I have thought of this a few times, but everytime I do my mind gets pulled in many directions about different parts of it. So hard to explain and I won't try because I will end up writing a novel here.
Physically, I feel I look my age (39), but have been told I look younger, like middle to late 20's. When I walked into work once with a friend who was 5 years older, my co-workers assumed she was my mother. I could not decide if that was based on looks, or because this so called friend treated me more like she was my mother than my friend. She looked her age. It happened everywhere we went.
Socially, I am a mess and do feel not as mature as I should be. I try to be a confident, mature decision maker, but it always seems hard for me to actually pull that off. My social anxiety holds me back from doing and saying so many things. I feel like I can't move forward because of it. And yet all I want to do is move forward. When I try and push my anxiety out of the way, I usually get a panic attack and pass out. So I feel like there is nothing I can do about advancing my social age. And that just makes me depressed.
Someone mentioned they have an easier time getting along with older people rather than people of their own age group, and I have to say I feel the same way. Maybe because there is not so much judgement? Or maybe just same interests? I am probably older in that area. I like to go to a bbq or get together, but not a party. I like to go for walks, casual shopping etc. Nothing crazy. I like my life laid back. I guess I am no fun. Most people my age are either starting their families, have young children, or are party animals. I am married, but my sin from a previous relationship is 19. I can't seem to find people I fit in with.
So physically I feel I look my age (inside I feel so old), socially feel younger, mentally feel older and emotionally all over the map.
