Escape's Journal.

High school. My, my. What an extraordinary place to meet immaturity. Never liked the place. Usually kept shut.

There were a few good. The rest, minds of an ant. All victims to their distractions. Distractions from unimportance. From parties of last night. Dreadful, there I sat pretending to write, hearing it all. Not wishing one bit to be them.

It can be tough. Fight through it. In the end, finished, victorious.

It should rain.
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
hey i know what you mean, EscapeArtist, about soo many things. Wanting the simple life, hating the city, needing a home gotta get a job first so you can get out etc...
I used to have reoccurring dreams about not graduating H.S. though i did, I didn't go to graduation it was weird me and my BF at the time got our diplomas handed to us at some office.
I was so truant I can't believe I graduated, like my dreams were about not having enough credits and I had to go back kinda thing.
I'd say if you can get a GED online go for it. Get a job, save some money, try for the life you want. You sound like you know what you want.
 
I love this concept. I hope more people take on personal journals threads. :3

In fact, when I first came here I thought that was what the personal stories tab was for. x3
 

arsenalwa

Well-known member
Is there anybody else out there who denies themselves the right the sleep when tired?
I am exhausted, but never let myself sleep until I pass out out of severe fatigue. Usually around 4-5 am. I have a fear of sleeping because, lately, I realize I do not waking up to a new day in my life, because of loneliness. (despite that, I do have good days very often lately).

It's a real pain the ass. I just want a good night's rest... Internal war.

Exactly. I could have wrote that.

This whole journals thing is kinda cool. Though I don't think I'd ever make one. I'm too boring and I think all my days are so much the same that I'd struggle to find anything new to say most of the time.
 
"Easy day" off. I do this, now I can call it a name

Lawns are a waste of time, space and water. We have a vegie patch in our front yard - back yard too (with a bit of unkempt lawn). A house nearby had a native garden as their front yard, it was gorgeous, the house sold and the new owners ripped it all out

Homework - any schoolwork is to show the teacher that you understand the topic. There is no need to do more than that. The way to approach homework is to do the work up to a point and hand it in, wait for the teacher's feedback and then do more on it if required. That way you only ever do just enough.
 

Feathers

Well-known member
WOW!! :D EscapeArtist, I really like reading your long posts too!! :)

I can soo relate, though in a slightly different way...

I probably wrote you to go to AlAnon/relatives of people with dependency problems for your mom's sake (I wish we had something like that here too, locally..)

My mum likes plum dumplings, I sorta liked them too, but there's potato and gluten in them... I think I overdosed on gluten and milk today too..

I love it how passionate you are about bringing science and inspiration (& eco ways!) to people!!

I really admire your plan to heal too!!

Believe me, my dad seems to take any time I get better as an opportunity to 'knock me down a notch' too.. I spent a lot of time at the Uni reading books on self-development and communication etc and got really better, and just being at home... ugh..
He doesn't want to hear any 'talking back', he doesn't like to be criticised or hear me give criticism of anything or anyone, he only likes to give criticism of me!! grr!!

and my mom, while she can be sometimes supportive, just can't seem to find any good in me either.. and right now they read of an article of the dangers of 'Facebook' and dad thinks 'Facebook' is to blame for 'how bad I've gotten' (respect-wise to them, etc!) grr!! (I'm not even much on FB at all!!) Then, it's the forums - I think they're jealous of the forums or what? grr!!

sorry for the rant, I think I need my own thread lol..

((hugs)) and thank you for existing!! :D
 

Feathers

Well-known member
Oh gosh, it's so fascinating to hear about your food-related adventures!!

I still keep sometimes eating stupid stuff too, like sweet things - and I *know* they make me feel crappy too! /sigh/

You're lucky to know your Mom has this intolerance too, I was wondering if mine might have it too.. she's soo cranky so much of the time.. it's annoying.. (and she's had an iron anemia that didn't really react to iron supplements as a kid already, I read it could be a sign of celiac...)

still haven't dared to get an appointment for the celiac, sigh..

wishing you good luck tomorrow and with the school!!

