Does your anxiety make you feel years younger than your actual age?

My anxiety has cut so much 'normal living experience' out of my life that - in my mind - I feel at least 15 years younger than I actually am.

I am wondering does someone feeling much younger than they actually are, depend on the severity of their anxiety?

Does someone who has 'mild' anxiety and can still hold down a job/has a few friends etc, not feel much younger than their age?

Does someone who's anxiety is 'severe' and rarely leaves their house, always feel younger than their age?

Is it possible for someone with 'severe' anxiety to still feel right for their actual age?

Yes my mental issues have robbed me from growth. Mental growth is what counts the most and when you cannot interact with the world around you, then the necessary knowledge needed will be lost or at least delayed. Physically I may be over 30 but mentally I am 12 at least.

Interesting question. I think there are various factors that would make a person feel younger than their age. The first is your appearance. I'm 34 but I think I look mid twenties. It's hard to feel mature when you look like a child. But you can change your dress to an extent to compensate for this.
The other factors are mental. I'd say my anxiety is mild, but I still generally feel mentally younger than my age. Mainly because I lack the same social confidence that men my age possess. But I also lack many of the status symbols, such as a wife and kids, my own house, a car, a proper job. I've never had a girlfriend and don't have many friends either. I live with my dad, I don't drive. So these things make me feel younger.
But in some ways I also feel older than my age. I've probably spent more time than most thinking about the big questions in life, about meaning and God, and I think I have some quite conservative views about things too. I think I save more and am probably more self disciplined than most men my age.

But generally, I'd say, the more severe your social anxiety, the more likely it'd be that you'd feel younger than your age.

My anxiety makes me seem exhausted and ancient. Physically I am not doing too bad for my age.

I guess it has. But i think i've felt it mostly due to people treating me as much younger than i am (& believing me to be), due to my SA, body language (fearful) & young-looking body. It has sucked, to put it mildly, as it makes you feel like a pathetic freak, & inferior to everybody else (who are smug-as-f*ck with looking their age). It's one of the things that has damaged me the most, & stopped me from growing.

Has medication been shown to help? I used to take medication but it didn't make me feel older mentally.

Hot_Tamale said:

Has medication been shown to help? I used to take medication but it didn't make me feel older mentally.

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You gotta use the "older" medication

I feel younger in that some things I think I should have figured out ages ago, I'm still struggling with. On the other hand, when I'm actually around people who are considerably younger than myself, I can totally see where I've matured and no longer display the same type of behavior as them and my priorities are different. So, some days I feel younger but other days I feel like I'm probably right where I belong as far as maturity.

Yes, my SA seriously makes me feel like I have stopped mentally growing from my 21 year old self.... and I'm 30 now.

I especially feel it when I'm at work or at parties. And it kinda shows on my look because people often mistaken me to be younger than my age. In some way my look becomes my protection. Because I look young, I can kinda get away with my timid behaviour. But then it's a shame when people learn my real age and realize that I'm not really acting like a confident and mature 30 year old.

When my co-workers have learned that I'm pregnant, there were mix reactions. Some were genuinely happy for me and some were shocked because they thought I was an 18 year old girl who got impregnated by a boyfriend. They were more surprised when coworkers who knew me have corrected them that I am an adult who has a husband. However, I still couldnt avoid the judging eyes of some elderly clients who think I'm way too young for pregnancy or marriage.

During parties or gatherings with my husband's friends and their wives, I feel so awkward and out of place with the wives. I only have one wife-friend there who knows my social awkwardness and I feel a bit shame that I always have to stick with her just to be a bit comfortable. I feel like she's my guardian or babysitter and funny thing is she's 2 years younger than me. Sometimes I'll try to 'uncling' to my friend and I feel more pathetic sitting in a corner by myself.... or just silently listening to other wives tell their stories. The worse thing is sometimes the wives will ask me questions (they seems nice btw) and I answer them but I randomly blush because of the attention (which makes me feel more awkward).

It's either her or my husband whom I have to cling to in parties and I try to avoid gettiny clingy to my husband because men are normally in seperate tables with other husbands.

I also hate the 'goodbye' part because I feel so awkward with the gestures. I'm so effin shy to get someone's attention to bid goodbye or thank the party host while I see other wives embracing each other and do cheek to cheek. If I can I just want to run away quickly and go home.

It's much easier to just stay home but I have to put myself in this social torture for my future kid.

Some very interesting and varying replies. Thank you!

I can’t believe I came across this post. I was trying to explain this to my counselor recently. How do you explain you feel years, maybe even 25 years, younger than my age? Also how do you make up for that? How do you either learn to live with SA or learn to overcome it when you are so out of place age wise? It does and did cut “normal living experience” out of my life. I am grateful to hear I am not the only one.

Yes... and I personally feel it is both a blessing and a curse for me. I don't mean to sound self-absorbed but looking younger than my age actually makes me a lot of people feel that they're entitled to treat me as if I'm a child. I actually wished I was more average looking. Being physically attractive doesn't necessarily benefit me. To me, It's more of a distraction. But hey, maybe that'll change someday when I'm 70 years old and hopefully people will soon stop giving me praise for my looks alone.

My anxiety makes me angry and at the peak i start crying.

