Do you feel like you weren't meant for this world?

TailsAlone

Well-known member
I do. At first it was the only thing I could say for sure. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I'm undiagnosed and fear the idea of going to a therapist, as it would just confirm to everyone I know that something's wrong...but I'm 99% sure I've got AvPD. I found the definition online somehow and it was like reading the story of my life.

When people push me away or criticize me, it's like a dagger in my heart and it ruins my day. I'm afraid to disagree with anyone. I nod or flash a fake nervous smile instead of saying hello. When I have to speak, it's often hesitant and forced. I hate introducing myself to people and wouldn't dream of asking out a girl. I don't try to make friends, don't hang out with anybody and my one serious relationship was over two years ago. I resent the people around me for being able to communicate so much better--and at the same time, squandering that gift by saying so little that is relevant or meaningful. I escape the pain of my life with books, movies, games and fantasies. If I could I would stay at home 23 hours a day talking to myself and buying stuff with my debit card.

Nobody ever seemed to understand. There is almost nothing more annoying than when an attractive, popular person says condescending stuff to me like “everyone is beautiful inside,” “you can do anything if you try,” “just do it, don’t be shy.” You can tell right away that these people don’t get it. Don’t be shy? That’s the best they can do? As if I haven’t spent my whole life telling myself that. As if I knew of any other way to be.

Until last week, I thought I was all alone with these problems, and still don't feel like I really belong anywhere. But now I know there are some people just like me.

Thanks for being here.
 
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A friend

Well-known member
I do. At first it was the only thing I could say for sure. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I'm undiagnosed and fear the idea of going to a therapist, as it would just confirm to everyone I know that something's wrong...but I'm 99% sure I've got AvPD. I found the definition online somehow and it was like reading the story of my life.

When people push me away or criticize me, it's like a dagger in my heart and it ruins my day. I'm afraid to disagree with anyone. I nod or flash a fake nervous smile instead of saying hello. When I have to speak, it's often hesitant and forced. I hate introducing myself to people and wouldn't dream of asking out a girl. I don't try to make friends, don't hang out with anybody and my one serious relationship was over two years ago. I resent the people around me for being able to communicate so much better--and at the same time, squandering that gift by saying so little that is relevant or meaningful. I escape the pain of my life with books, movies, games and fantasies. If I could I would stay at home 23 hours a day talking to myself and buying stuff with my debit card.

Nobody ever seemed to understand. There is almost nothing more annoying than when an attractive, popular person says condescending stuff to me like “everyone is beautiful inside,” “you can do anything if you try,” “just do it, don’t be shy.” You can tell right away that these people don’t get it. Don’t be shy? That’s the best they can do? As if I haven’t spent my whole life telling myself that. As if I knew of any other way to be.

Until last week, I thought I was all alone with these problems, and still don't feel like I really belong anywhere. But now I know there are some people just like me.

Thanks for being here.

I understand how you feel. Not everyone understands me or how I feel either (including some on this forum).

Know this; you're not a bad person for having AvPD. We all have issues, and you are NOT alone. Not on this site.
 

tinkerpunk5802

Active member
I'm the exact same way. Especially with the AvPD stuff. And I definitely create fantasies to become my reality instead of living in the real world. I've often wondered about being "meant to be here." It's weird. I mean, I can't imagine even contemplating suicide, but I definitely feel like I don't belong here. And I'm just like you. I would much rather stay home than go out anywhere. And what you said about wishing you could just stay home & order things and never go out.... <----that's totally me. I thought I was completely alone & SUPER weird until I found this site. I started posting and researching AvPD & SAD and it's made me feel a lot better. Not as weird.

But yeah, sorry for rambling. But basically, yes. I feel the exact same way.
 

tinkerpunk5802

Active member
forgot to mention on my previous reply:

about the whole people saying "don't be shy" and whatever....YES. I HATE THAT. it's so annoying.
 

k8steroonis

Active member
I've been feeling like this a lot lately. It's like everyone else is having fun and "expressing themselves" and loving life and I can't even like life, let alone love it. It's annoying. People act like it's so easy but I think that's because the happier you get, the more it compounds on itself and vice versa, the sadder you get the sadder you fall. It's not fair to those of us who have a habit of being sad because I wonder if I'll ever dig myself out of this sadness I have created. I do accept responsibility for the sadness, it's just not easy to overcome.

So yes I do feel like I'm not meant to be here right now. I wonder what world I was meant for though...
 

NP88

Well-known member
I feel you buddy. Your current situation and mindset is so close to mine. I felt the same way finding this place too even though I'm still pretty hesitant to talk to people here. Welcome. Hope you stick around.

Edit : To answer your question in the thread title ..

No, I tend to be a realist about things. My life is a product of the experiences I've had and the genetics that created me. So I am here, I know that at least. The question is how can I mold my life into something more pleasurable.
 
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JuiceB

Well-known member
I do. At first it was the only thing I could say for sure. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I'm undiagnosed and fear the idea of going to a therapist, as it would just confirm to everyone I know that something's wrong...but I'm 99% sure I've got AvPD. I found the definition online somehow and it was like reading the story of my life.

