one comment which has affected your confidence

[Brightinfinity]

Anything my mom said when she was mad. It's hard to remember specific comments; they kind of blend together in a fog of "You messed up" and "You make me sick". I try and forget/distract myself too. Remembering isn't going to do anything besides making me sad.
It's difficult to believe you're a good person when your parents tell you you're horrible, y'know?

This one girl once said that she would sometimes see me across the room and think that I was pretty, and I really didn't believe her. I still don't. ::

Oh, and little kids ask about my acne as if I wasn't self-conscious about it anyway. And a lot of people ask why my hands sweat (I have hyperhidrosis). I know they don't mean anything by it and are just curious though, so it doesn't affect my confidence that much.

 

[Zaona]

.................

 

[Lost Girl]

There isn't a doubt in my mind that my dad is the main cause for my low self-esteem and even SA. I was constantly name-called by my him. I was always working for him and constantly by his side waiting for his next command.
I was called a " f****** idiot", "good-for-nothing", "waste-of-space", "dreamer", "sneak", "s***head" etc etc...as I got older "b****" and "s***" got thrown into the mix as well. The names never stopped.
He also constantly threatened that he would take me to an orphanage. I always secretly wished that he would.


Thinking over my crappy upbringing...I gotta say.... I turned out pretty well.
I love to laugh, I'm a positive, caring, and loving person. I never had an influence that was like that, so Idk, I guess I'm happy and maybe even sort of proud with the person I turned out to be. Hmm..

 

[bigrob]

If I could pick two moments....

back in the mid 80s...maybe 84 or so...computers were pretty new and the school got 4 of them. Each teacher got to pick 4 students to do learn computers for an hour a day. I wanted to go soooo bad but I wasn't picked. I voiced my displeasure and was told I was to be in the second wave but since I complained I wouldn't go. Thus I learned to shut my mouth.


another was a few years later. I just started Junior High and there were new kids from other schools that I didn't know. One was a pretty girl that kept looking at me. Well I mention to another boy that I thought she liked me...he told her...she proceeded to lay a verbal smackdown on me in front of the whole class about how ugly she thought I was. Thus I learned a girl looking smiling at you doesn't mean your good looking, maybe just funny looking.

 

[Bama_Heath]

I hate whenever people tell me to "grow up". If they catch me during an emotionally weak period it will shake my confidence. On the other hand if I feel headstrong when the comment is made I will be more like '*bleep* off....what is wrong with being young at heart?'. Either way it's a hot button comment.

 

[Fighter86]

For me, its less what people said to me, but rather, how they acted towards or against me.

 

[bigrob]

I have to add another.

My mother really destroyed my confidence. Every kid wants their parents to be proud of them. I did too. But for some reason my mother was always bitter and has just grown even more so as she's aged. Nothing was ever good enough. Period.

I played little league...she never went to a game.

I did well on the High School wrestling team? So what.

I practiced guitar for entire nights and got really good...I wanted to be a rock star...I asked if she saw me on a magazine cover if she's be proud...she said she'd be ashamed.

Nothing, no matter what, makes her happy. I could be Bill Gates and she'd complain about my glasses!!

So she was really damaging.

Add to that teachers noticed I was different when I was in forth grade...so about 10-11. I remember the parent/teacher conference where the teachers were concerned about my daydreaming and unstable emotions. How did my mother help me? I saw a preacher once. (you want to have real fun?try being 10-11 and trying to explain the theory of alternate universes and string theory to a preacher.)

So not only did she damage me, she did nothing to fix me.

 

[2+2=5]

"You're so thick, you have the writing skills of a 5 years old" - My mum, when I was 19 and helping my brother write an essay for school. (while she was drinking vodka by the bottle instead of helping him herself ).

"Why don't you make yourself look pretty like the other girls? Put some make up on, your acne is so bad we can spot you from miles away" - My mum's ex boyfriend

 

[mummylala]

I have to add another.

My mother really destroyed my confidence. Every kid wants their parents to be proud of them. I did too. But for some reason my mother was always bitter and has just grown even more so as she's aged. Nothing was ever good enough. Period.

I soooooo understand where you are coming from, my mum was never happy with anything i ever did, never ever said she was proud of me or ever said that she loved me..(as ive said before on this thread she told me that i was a mistake)

I think what makes it worse is that she was the exact opposite with my younger brother, she still makes my life a misery at the moment but one day im hoping karma will give her a kick up the backside lol

 

[xxaimsxx]

I was at school and i had an argument with this girl who was a complete monster. She would be all weired one second being nice and then bitching about me. My 'friend' after it came to talk to me and didnt support me. Just looked at me all weired and said maybe you should think of changing?
And thats what scares me the most. I dont know how to be! Ive been accused in the past for being 'fake' so if i change thats what i'll be!

