a quick look at oncoming people and I do briefly scan crowds etc - it's just a habit of mine. I do often shoot women quick glances as well, especially if they're attractive. The only time I find it somewhat awkward is if we make eye contact. It's like I want to look but not get caught. Though I do find that if someone looks pleasant or smiles, then it completely takes away my bad feelings regarding the situation - then I have to remind myself to crack a quick smile in return as I hate looking sullen (which, sadly, is my default look :.

 

[BlackPuma]

I try tunnel-visioning myself out of it. I also have it with some guys, though. >,> Just concentrate on something in the distance and keep your focus on it. It's not a perfect method, but it works for me.

 

[Acegame]

I also have this problem, but not only with girls. Usually i look away till im very close and then i give a glance at the person. That way you are not staring and not ignoring. But for me its so hard to smile, because of my anxiety. Im affraid the huge tension in my face makes it look creapy or very insecure ::. But i think the only solution is to train ourselfs. Walking through streets where allot of people are and just look people in the eye and try to smile. I think eventually it will get better. Avoidig may feel as a relief but certainly isnt the solution.

 

[hippiechild]

most people give the person a look while far-ish away, 20 feet or so, check for acknowledgment, then shift back to staring ahead, off into the distance.
Then, if they received positive messages of acknowledgment, they give a quick glance sideways just as they pass each other, to check for any alterations of body language and more importantly, in an attempt to catch the other one in the act of glancing (checking for the other's interest, while also exposing their own)
If they hadn't received acknowledgment, they'll just keep gazing off into the distance.

 

[DanFC]

most people give the person a look, check for acknowledgment, then shift back to staring ahead, off into the distance... then, if they received positive messages of acknowledgment, they give a quick glance sideways just as they pass each other, to check for any alterations of body language and more importantly, in an attempt to catch the other one in the act of glancing (checking for the other's interest, while also exposing their own)

The only time I've experienced anything like that is with other guys, and not in an "interesting" sense XD More like mini-staring contests that extend even to after we've passed each other by looking back.

 

[hippiechild]

Not at each other, but past and over each other, towards their invisible goal rather than further acknowledgment of the other... it seems to be the default position for avoiding interaction without looking nervous or awkward (looking about at trees, feet, fussing with keys)

 

[UnOccupied]

Wow, great topic. I have the same problem. I am in college, so i deal with these at least 4 times a day, while walking to class. It is truly the only sure reminder i have of my SA. I like what confused said about accepting yourself, this is good advice. It is true, as you accept yourself, you begin to realize it just doesn't matter what the other person thinks, and 9 times out of 10, they're not staring and judging you anyway. Its just not a big deal. Also, your anxiety and fear in these situations is NOWHERE near as apparent to others as it is to you.

 

[Danfalc]

Anyone have any tips on "how to walk past a girl"?

Try to not notice her,she's just another person just like you going about there business.I still feel a little anxious walking past people but I try and keep my head up..and I have kind of learnt to look through people if that makes sense?

Like I won't start trying to lock eye contact,but I won't avert my eyes either as I'm walking past.I find as soon as you start looking at the floor or dodging eye contact it just inflames anxiety.Just experiment when your out..see what increases your anxiety and what you feel comfortable with.

I don't think there is any wrong or right way to walk past someone,so try and remember that

 

[Danfalc]

The only time I've experienced anything like that is with other guys, and not in an "interesting" sense XD More like mini-staring contests that extend even to after we've passed each other by looking back.

Yeah I think this male macho crap is universal...I still get guy's trying to stare me down,then ask me "what you staring at"

 

[Acegame]

Yeah I think this male macho crap is universal...I still get guy's trying to stare me down,then ask me "what you staring at"

Haha i always wonder how they know you are staring ::

 

[lunaticbinge]

I usually just look straight forward, not acknowledging at all. It comes off as odd because in my yuppie city everyone says hi when passing each other. Every once in awhile when I'm feeling brave, I'll manage a glance and even a hello or a smile when we get close. Feels really phony though. :\