When people push me away or criticize me, it's like a dagger in my heart and it ruins my day. I'm afraid to disagree with anyone. I nod or flash a fake nervous smile instead of saying hello. When I have to speak, it's often hesitant and forced. I hate introducing myself to people and wouldn't dream of asking out a girl. I don't try to make friends, don't hang out with anybody and my one serious relationship was over two years ago. I resent the people around me for being able to communicate so much better--and at the same time, squandering that gift by saying so little that is relevant or meaningful. I escape the pain of my life with books, movies, games and fantasies. If I could I would stay at home 23 hours a day talking to myself and buying stuff with my debit card.

Nobody ever seemed to understand. There is almost nothing more annoying than when an attractive, popular person says condescending stuff to me like “everyone is beautiful inside,” “you can do anything if you try,” “just do it, don’t be shy.” You can tell right away that these people don’t get it. Don’t be shy? That’s the best they can do? As if I haven’t spent my whole life telling myself that. As if I knew of any other way to be.

Until last week, I thought I was all alone with these problems, and still don't feel like I really belong anywhere. But now I know there are some people just like me.

Thanks for being here.

I can definitely understand where you are coming from because I'm the same. But despite finding SPW I still feel like I'm alone somehow.
 

Hastings & Main

Well-known member
I do. At first it was the only thing I could say for sure. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I'm undiagnosed and fear the idea of going to a therapist, as it would just confirm to everyone I know that something's wrong...but I'm 99% sure I've got AvPD. I found the definition online somehow and it was like reading the story of my life.

When people push me away or criticize me, it's like a dagger in my heart and it ruins my day. I'm afraid to disagree with anyone. I nod or flash a fake nervous smile instead of saying hello. When I have to speak, it's often hesitant and forced. I hate introducing myself to people and wouldn't dream of asking out a girl. I don't try to make friends, don't hang out with anybody and my one serious relationship was over two years ago. I resent the people around me for being able to communicate so much better--and at the same time, squandering that gift by saying so little that is relevant or meaningful. I escape the pain of my life with books, movies, games and fantasies. If I could I would stay at home 23 hours a day talking to myself and buying stuff with my debit card.

Nobody ever seemed to understand. There is almost nothing more annoying than when an attractive, popular person says condescending stuff to me like “everyone is beautiful inside,” “you can do anything if you try,” “just do it, don’t be shy.” You can tell right away that these people don’t get it. Don’t be shy? That’s the best they can do? As if I haven’t spent my whole life telling myself that. As if I knew of any other way to be.

Until last week, I thought I was all alone with these problems, and still don't feel like I really belong anywhere. But now I know there are some people just like me.

Thanks for being here.

Yes. Lots of us here who could probably write that same thing.

I'd really suggest getting an analysis. Once you know for sure what is going on up in your head, you then start up the road to getting help for the problems.
I went for decades thinking I was an alien or an extra stuck on the set of the wrong movie. When I found out names for the crap my brain was generating, the relief was amazing. And I'd found a new starting point.

This stuff gets easier, and takes time, but I had to allow a door to open before I could choose a different direction other than constantly circling in depression & self-doubt. You also then get to tell people what's wrong and then they (sometimes) start to get it.
 

TailsAlone

Well-known member
I've been feeling like this a lot lately. It's like everyone else is having fun and "expressing themselves" and loving life and I can't even like life, let alone love it. It's annoying. People act like it's so easy but I think that's because the happier you get, the more it compounds on itself and vice versa, the sadder you get the sadder you fall. It's not fair to those of us who have a habit of being sad because I wonder if I'll ever dig myself out of this sadness I have created. I do accept responsibility for the sadness, it's just not easy to overcome.

So yes I do feel like I'm not meant to be here right now. I wonder what world I was meant for though...

I know, it's like communication comes so easily to other people and I just can't get off the blocks. It still hurts every time.

When I get home I just make up my own world in my head and go from there. So much nicer.
 

Bustn Justin

Well-known member
I feel the same way that I have a hard time being comfortable around people, well not even comfortable about myself.

There are lots of people who understand how you feel.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I resent the people around me for being able to communicate so much better--and at the same time, squandering that gift by saying so little that is relevant or meaningful.
Resenting them for being able to talk seems like a very harsh feeling! I don't have AvPD so I can't relate but I'm sure it must be difficult for you to do this. By resenting them, it shows that you want to.

I escape the pain of my life with books, movies, games and fantasies. If I could I would stay at home 23 hours a day talking to myself and buying stuff with my debit card.
There's only so much escaping you can do before having to face the real world. I found that out. Staying home 23 hours a day, every day, would give me cabin fever! (And it's impossible because of work, anyway.)

Doing those things is pushing your issues to the side, hoping they'll just get smaller. I know you say you fear therapy, but you fear it because it'll confirm something is wrong. Sometimes it's best to actually know for sure that you've got a problem, rather than trying to ignore it. I need to take my own advice for an issue I have, too, so don't be like me and try to push it away, because it'll always be there.