Every time I look at someone my own actual age, they always seem to be older than I feel and are definitely more mature. Around people younger than me I don't feel much older and still almost believe I havent grown since 1995 or something.
The majority of the time I feel like I dont know what Im doing and everyone is passing me by at an alarming rate. I'm 48 but I am totally not any kind of adult. Mostly because, like you said, I havent experienced a lot of things most people do in the course (curse) of a normal life. No marriage, number of friends dwindling, no career choice, etc.
When asked in my late teens/early 20's what I'd be doing or what I'd be like at my age now I always said I dont know but one thing I'm sure of is I won't lose my youthfulness, playfulness, whatever. Is it possible my subconscious already knew what I didnt about the anxiety? Almost like a premonition of sorts.

I didn't expect to find a post like this which is exactly what I'm feeling and drives me to being depressed sometimes. I look younger, and sometimes I think my mentality is about the age I look like. I don't know if this is caused by anxiety actually, I lean for lack of experiences and spirit. People younger than me tend to feel older, act like adults compared with me, and sometimes it's because their spirit. So right now I feel like I'm in an urge to mature and can't figure out how I ended up like this. I think there are a lot of reasons, still I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way. I share many thoughts that have been posted.

Do you feel depressed about this? How do you cope with this?

Yes, I definitely feel younger than I actually am!
Like some other people, I look younger (on numerous occasions, people have thought I looked a decade or so less than my age). I am shocked that my anxiety hasn't aged me due to the stress it causes.
I am currently on the brink of a meltdown, or everything could be great, and the main issue is that I feel like I am almost an adult, but not really. I have 2 part-time jobs, and, while I have applied for numerous full-time jobs, but have not gotten one yet, despite the fact that I get lots of compliments on how well I do my job, and that people seem kind of impressed by my abilities. So, things are going wrong at my house--a few things need to be fixed (probably not a big deal), and now the basement flooded (I am in the process of cleaning it up). I do not own the house, but plan on buying it someday. Other than paying for utilities, I haven't made a contribution to it. I am really freaking out about telling my landlords (ex-husband's grandparents), and I know that, if I were the actual owner of the house, while I would be stressed about these situations, cutting out the middle-man would relieve some of my anxiety toward house repairs.
Basically, if I get a full-time job (hopefully within the next two years--there will be job openings), and can take care of myself, I'll feel A TON better. However, in the meantime, I feel childish, and out of control, because I have some responsibility, but must always defer to someone else. I hate it.

I feel younger because my anxiety interferes with various aspects of my life. I don't have a career. I'm currently not married nor do I have children. Compared to most my age, I feel like I'm behind for my age. Until I've achieved at least some of these things, then I won't feel as mature as I think I should be.

As far as mentally, nope. I feel like my values, opinions and interests are different to those in or around my age group. Some have even called me "old" for my age whenever we converse. I even get on better with older people.

The severity of my anxiety has prevented me from having certain experiences. I don't party nor do I desire to. I rarely go anywhere, so that feels like I'm limited in many ways. Having anxiety can hinder social development. I feel there are social and life skills I should have but don't because I've been too afraid to try them or struggle to understand them.

So, based on my own experiences and observations, it's totally possible to feel like you're behind your peers depending on how severe your anxiety is.

I'd imagine that there are individuals who have reached certain goals in life and still feel like they don't have it all together. That may be the same as feeling that they are "younger than they actually are." I know people who've actually lived up to those standards and look at me like I'm not quite an adult.

According to people like my therapist, everyone reaches their goals in their own time. Even if it appears that we are behind, we'll get there in our own time.

I wonder if that happens past a certain age, because all it does for me is make me increasingly aware of my current age, and how little I've managed to do in comparison to others.

What I feel is a general sobering crushing realization. Neither old nor young, just incomplete.

BlueDays said:

My anxiety has cut so much 'normal living experience' out of my life that - in my mind - I feel at least 15 years younger than I actually am.

I am wondering does someone feeling much younger than they actually are, depend on the severity of their anxiety?

Does someone who has 'mild' anxiety and can still hold down a job/has a few friends etc, not feel much younger than their age?

Does someone who's anxiety is 'severe' and rarely leaves their house, always feel younger than their age?

Is it possible for someone with 'severe' anxiety to still feel right for their actual age?

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I should say that maybe in a way that the challenges you encounter with anxiety, can attack mostly a younger people. However, physically and mentally I don't think so. It could even affect an individual's health negatively.

I'm seeing many things here that go hand-in-hand with social anxiety... and yes, it does often lead to avoidance which can indeed cause one to "lag behind" and even miss out on certain "milestones," etc. This is often true. However.

I speak to no one in particular but as a reminder for those who wonder "am I affected by something else in addition to social anxiety?" A general inability to manage one's own life is probably not something you would see in someone who has "just" social anxiety. It could be possible (I'm not an expert) but my personal experience has led me to become biased in a certain way, on this issue. In these cases I often suspect any given individual has something else going on.

Problems with things like multitasking, planning, organizing.. a tendency for rigidity as well as impulsivity.. are unlikely to be a result of social anxiety alone, even if there may be an influence (anxiety over a longterm will damage one's executive ability.)

I personally suspect what you would see in a person who "just has" social anxiety would look like a person who is shy past the accepted age (which still has many challenges); while someone with social anxiety who has significant trouble with age-appropriate functioning, is someone who may have a developmental disorder, like Asperger's or ADD.

It's the case for me, anyhow. I don't mean to diagnose anyone else; nor do I mean to excuse my utter-wreck-of-a-life with a convenient label as the entire cause, to shift the responsibility away. But it's been clear for a long time I am simply "wired" differently and not even able to prioritize the things that "mature adults" take for granted, among many other traits that do not fit the SA description alone.