Yeah that comment haunts me. Some others too but i choose that one because its basically saying to someone, change your character because your no good and noone likes you!

Charming! lol.

 

[xxaimsxx]

"You're so thick, you have the writing skills of a 5 years old" - My mum, when I was 19 and helping my brother write an essay for school. (while she was drinking vodka by the bottle instead of helping him herself ).

"Why don't you make yourself look pretty like the other girls? Put some make up on, your acne is so bad we can spot you from miles away" - My mum's ex boyfriend

Thats horrible. Excuse me but what idiots they were to say that to you. No right.

 

[faz]

"u dont have wat it takes"

 

[HeavyRain]

In 4th grade, when gluing pictures to a piece of paper, there was a substitute and she came by my side and picked up my paper without a word and showed it to the class and said, "Everyone, glue it properly, not as bad as this one", she then gave it back to me without a word and walked away. I've made sure my work was neat ever since.

 

[Shy_Gurl2007]

People always thought I was gay because I didn't talk. That makes no sense at all! What does quietness have to do with someone's sexuality? I was also called mute. Based on my looks, I was called "the ugly stick" in high school. How stupid does that sound? My one "friend" said that his whole class came up with that name for me. Sigh, I hated high school. I remember in 8th grade, I went to a skating rink for the first time with a friend. When I go onto the rink, I was trying to really keep my balance lol. I was already anxious about being in front of all these people skating, but this ******* came up to me and said, "You really suck at skating." I remember crying so hard. I have too many to count really lol.

 

[EscapeArtist]

There was this girl who was really stunning, all the guys in the school drooled over her, and one day when I passed her she said "You know, you have a really natural beauty". It was sweet. I didn't know what to say though, and I said something stupid in front of a crowd. Awkward...But sweet.

Also when this beautiful girl I had been wanting to meet said I was cute and gave me her number. I've never been close to having a relationship (as I don't want one) so that's the only number I've ever received, and it meant a lot.....

 

[WorldEndsWithMe]

Wasn't one comment exactly... but I got called ugly a lot in jr.high and high school. I got called fat too, which is weird because I weigh like 116 pounds at 5'9. =/ Still bothered me though.
So even today, when people compliment my appearance, I'm very supicious of it. Sometimes I even get more depressed, because I feel they're just trying to be pleasent, but aren't actually sincere! Oh the crazy tricks your mind can play...
I still always feel like I'm the "ugly" friend, since all my female friends are really pretty.

 

[lunarla]

Wasn't one comment exactly... but I got called ugly a lot in jr.high and high school. I got called fat too, which is weird because I weigh like 116 pounds at 5'9. =/ Still bothered me though.
So even today, when people compliment my appearance, I'm very supicious of it. Sometimes I even get more depressed, because I feel they're just trying to be pleasent, but aren't actually sincere! Oh the crazy tricks your mind can play...
I still always feel like I'm the "ugly" friend, since all my female friends are really pretty.

I know exactlylylyly what you mean! It seems my friends are leagues ahead of me and I don't even know why I have friends most of the time.

This seems kinda related.. and it was probably just me being lame and twisting things around in my mind. But a while back my friend online said something like, "I know you must be good (not the word he used, but I don't know) because of who you hang out with." I don't know, it just messed with me a bit, lol. Because I'm obviously not up to par with my friends blah blah blah. Anyway! I'm done.

 

[nopark]

It's really silly. But when I was about 13 or 14, my parents would spend Saturdays just puttering around town. Going to flea markets or sitting by the lake or whatever. I remember this one time I asked them to bring me back an Iced Cappuccino from the coffee shop (I loved coffee even when I was younger lol).

When they finally returned, they didn't have my drink. I wasn't really disappointed, but I just asked "Why?" and my mom said something like "You don't deserve it" or something like that. She was completely joking, but I remember I felt so horrible. Like I was mooching off of them, asking them to do stuff for me and buy me things and I wasn't contributing anything. It felt like a rejection.

So ever since then I hardly ever asked them for anything, and I always felt guilty when I did. I was still reliant on them for things like clothes or school stuff for a while. But as soon as I had a job when I was 15 or 16 I stopped taking stuff from them, and I never asked them for help.

To this day I have a real problem asking for help for things I think I should be able to do on my own. It makes me feel weak or something I guess. I dunno.

 

[Silentknight]

"you smell get away from me" my mom
I was six it stayed with me.

 

[anxiousnut]

I was eating pizza with my best friend in the fourth grade, i was only about 10 or 11 years old and we were sitting on the stoop of the old country store nonchalantly. This boy, who must have been 15 (I am a girl), said, "Oh, my God, why are you sooo ugly?!?" And this other girl, who i knew, said, "Shut up, that is so mean!" And the boy replied, "It's true, she's ugly..."

Yeah, needless to say, that was pretty damn hurtful.