“just do it, don’t be shy.” You can tell right away that these people don’t get it. Don’t be shy? That’s the best they can do?.
Funny you mention this, because my friend says the same thing about me in terms of approaching women. "Just do it." Well, if it were that easy, I'd have done it a hundred times by now!
 

EitherOr

Active member
I used to think I wasn't meant for this time period. I've always been told, since a young age, that I'm an "old soul." The thing is, people 50 years ago were similar to people today. There's just a lot they kept hidden.

I think that as a species that is supposed to be comprised of social creatures, we feel completely isolated because we deal with these obstacles that prevent us from interacting and being social. We feel isolated because mental illness is still quite taboo and looked down upon. People have no problem saying they have a personal trainer, but not as many say they have a therapist. I think the world has come a long away, but I think there's still a lot of work to be done in a multitude of areas.

I think isolation is, in a degree, part of the human condition. Though people can somewhat empathize with us, we are the only people who will ever walk in our own shoes. We want to be understood and loved. Having something like SA would, obviously, lead to feelings of alienation and isolation. So I think anyone with SA (or any condition for that matter) can definitely relate with your sentiments. I know I can.

There's a certain amount of courage required to face each day, but every human being possesses it. Try to give yourself that extra push to do the absolute best you can each day. Some things suck, of course, but there are still some really nice things in daily life.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
I do. At first it was the only thing I could say for sure. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I'm undiagnosed and fear the idea of going to a therapist, as it would just confirm to everyone I know that something's wrong...but I'm 99% sure I've got AvPD. I found the definition online somehow and it was like reading the story of my life.

When people push me away or criticize me, it's like a dagger in my heart and it ruins my day. I'm afraid to disagree with anyone. I nod or flash a fake nervous smile instead of saying hello. When I have to speak, it's often hesitant and forced. I hate introducing myself to people and wouldn't dream of asking out a girl. I don't try to make friends, don't hang out with anybody and my one serious relationship was over two years ago. I resent the people around me for being able to communicate so much better--and at the same time, squandering that gift by saying so little that is relevant or meaningful. I escape the pain of my life with books, movies, games and fantasies. If I could I would stay at home 23 hours a day talking to myself and buying stuff with my debit card.

Nobody ever seemed to understand. There is almost nothing more annoying than when an attractive, popular person says condescending stuff to me like “everyone is beautiful inside,” “you can do anything if you try,” “just do it, don’t be shy.” You can tell right away that these people don’t get it. Don’t be shy? That’s the best they can do? As if I haven’t spent my whole life telling myself that. As if I knew of any other way to be.

Until last week, I thought I was all alone with these problems, and still don't feel like I really belong anywhere. But now I know there are some people just like me.

Thanks for being here.

I think people who say things like "just do it" or "don't be shy" are the ones who never felt shyness to such extent where it becomes almost impossible to just do it. Maybe its hard for them to relate as well. Unfortunately its not that easy to face your fears but as much as escaping seems helpful for a while, in the long run, you'll still need to push your comfort zone and face them. Maybe it can help to set small goals first and gradually work your way through tougher ones. Its not easy and it'll take time but seems to me its the only way.
 

gustavofring

Well-known member
Sometimes I feel like that, yes. Not all the time.

I feel mostly like I haven't found my "place" yet in this world.
But we're here, and we're alive and we have just as many God given rights to be here as anyone else. "get busy living or get busy dying". Don't postpone living.
 

Section_31

Well-known member
I have to agree. ive always felt i never belonged here. Though not because of my anxiety, my reasons are entirely different. I wont go into the deep of it, but its partly because i find i think so radically different from many "normal" people around me. In certain situations, things they automatically dismiss as unnacceptable to me are things i consider, IF it accomplishes whats needed. And for that ive been told i think wrong, i need to give my head a shake, ect. I just shrug and ignore them. I am what i am and they are what they are.

That said, i also try not to dwell on it, because like it or not i AM here and i need to do the best i can for myself.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
I think people who say things like "just do it" or "don't be shy" are the ones who never felt shyness to such extent where it becomes almost impossible to just do it. Maybe its hard for them to relate as well.
I believe that's exactly what it is. My friend to a T.
 

montejocarlo

Well-known member
i think one reason people don't feel a sense of belonging is that they've convinced themselves that others are so different from them judging on their outward behavior. i think it's just fair to say that we misunderstand most people as much as they misunderstand us. those who communicate well aren't necessarily free of inhibitions; people who say "don't be shy" aren't necessarily condescending. they could be telling the same thing to themselves for all we know. or maybe they want to help but couldn't muster a better thing to say. outwardly confident people have their insecurities as well. they are just better at hiding it. despite of what we see, WE are not really that much different from each other. i guess it's only appropriate that we try to understand others as much as we hope to be understood.

as to your question, if i were answering this on a bad day, i'd say yes. but now, i'll say no. and i wish my answer made sense.
 
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