/I drank some caffeine yesterday and might have had a 'detox' today too, complete with headache?? I usually stay away from coffee..-??/
 

Feathers

Well-known member
WOW, EscapeArtist, you were really BRAVE and I admire you sooo much!!! Seriously, you sound much older and more mature than your age...

At 17, what were you supposed to have accomplished? Found a cure for cancer, a way to save the world? Wait, you've already discovered some very neat things people 2x or 4x your age still don't know or won't admit... You're still discovering awesome and wonderful things and people..

Sorry to hear talking to the backpacker guy proved disappointing.. That's kinda what I felt like talking to my cousin, a bit.. He was into yoga and spiritual things and at 17 or so, I thought he had 'all the answers'.. and was actually really impatient with him for not telling me!! :)
After a divorce and a kid later (both his, not mine), he now seems to ask me for opinions and plans and guidance in some matters (although I'm quite a bit clueless myself :)) he he..

So maybe actually *you* can give guidance to some of the people there too.. and it's not just expecting 'sudden revelations' from others.. actually everyone has own path to go.. others can give reports and experience, it's still ours to walk..

Soo.. give yourself credit, take a pat on the back (even if imaginary :D) and have a nap and then go to another meeting, then another.. (Check if you ate or drank any iffy stuff there too..?) You keep inspiring me!! (I wonder if we have anything like that here.. hmm?)
 

Feathers

Well-known member
WOW, you've been busy!!

Where do you find these groups and meet-ups? On FB? (Maybe PM, not sure if it's wise to have it out there..)

WOW, a decluttering frenzy fun too? :)

I really like decluttering or organizing things sometimes too.. Can't seem to get in the mood for one.. I hope you're donating the clothes etc to charity, or younger cousins? (Or for arts'n'crafts projects? I wish we had such a group too..)
Sorry, I am a packrat too.. drives my family crazy, somewhat, sometimes.. (They were the ones who started it though.. 3rd generation of hoarders lol.. Now Granny and mum are more 'throw-it-away' then I am though.. Since I learnt about 'zero waste' concept and more about recycling in our country, I feel really guilty to make trash..) I keep thinking, 'Ooh, I'll make an arts project out of this' or something??

I hate carpeted rooms too.. Unfortunately when I was like 12 they were all the rage and my then-best-friend sorta had it so I had to have it too.. I think it's not very healthy but hey.. Sometimes wondering whether putting new floor on top would be a good idea, or just move away and let it all be?

Are you sleeping in a garage now then?

Haven't exercised 2+ weeks too I guess.. With some walking inbetween, but not every day.. I want to start it again..

What kind of food do you eat on raw days? Just fruit or veggies too?

About people with "all the answers" - I don't look for that anymore.. I find lots of people have lots of answers and we are all actually creating meaning together.. Kinda like 'Jigsaw TV'.. :) We are telling each other bits and pieces of truth and important things and can create wonderful things together.. I really liked the book 'Celestine Prophecy' though it's a bit corny perhaps, but was really interesting - said some people like 'have a message' for you.. There are many people and many messages though..
I get so amazed sometimes with what other people know, little or big things.. somehow it fits together then... :)

I did used to get hugely disappointed in people (and myself) am trying to learn to accept us all too... :)
 
Last edited:

Kiwong

Well-known member
Hi Escape Artist, hope you do get to do a trail run.

Below is a short video of the Coastal Classic trail race I did, and the race website with some great photos.

Pic and Vids

Coastal Classic :: News

I found all the trail runners to be really positive, and inspiring. There was one other runner who I did the race with that I know suffers from depression, and I suspect there many more who are brought to running to face mental illness. This running adventures was a dream come, and inspired me and made me feel good about myself, despite my anxiety. Hardest thing I have ever, my quads were so sore for 3 days that I could barely walk.
 
Last edited:
Top